October 5, 2026Monday, October 5, 2026

Just a thought… The great thing about getting older is that you don’t lose all the other ages you’ve been. [Madeleine L’Engle]

A few things this week about Queenagers and one in particular I have come to know in the past few months, along with her much younger male companion. Tea? Oh, we not only have the tea, Honey, we are the tea.

What’s a Queenager? Hmmmm…let’s see. It’s a term I read years ago and it just stuck to me like a tattoo; in fact, I might well get it on my right forearm to balance out the feather with Lauren’s name on it that graces my left.

If you’re reading this, you may be a Queenager, too. See if this resonates: we’re old enough to know better, but young enough to still give something new a try. Wise enough to know the answers, but smart enough to only share them with people who’ll listen. We’re more patient than we used to be, but we get fed up faster with small minds that are accompanied by big mouths. We have more smile lines, and fewer filters.

But most of all, we have a lot of life still in us – whether others see it or not.

We know who we are. And if we’re not someone’s cup of tea, they can damned well pick out a different blend somewhere else. ‘Cause these leaves have grown through the cruelest and harshest of conditions, and yet they still found their way to the sunlight. They do best in hot water. And while they can’t tell the future, they know an awful lot from the past. And while they go well with lemon, they – we – have come to deserve honey.

There’s a woman named Ellen on our cottage road. Ellen is 84 and wears each year as gracefully as the makeup she puts on every single day, whether it’s to drive her car into our little Pender Island shopping centre, or to walk to the mail box. Lipstick, eyeshadow (a sparkly shade of light green), and hair permed and just so.

Without fail, Ellen refers to her first spouse as her “starter husband.” She fiercely misses her second husband, gone over a decade now: the one who built the house in which she now lives. We can talk about grief knowing it has no time limit. Why do we still miss them? Because we still love them, and they are still gone. That’s why.

Ellen, however, does have a special fella in her life – a much younger one who’s actually in his mid-forties. He’s colourful and mouthy, laughs often and is tremendous company for Ellen, even on the rainiest, windiest days as she looks out at the unsettled ocean. Like me, Ellen’s a late riser, but insists she and Sonny sleep separately, as he prefers the dark and quiet.

They have a comfortable arrangement. I don’t know that I could live with him, but they make it work: he gratefully eats what she prepares, sings to Ellen, chimes in when she’s on the phone, and tells just the dirtiest jokes. He’s completely devoted to her, as she is to him, and he even loves when Dottie and Livi come to visit, almost as much as his girl does.

Ellen is the queeniest of Queenagers. Spunky, funny and full of life and great stories. To say that Rob and I love having her and Sonny in our lives is an understatement. They’re just another in the long list of gifts that this island has brought to our healing hearts this year.

Now, I’d be remiss if I didn’t include a picture of this gorgeous couple, and I will, right after I share this exciting news.

My Gracefully and Frankly podcast partner Lisa Brandt and I are hosting a Queenagers’ cruise in November 0f 2027. If you’ve ever wanted to do a river cruise with a group of like-minded, fun-seeking, PJ-loving women – this one along the Danube for the Christmas markets of Germany, Austria and Hungary – click on this link and get more info.

We’re planning all kinds of “just us” things to do, so please don’t put off signing up – there are special discounts that only hold until the end of this month. All it takes is a deposit for now, and we’d love to have you along. You deserve this, and having something to look forward to helps bring our lives joy. And that’s what it’s all about.

And now, as promised, Ellen and her precious Sonny. Gosh, I do hope I didn’t ruffle any feathers with that description of their May/December relationship! I wish you a great week, with a reminder Lisa and I will have Episode 197 of Gracefully and Frankly ready for you on Thursday, which will include Lisa opening my presents to her on her actual birthday!