Erin's Journals

Monday, September 7, 2026

Just a thought… It doesn’t matter how slowly you go, as long as you do not stop. [Confucius]

On this Labour Day, in addition to saluting all of the workers who keep our world going and, of course, the unions that brought us a five-day work week, among many other benefits that Canadians enjoy, I’d also like to tip my cap to my husband, whose own countless hours of labour have made all the difference to our little slice of perfection here on Pender Island.

Here’s how Wedgie looked when we bought her in January.

The place was pretty much turnkey. No real improvements were needed – a good thing since Rob was so exhausted from moving our stuff out of our big house into either our new condo or U-haul containers, and then (after they sat in storage for months) hauling those items to the cabin via rental truck and ferry, with the help of our old CHFI friend Chris Shapcotte.

But a few things fell into our laps that made one big change not only possible but amazingly cheap.

Would we really use a deck?” Rob asked when I suggested we might want one. Up until then, our outdoor furniture sat on large flat rocks and seemed just fine. No plans to build a deck this year at least.

Then came a series of remarkable opportunities to upcycle used or pre-owned materials.

One day on a dog walk, we spotted a pickup truck down our road, loaded with used pressure treated lumber. We left a note on the windshield asking if it had been spoken for, and learned it was on its way to the dump. Not just any dump either; our neighbour would’ve had to take the ferry from Pender to Vancouver Island to the landfill there. So it was brought to our place instead and unloaded. Win-win. Step one complete.

The next incredible phase came when the same neighbour realized he had bought too much composite decking, and offered the surplus to us at about 30% off what he had paid. We said yes and hauled it up the hill to our place, at times carrying it on foot, and finally, threading it through open windows in our car. Yes, there will be paint touch-ups!

The physical labour was almost as much for my one-man construction crew as the mental gymnastics he then had to perform. How big could the deck be, using only the materials on hand? What would the configuration be, given some very odd angles to the house, and could a walkway be built? Rob had spreadsheets and calculations going literally for weeks before he began cutting and assembling. First he framed, and it passed inspection!

I won’t bore you with more details but I can tell you that it took about six weeks from nothing, to this. Oh, and see that lighter coloured trim along the front? I found a guy on FB Marketplace up Vancouver Island who was giving it away! Rob picked it up, cut it up, and put it up. He’s a magician.

The walkway’s angles and the slope of the land posed more problems than expected – to get it to a degree that would be not just passable but safe was a challenge given the limited materials. He built and rebuilt it three times, but in the end, perfection!

So there you have it. We even ended up with an extra step up to the deck and one for the hot tub and it all just looks like it’s always been here. Even though building a deck was not in the cards this year, here we are – all because we said yes. And Rob worked his tail off. My job was to supply muffins, coffee and constructive (pardon the pun) observations.

So on this Labour Day, my special thanks go to Rob, who always strives to make me happy wherever we are. Sometimes it’s an uphill battle, but he never stops trying and giving it his all, which is a lot. And to all of the labourers: thank you.

Rob WhiteheadMonday, September 7, 2026
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Monday, August 31, 2026

Just a thought…The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are. [Carl Jung]

This final day of August (the end of Meteorological Summer but with three good weeks of the season to go!) is a good day to look back at our first summer on a tiny spot in the Gulf Islands of BC: what I experienced, what surprised me, and what may even surprise you. Thank you for coming along.

It’s so easy to get caught up in rage scrolling and rolling our eyes so hard we can see our own backsides. It can be hard to keep our balance amidst the hydrant of insanity being spewed and sprayed at us daily, so sometimes – as in last week – without anything positive to say, I just bowed out of blogging. More cowardly than courageous, I felt I had nothing of value to add to the conversation.

But contrary to how that sounds, this has actually been the season of leaning in: pushing myself and walking further than I’ve done daily before, learning what hiking actually is and buying, not just the right shoes, but also ordering boots for when the weather’s not as welcoming in the woods and on rocks, fallen leaves and other obstacles. Using poles for balance on the steep downhill angles. Getting a backpack so my hands are free to save my butt if I need to – things like that.

We still keep late hours of sleeping in and staying up; nighttime walks with Rob, Dottie and Livi have been astounding us with their silence. As we stroll and the pups sniff, we scan the ditches and woods for deer that might surprise all of us. The pups are meant to pee on our walks; I prefer not to, thanks! But the nocturnal highlight has been watching the waxing, waning and full moon. The song “Somewhere Out There” always goes through my head, as well as this from the official Dr. Seuss on Instagram.

Inside our tiny cabin, I’ve set up more framed photos of Lauren than have been on display anywhere since she left us 11 years ago. Not wanting our house or condo to look like an awkward mausoleum for guests, here we can be free to remember her however we want: one from her childhood, one as a bride and a trio of photos taken while living and working in Ottawa, which includes this one.

When people say they think of a loved one every day, I’m not sure it’s usually 16 times in those 16 waking hours, but it is for me. I talk to her almost daily. And sometimes it’s a mournful “Oh, Loo….” More often, though, Rob and I share laughs over her wit: the gift that we give each other to balance out the constant yet now-comfortable vacancy that accompanies every day.

And finally, to our tiny kitchen with its apartment-sized appliances. I laugh when I think back to the gourmet version of the kitchen, its fridge and oven/stove we added to our dream house on Lake Simcoe, the one we designed, had built and was to be our forever home (“If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans”…yeah…). Did I bake there? Rarely. I asked Rob recently why I didn’t take advantage of it and his response, pointed and emphatic, was “You were WORKING.” I was. And when I wasn’t, I was thinking about it, preparing for it. But the few complete meals that came out of that spacious part of the house were memorable and usually included family.

Here, where Rob and I tap a hip or an elbow to move the other out of the way when we’re both in it, the kitchen has become a true hub: from muffins to the pulled pork that’s bubbling today to the cookies and creations that have him wondering who has replaced his wife.

The answer? The real me. The one he wanted all along when he hoped for my retirement one day. I’m still busy in my way (two podcasts, Gracefully and Frankly and Drift sleep stories, will do that) but it’s all love. It’s what I get to do. What I want to do.

That’s what this glorious little spot in the trees, this Little House by the Ferries, has brought me, has brought us. A deep sense of contentment (when I control my news intake), fulfillment and gratitude.

I may not feel it every hour of every day, but the vast silence and stillness of our private wilderness spot invites me to shut up, shut down, and go for a walk or read, or create. Perhaps after ten years, my reWirement is almost complete, and it happened this summer.

Rob WhiteheadMonday, August 31, 2026
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Monday, August 17, 2026

Just a thought… Happiness is pretty simple: someone to love, something to do, something to look forward to. [attributed to various sources, primarily Alexander Chalmers and Immanuel Kant]

While scrolling through Threads last week (the kinder, gentler alternative to Elon’s former Twitter, now X) I came across some wisdom from an account called @memaw_talks.

Sitting on her deck, she shared on video the thoughts of an 86-year-old who had just marked her birthday with great celebration and joie de vive. The woman who posted, who’s 64 (which my Gracefully and Frankly partner Lisa and I will be this fall) said she asked the woman how it is that she so fully embraces aging. You may have heard Lisa and me talk about it in Episode 189 but I realize not everyone here has caught on to podcasts (you are missing a WORLD of great stuff, I promise you!) so I’m going to share that wisdom again here, because it’s worth hearing, reading and re-reading. If you have a comment on any of this, please do to go our G&F website, scroll down to the button and leave a voicemail. We record on Tuesdays, so if you’re going to, do it today, okay?

Here’s that list, and I tell you every single item in this resonated with us loudly and clearly. I bet they all will for you, too.

  1. Have something that still needs you.

A garden, a pet, a friend, a project: something that gives you a reason to get up and be part of the day.

  1. Make friends of ALL ages

Every generation brings something different into your life. Don’t let your world get smaller just because you’re getting older.

  1. Your children are supposed to build lives that don’t revolve around you.

You raise them to have lives of their own. LET THEM and make sure you keep building one of your own, too.

  1. Take pictures of ordinary days.

Say the good things while people are still here and don’t save the stories or compliments or the “I Love You’s” for when somebody’s gone. Some day the ordinary days are the ones that you will miss the most.

  1. Don’t spend your Healthy years preparing for your OLD years.

Spend some of the money. Take the trip. Try the thing. Use the body that you’ve got. Don’t get so busy preparing to be old that you forget to live while you’re still able to.

Lisa and I had so many thoughts on each one, but especially #2. The most amazing people Rob and I have met since moving to BC have been our elders: one who passed away at 99 (Mira) and another here on our cottage road who’s a feisty and loveable 84). So older friends are important as well, but Rob losing two hockey buddies in their 80s within four days broke his heart. It’s all in the balance.

And as for #5, of course we save for the days we need senior care. But Lisa brought up an 84-year-old fellow she knows who has more money than he’ll ever spend, but is so miserly that he isn’t enjoying a cent of it. Again, the balance is in there somewhere; it’s just a matter of knowing what you’re comfortable with, right?

If you have thoughts, please do share them. We love your input and it makes what we consider a pretty darned good two-person production a whole lot better!

About the five – don’t you just want to print it out and meditate on it every day? I know I do – and thanks for coming by this week. Talk to you Thursday and hopefully hear from you before then!

Rob WhiteheadMonday, August 17, 2026
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Monday, August 10, 2026

Just a thought… There is always light. If only we’re brave enough to see it. If only we’re brave enough to be it. [Amanda Gorman]

Tomorrow would’ve been my parents’ 70th wedding anniversary. With my dad’s passing last summer, I thought it would be an appropriate date on which to take his and Mom’s ashes to their final place of interment in Black Diamond (now combined with their hometown of Turner Valley to become “Diamond Valley”) near Calgary.

I’m grateful to have decided instead to make it next month, since our trip would have included a stop in Kelowna, where two of my sisters reside and are nervously watching the progress of huge fires all around them. Like yours, my heart is with theirs and all who are fleeing and fighting the fires that ravage our country these days. For all of the wildlife and domesticated animals trying to stay safe. For every soul. We watch and wait with them, and if you want to make a donation, here is the link.

Thanks for considering it – there are so many requests these days. The thought of people releasing their horses hopefully to stay safe in the wild is heartbreaking. I’ve seen ads on local sites in Kelowna asking for people to shelter their livestock for them. But really, there are so very many such wrenching decisions being made.

It’s an abrupt turn here, so forgive the lack of a smooth segue, to the video that I made for you this past weekend. Perhaps it will bring to mind calmer skies and smooth waters not being dipped in by the daring hero pilots of water-scooping aircraft.

Back when first I saw Pender Island, BC, accompanied by my Gracefully and Frankly partner Lisa Brandt who has an acquaintance who lives here, I fell in love at first sight with Magic Lake. You’ve seen pictures of it on my website, I’m sure. Here’s another for good measure.

A smooth manmade body of water, it is one of the sources of fresh water for residents here and we are grateful to have it.

But at the behest of my sister-in-law Sue visiting from Kingston, I took the plunge on the weekend. I’m not one for temperatures below 30C when I swim, so it was with a lot of trepidation that I got my butt into that lake. And I tell you, it was immediately so welcoming that it enveloped me in peace. In no time I was swimming underwater, eyes closed, bathed in tranquility. If I’d had a floatation device I’d had stayed in for an hour.

Lucky for you, this brief video sums it all up. Shot from afar so Rob wasn’t seen to be shooting strangers also on the dock, it’s not the highest resolution but you sure get the message. Life is short – summer is shorter – make memories while we can. And that’s what this weekend was about, made even more special when I was immersed in gratitude for the fresh air and lack of uncertainty and danger we are fortunate to be enjoying.

I wish that for all Canadians of the two- and four-legged varieties. May the coming days bring rain. I know I sure won’t dare complain. Thanks for coming by, and sharing a brief moment of pure joy.

Click here to watch the video.

Rob WhiteheadMonday, August 10, 2026
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