Erin's Journals

Just a thought… To be in your children’s memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today. [Barbara Johnson]

As we prepare to make our drive westward and then fly home Wednesday, we leave the Ottawa area with a birthday – Jane’s fifth today.

Before I go any further, it is with a full heart and utmost respect that I recognize this National Day for Truth and Reconciliation, devoted to those children whose lives were altered, ruined or even ended by the residential school system here in Canada. Our months without our grandkids pale in comparison in almost every way to the pain suffered by parents and grandparents in years past due to systemic abuse. We remember and strive as a people to do better together.

To say that our week with them has been an emotional highlight in an often dark year would be an understatement; the laughter, the play, the adventures and the cuddles will have to last us a good long time, but we’ll make sure they do.

With their parents’ permission, a few pictures to share of our time with Colin (who turns 10 in October) and today’s Birthday Girl.

We all went to Jane’s first NHL game (Colin’s second) and Jane’s Senators won. Poor Colin hasn’t seen the Leafs win in person yet, but a great time was had by all four of us.

We played every day we were there in the two parks near their new home (it’s really a wonderful family neighbourhood and the small school catchment means they regularly run into classmates outside – something they didn’t do in their BC neighbourhood).

One park has such lovely memories for us: it’s where we played baseball with Lauren one final time in 2015 and she hit the ball so hard she broke an aluminum bat in half. Wish we had the two pieces to prove it to you, but yesterday we bought Colin and Jane their first aluminum bats. Thanks to genes and hours upon hours of practice at our BC home with Rob, the kids can hit. As for Colin…well, his major league dreams don’t seem to be as far out of reach as logic might dictate. (I know, I know, typical grandmother!)

Here’s a sweet shot from the park the other day.

Rob took Colin to an OHL game Friday night (home team lost, poor kid!) and we ate out a few times, spoiled them rotten and just enjoyed an entire weekend of being immersed in their sweet, silly, exhausting company while their folks took a couple of nights off.

I think this time with them has marked a turning point for Rob and for me. We see that they’re settled in well and happily, and as we move to the periphery of their lives, we’ll continue to hope they hold on to the memories as closely as we will, the way I remember precious time with my grandparents when I was younger.

When it comes to saying our good-byes in life, it’s all about how we get through them: finding those silver linings, holding on to the good and even using the not-so-good to remind us that some things can be for the best. Even if it doesn’t always feel like it.

So, my friend, we’re off to a birthday party today, grateful to have had this time with family and thinking of those who missed so many years with their own.

Have a gentle week. And thank you Ottawa for the most glorious weather this weekend!

As we begin Fall, reWired radio hosts Erin Davis and Mike Cooper got back together for a special video inspired by a Stephen Colbert bit. We’re actually on grass for this one…literally…aside Buckhorn Lake, thinking Not-so-Deep Thoughts. Enjoy. Here’s a link.

Just a thought… Wilderness without wildlife is just scenery. [Lois Crisler]

Out here on Canada’s west coast, on Vancouver Island (not to be confused with the city of Vancouver or even the one in Washington State – boy, that George Vancouver got around!) we are often treated to glorious displays of nature at her best.

Today: a near miss, and pure joy.

As I gaze out the bedroom window in our new place, I’m often treated to the sights of sailboats, the odd multi-million dollar yacht and weekend water babies out on their paddle boards or kayaks. Hours can pass before I drag myself out of bed, having had an entire nautical show play out before me.

But what of wildlife? Seagulls – oh, we’ve got ’em – and occasionally we’ll spot an eagle or a heron either in flight or patiently fishing near the marina. The odd seal makes an appearance, but we have yet to see the grandest sight of all. Last week, we thought that was about to change.

As I looked out at a rather gloomy ocean, I noticed a gathering of large boats. The shape of them, and the dots of orange I could see within them, told me they were whale watchers. And where there are watchers, there are usually whales.

Occasionally we hear of humpbacks in the area, and I have an app that will tell me which whales have been seen where. But we know that Orcas often skirt our area. How often? A feature on the local weekend TV cast has a segment (sponsored by a whale watching outfit) called “BREACHING NEWS.” Cute, huh?

So I called Rob, who finally dug two sets of binoculars out of the many unpacked boxes we’ve brought over from the house. We sat glued to our places for about 20 minutes, looking at this.

Did we see an Orca? No, we did not. But we’ve been told by neighbours that, yes, they can be seen from our building. We just hoped that Friday the 13^th would be a lucky day for us and we, too, would see one of these gorgeous black and white behemoths. Without even paying to board a boat and endure the chilly rain.

So I can’t leave you with the story of a near-miss, can I? I’ll take you instead to my backyard visit at the house up in Dean Park that we’re still trying to sell (had another busy open house both days of the weekend, so it’s not for a lack of trying on our agent’s part; nothing is moving in our price range).

Enjoy this video of my big-eared friend, and stay ’til the end, because after I said good-bye, it didn’t leave.

Do potential buyers get turned off by deer? Some do, I’m sure; those who treasure their gardens and would rather they aren’t a buffet for the fawns and their moms. Us? We felt blessed when one or two – or more – would visit. And I hope this video makes you feel the same way. (Oh, and while you’re on my YouTube channel, feel free to check out my latest project: Not a Mourning Person, won’t you? Like and subscribe so you don’t miss any new editions; I’m currently producing two a week.) 

Just a thought… Just because I carry it well, doesn’t mean it isn’t heavy. [post on Instagram @powerofpositivity]

As we step further into September, and the leaves show us how to let go, as someone wisely put it, I find myself thinking so much about hope, along with a word I stumbled across last week that may make the difference between mere existence and thriving for you and for me.

Rob and I watched a fascinating documentary series on Netflix called Live to 100: Secrets of the Blue Zone from 2023. The fact that I’ve found myself talking about it to friends and family means it’s really hit something in me.

Okay, so in it, the host and researchers go to parts of the world – interestingly, many of them islands – where more people live to 100+ years of age than in other areas on Earth.

In each of them, which included specific areas in Japan, Greece, Costa Rica, Italy, California and Singapore, there were three or four standout features in their inhabitants’ lives that helped contribute to their longevity. These included community, activity and exercise, diet (so many fruits, vegetables and lentils; so little meat!) and the one BIG element that stuck foremost in my mind: ikigai.

Pronounced “icky guy,” this emerged during the show’s visit to Okinawa, Japan. It basically translates to “your purpose or passion while benefitting others.” According to an article to which I’ll link at the end, the four elements of ikigai are these:

• What you love

• What you are good at

• What the world needs

• What you can get paid for

It was ikigai that seemed to contribute to people in Okinawa (and other locales) living longer, and I guess the reason it resonated so loudly is that I’m delving more and more deeply into mine these days.

Maybe retirement did this to you. When we read or hear of people who die shortly after leaving or losing a job, it seems that they’ve lost their ikigai. Or maybe, as was the case with yours truly, they lean into the “no rules” freedom of not getting up to an alarm and having to be anywhere at a specific time. It’s what led me back to drinking (and eventually to sobriety, thank goodness).

So after a seemingly fulfilling eight years since we left the daily radio job, Rob is concerned that I find myself sinking into a malaise and that has brought us to the realization that there’s more work to be done on my grief and the compounding feelings that have come of the massive changes in our lives this year. Losing the optimism that’s always been imprinted on my heart has been hard; watching life go on around me and having no urge to take part is easy to lean into and just sink more deeply.

So why am I telling you this? Not for counsel or sympathy; it’s basic transparency. And a reminder to please not think that life is perfect for anyone, no matter what they present to the world in those Instagrammable moments.

While I search for my ikigai, I’m hoping this will remind you to hold on to yours. Maybe it’s family or volunteering or doing what you love. If that is you, that’s awesome! We need reasons to get out of bed in the morning. My new project, which I intend to be my purpose, is the Not a Mourning Person grief briefs I post loosely semi-weekly on YouTube. 

I’m using what’s in my heart to help others to keep going by knowing they’re not alone, and it comes with a responsibility to keep doing them. The community I’ve always had on social media with people who are kind, open and compassionate has fuelled me, along with the podcast work with Lisa Brandt (Gracefully and Frankly) that gives me purpose. Sustained joy will come, I hope. For now it’s just finding those reasons to get up, stay up and keep it up.

As I’ve often said in times of challenge, “We Can Do This.” I just need to believe it. Don’t we all?

Here’s an article on ikigai if you’d like to read more. I know I will. 

Just a thought… You can start anew at any given moment. Life is just the passage of time and it’s up to you to pass it as you please. [Charlotte Eriksson]

Today is a day for new beginnings, a significant celebration and even a happy ending.

As you may have seen on Facebook on Sunday, a jewel in our lives, the wonderful Mira Frankl, marked yet another big birthday, and turned 99. For us, SHE is the Great One! We love this woman with all our hearts and will always be grateful that she came into our lives through volunteering.

Now we are the best of friends; she calls Rob and me “her kids” and we count our blessings every hour we spend together. Sometimes it’s walking through Sidney, as she and I did yesterday, but most often it’s at her apartment, the dogs on the couch next to her, as she talks, laughs and even softly cries, discussing not just her own, but our days and lives.

She has so much love in that tired heart of hers, so much wisdom. What a woman; what a life! I’d wish her a longer one, but she’s ready to go peacefully to her rest and we hope for her that very same thing. To wish otherwise would be selfish, but we’ll never be ready for her to go.

Letting go of someone or something you love is, as anyone who’s done it knows, never easy. So after months of consideration, it’s time for me to drift away from doing so many new sleep stories and bringing them out every two weeks. I’ll have a new one tonight, but that may be it for a while.

There will always be well over 100 tales to listen to for free (thanks to sponsors enVyPillow.com and SierraSil.com) and they’ll be staying put. My challenge will be spreading the net (or duvet) to bring in more listeners to the gently-told stories of love, endurance, kindness and, yes, princesses. I’ll find a way to do that and to grow our Drift with Erin Davis sleep stories audience, but I think that this one-woman initiative is in need of a rest. (My fingers just typed “reset” and that may have been a better word.)

I just talked to Rob who said – because he’s my in-house therapist – “Remember what you say: don’t agree to something when you’re in a good mood, or turn down something when you’re not.” SO with that in mind, I’ll just say I’m stepping away for now and will create again when the inspiration hits.

So that’s one bit of news. The other is that in the past few days I put out my first and second Not a Mourning Person grief brief videos. There will be no particular order in which to watch these two-minute segments on YouTube; I’ll drop them when I feel I (or you) have something that needs to be said. I’ll keep shooting and putting out these videos and am counting on those of us in the grief conversation to add to it with your questions and observations. The emails will need to be short, as are the videos (I realize we live in a TL;DR – too long, didn’t read – universe).

It’s time to try something new. I appreciate the many suggestions I received for a title, but as you see, I chose Not a Mourning Person as a play on words and my mindset. But that doesn’t mean we can’t or shouldn’t talk about grief in our day-to-day lives!

So let’s raise a coffee cup to new beginnings (like grandbaby Jane’s first day of school, and Colin’s start of grade five in a new one), gentle endings and celebrations of life and the gifts we find in the every-day.

Happy New Year (the way Labour Day always makes me feel) and if you’re a former teacher, I really hope your happy dance is loud and lively!