Erin's Journals

One of the pieces of news to come out over the holidays, and perhaps you missed it, was the list of names of those who will be honoured this year with the Order of Canada. Among many that you know is a person I just love: Jann Arden.
 
This singer/songwriter from Alberta has been as much a part of the musical landscape of this country as almost anyone alive today, and yet, it’s more than her multiple Junos and tremendous book sales that have made her an outstanding choice for this honour. Let me share with you a couple of personal thoughts about this woman.
 
When I think about Jann, I smile. Her sense of the absurd and her way of putting her thoughts into words – profound, profane and both – as a writer, inspired me 14 years ago to start journaling here for you. And thank goodness for that: without this journal, I’d have never had a way to stay in touch with you through the good times and bad, the times on the air and off. Thank you, Jann!
 
She parlayed those blogs into bestselling books and then, more recently, her writing forged a deeper connection with so very many as she told of her mother’s descent into the hell that is Alzheimer’s disease. Once again, just as she had in earlier telling of being raped and of her own challenges with addiction, she was helping countless others to heal through her openness and unflinching honesty.
 
Jann and I have sat side by side on a stage with tears in our eyes as we silently connected through our losses of different kinds; a sisterhood that is shared, not only in our birth year, but in two healing hearts.
 

 
I want to share one more glimpse into who Jann Arden is. It’s a story I wasn’t going to tell, but I will today with the absolute pledge that I cannot – will not – ask Jann again for the favour that she did in December. 
 
A woman who used to listen to me on CHFI reached out. Because she sensed I had a friendship with Jann, she wondered if I could contact her in hopes that Jann might get in touch with a friend of hers. This friend was going through the same awful challenges as Jann: her mother, too, was living with Alzheimer’s. The listener told me her friend followed Jann on Twitter, read everything she wrote and was an avid fan. Could I possibly get Jann to reach out to her?
 
I hesitated to direct message Jann, as I knew how very full her plate was with Christmas concerts, a full travel schedule and book signings. But I did, first gently warning the woman who reached out to me that this might not happen. But Jann messaged me back immediately asking for the contact information. 
 
A week passed, and then two. The listener messaged me that they’d not heard from Jann and that her friend was very much looking forward to it. And so I nudged Jann, apologizing profusely for bothering her in the midst of this busiest of times. Sure enough, the next day she made the phone call and they talked for ten minutes.
 
While I was thanked profusely by both Toronto-area women for making this happen, I was adamant that I really had very little to do with it. It was Jann. It is Jann. And it illustrates perfectly why she deserves to be honoured: for her honesty, her generosity and her huge, kind heart.
 

It’s not the way I wanted to start out a new show and a new year and yet, there I was, being accused of “fat shaming” yesterday on Facebook because of an article I posted on Ocean 98.5’s page. Great.
 
I found a piece over the holidays on prevention.com and while I wasn’t crazy about the headline they used, I thought the information in the story was worthwhile and something our audience (which is much the same as CHFI’s, only smaller) might also take away some tidbits from. The title is “6 Foods Thin Women Eat Every Day.”
 
For the record, in case you don’t have the time or inclination to read the article, they include almonds, whole milk and butter, green tea, chili peppers, pears and eggs. In two brief bits (my chat segments last between 45 seconds and one minute on our midday show) I summarized the six and why nutritionists believe they help speed up the metabolism, make you feel full or give you more fuel to run on. Because I summed them up fairly quickly, I promised to post the article on our Facebook page.
 
That’s when I got this response from Cheryl: “Way to start the year by fatshaming (sic) your audience.” (Followed by an angry emoji)
 
I couldn’t believe what I was reading. My pulse elevated, I responded to her immediately: “Fat shaming? I thought it was interesting information (as I am always looking to lose a few and, most importantly, live healthier). I am truly sorry if that is how you took it, Cheryl. Erin.”
 
Here’s how she responded: “You may have been sharing it for the information, but even in your reply ‘always looking to lose a few’ in addition to the smiling woman in the photo and corresponding emphasis on Thin in the headline really says to me that if I am fat, I am not doing life right.”
 
Her comment was followed by a post from another Ocean 98.5 listener who said she found it helpful, as she’s already lost 30 pounds and she’s actively trying to lose, too. So that calmed me down a bit. Up until I read Sabrina’s comment, I was wondering if I should take down the article. Instead, I posted that I wished Prevention had worded their headline differently, but still found the information interesting and hoped other listeners would, too.
 
Then I took a breath and remembered my old mantra, the one that had to stand me in good stead while I was fielding emails or calls from people who either misheard or misinterpreted what I had said on the air. That happens: people are driving, hair dryers are whining or the shower is pelting and things – even tones of voice – can get lost in the noise. That mantra? I can’t be responsible for what you hear, only for what I say. 
 
Before I discussed the Prevention tips on air, I said, “Maybe you’re like me and getting reacquainted with your Fitness Pal app again after letting things go over the holidays.” In no way did I say, “Hey sisters, it’s time for everybody to buckle down and lose some weight!” I wouldn’t say it to my OWN sisters, never mind listeners; I know what an emotional minefield talking about body issues is. I’ve steered clear of it for a good long time, mostly because of my own love/hate issues with food. 
 
Overthinking it later, it occured to me that talking about foods that you can eat to achieve weight goals is no more incendiary than giving tips on safe driving. If someone infers that I’m calling them a bad or unsafe driver, then that’s their interpretation. Do I wish Prevention hadn’t used the word “thin” in their headline? Yes. But is it what made me click on the article when I saw it on Twitter to begin with? Also, yes.
 
I hate ticking off listeners. Maybe I’ll stick to talking about This Is Us. It returns to TV next Tuesday.
 

Welcome in to a brand new year! Resolutions, anyone? Mine will be the same as last year: put down more roots, get my backside to the gym more often. Find some new challenges. Work on getting better.
 
I always appreciate this first week – like the days after Labour Day – as a chance to reset my sails and look to the future. Of course, it’s often a time for reflection, too, which is sometimes the best way to decide how to move forward. Can’t drive safely without the odd glance in the rearview mirror, can we?
 
I’ve lots of pictures and stories to share with you as the days and weeks go on, but I wanted to start this new year with a funny bit of trivia that I came across. According to a study that came out on January 2nd last year, the day that women in North America are most likely to get pregant is…wait for it…TODAY: January 2nd. They’ve even narrowed it down to what time most conceptions will take place and that is 10:36 pm.
 
Why today? Well, the research suggests that it’s because all of the chaos of the holiday season is finally behind us. Couples have some time to themselves back in their own beds, they’re still in that nice Christmas afterglow and voilà! A baby.
 
Now here’s the part that really got my attention: the average pregnancy lasts 38 weeks. So if you do the math, what you come up with is that the most likely date for babies conceived January 2nd to be born is…drum roll…September 26th.
 
That would be me. My exact birthday. Hardly original, right?
 
Without conjuring too clear a picture (for my own good as well as yours), I think I’ve worked it all out with my dad coming home from a year or two posted up at the Defence Early Warning (or DEW) Line up in the arctic to stay with mom and my two siblings at my grandparents’ house in tiny Turner Valley. I guess one thing led to my mother and here I am! I always knew I loved these first few days of a new year, but I was never quite able to figure out why!
 
Here’s a picture of me with Dear Ol’ Dad on Christmas Eve at one of my sisters’ houses in Kelowna. We gathered, shared music (singing in three- or four-part harmony) and got some cuddle time with Dad’s great-grandson Dominic. Mom would have just loved hearing her four girls – and husband – singing together. Who knows? Maybe she did. Talk to you here tomorrow.