Erin's Journals

Just a thought… The last of the human freedoms: to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way. [Viktor Frankl]

As usual, you can watch a video version of this journal on my Facebook page, or here on YouTube.

So I’m going to give myself a little spiritual pep talk today, and I’m hoping that if this is a message you need to hear, too, you get out of it what I’m putting in.

Earlier this week, as part of a Canadian Real Estate Association podcast I do called Real Time, I had a long talk about psychological and personal well-being with Dr. Winny Shen.  She’s an Associate Professor at York University, an expert on worker health and well-being and many other issues, but while I’m listening to her, I’m also thinking about you. About me. About how we’re getting through this together – apart.

Burnout was something she talked about – and I think (actually, I know) that a lot of us are suffering from this where Covid is concerned. I mean, whoever thought we’d be into this now 14 months in – the loneliness, the anxiety, the grief over what we’ve lost this past year. And you’re allowed to feel burned out, which is described as physical, mental and emotional fallout from a prolonged period of stress, which we have most definitely been in.

Many people feel that they are running on empty: tired, worn out and depleted. Some people can also feel cynical like, “What’s the point in all of these precautions when some people are just ignoring them?” It’s easy to feel cynical, angry and helpless when we can’t see a finish line; we don’t know what this crawl over glass is for, when some people are skipping along on pogo sticks and treating it like a big summer carnival.

So what do we do? Some of the messages from Dr. Shen that were most valuable to me were about self-care. Detaching. Which I took to mean from negative conversations, especially where you’re not possibly going to enlighten anyone or change their minds. I mean, why not just hit your head against a wall? You’re the one who ends up with the headache, while the wall is just fine and ready for you the next time you open Facebook.

But on the positive side, detaching also means taking time to do something kind for yourself. For many people in lockdown, the simple pleasures like visits with family or a trip to the hairdresser or even taking in a movie in a theatre or going to the mall just aren’t a possibility. So find something that will make you feel good. Soak your feet and put on a fresh coat of polish. You’ll see those coral piggies, and so what if no one else does – it’s a reminder you did something kind for yourself.

And finally, if you’re feeling like there aren’t enough hours in the day – as people who are working through this pandemic are – try to make a time diary for a few days and keep track of how you spend your time. And then, in INK, make sure you carve out time for you.

For me, that means taking that long bath or a Netflix binge or whatever makes me feel like I’ve had a break. And please, try to get as much sleep as you can, while balancing it with whatever exercise your restrictions allow. You’ll sleep better, your body will thank you for it and you’ll come out of this actually ready to sprint to that finish line.

On that note, thank you for coming by and always giving me something on the horizon, not just to put on makeup for, but to look forward to. (I’ll spend the weekend picking up those inverted prepositions, but for now…I’ll be gentle and leave them there.) Take good care of yourself. A lot of people need you to be healthy and to see setbacks as chances for better outcomes. Be the kid digging in the manure pile, searching for the pony. It has always worked for me…that’s all I know for sure.

Just a thought… God bless that potential that we all have for making anything possible if we think we deserve it. I deserve this. [Shirley MacLaine, Best Actress, Terms of Endearment]

If you’d like to watch a video version of this journal, you can see it on my Facebook page, or here on YouTube.

I didn’t dress up for the Oscars last night and host a party with a few good friends (as Rob and I did two years ago) so I’m dressing up for you today. Because why the heck not, right?

Didn’t even watch the Oscars, for the first time in my adult life. Even when we were on trips, I’d set the VCR or PVR and catch up later. The year I had Lauren, I made sure I caught some of the Oscars the next night from our hospital room. Not this year.

I don’t think I saw one single movie that was nominated. Usually in the weeks between the nominations and the actual awards night, we’d binge like crazy so that we could have favourites and see how they fared. Not this year.

Yes, there are ways to pay to see the nominees in the comfort of our own home (where the snacks are way cheaper but the popcorn just ain’t the same) but we’re so weighted down – no, there’s got to be another way to say that so it doesn’t sound like a burden – with podcast and speech projects plus, of course, family time, that if we’re lucky, we stop working (editing mostly, each on our computers with headphones on) at about 9 pm and watch an hour of something we’ve recorded and then go to bed. That’s unless there’s a hockey game, in which case Rob watches and I edit, jumping when he yelps over something the Leafs have done.

Don’t get me wrong; this is all a labour of love, as I truly find fulfillment in what I’m doing. Speaking of which, don’t forget to join me, if you’re interested, for Tuesday’s Facebook live (www.facebook.com/erindavispage) with Yvonne from Home Equity Bank talking about CHIP mortgages – the ones you see Kurt Browning doing the ads for. Mmmmm…chips.

Now, where was I? Yes. Not watching movies. I know there’s some great stuff out there and one day I’ll catch it – or not. I am not feeling in the mood for anyone’s angst; I have enough of it going on behind the scenes here. There’s a reason I got sucked into a wonderful rabbit hole of Karen Carpenter drumming videos yesterday – do look them up – and Gene Kelly dancing on roller skates. Momma needs her happy place.

To a very unhappy place, thanks for asking: Dad is getting a walker and seems to be recovering well after the fall and the unconscious spell that led up to and followed it last week. But the worst news is that after dodging a bullet for well over a year, his residence in Kelowna now has its first Covid-19 death, and there are some 11 cases, including one staff member. So there’s a lot of worry. He’s had his first shot, but not everyone did.

But please, keep marching and telling me about your civil rights. Of course, these same people expect to march into the ICU when they get Covid and take a bed that should have been held for someone who actually adulted their way through a pandemic. Nothing is fair about this.

Oops, I got sidetracked again. Well, my friend, I shall go for now and we’ll see you perhaps tomorrow night. Think positive, test negative and we’ll talk to you then.

Just a thought… You cannot get through a single day without having an impact on the world around you. What you do makes a difference and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make. [Jane Goodall]

You can watch a video version of this journal on my Facebook page, or here on YouTube.

It’s been easy to miss that today is Earth Day. There’s been so much going on this week: the Derek Chauvin conviction, the sadness and elation that accompanied what should have been an obvious outcome, the disappearance and then possible Covid exposure of Doug Ford in Ontario, a snowstorm affecting so many there. And then, there’s what’s going on in our lives.

My dad has taken two falls and was found on the floor, unconscious, by a staff member in his residence in Kelowna. He’s not in long term care; he happened to be discovered when staff was delivering meals to him. He’s okay, fortunately, but he’s in lockdown, because now there are five cases of Covid in the place.

95% of people there have been vaccinated (why not 100% I don’t know) so the disease will present more like a cold, but again, there’s the isolation, the loneliness and, of course, the inherent danger when someone like Dad falls, and then no one finds him. It’s been a very stressful and worrisome week here in our family: tears, anxiety and more sleepless nights. Last night, I awoke to find myself dreaming of really stale Twizzlers as I chomped on my drugstore night guard. When I next go to the dentist, a real one is on the To-Do list, I think.

Of course, there are a lot of positives, too, and I always try to focus on them – especially here. You’ve got your own worries and heartaches. So, hopefully you saw the beautiful sunrise I posted at my Facebook page on Tuesday.

Okay, so tonight I’ve got something else for you – and that is a chat, just with you. About everything, about nothing. Why? I’m practising my tech skills (or lack thereof) for an event next Tuesday, but it’s not about that. What we’re going to do is meet up on Facebook Live (link above) and have a chat together.

My friend Taylor (who’s doing it long distance from Toronto) will bring up your questions and nothing’s off limits. So it’ll be 100% live and I’ll be here with you tonight. Why? Aw, hell, why not? If you have a show you like to watch at 8pm EDT (or even hockey) just run the PVR and that way you’ll miss commercials when you fast forward through your show later – right?

Set an alarm now and we’ll see you later. It’ll just be me on screen, so come as you are and Taylor will be typing in your questions to me, or comments – whatever you want.

If you were in my head or saw my calendar, you’d probably be thinking, Jeez, Davis, you’ve done a live virtual keynote this week (a 6am alarm), you’ve got a whole new podcast you’re scrambling to assemble content for before it launches in the next month or two, you’re posting these journals, you aren’t getting enough sleep and you’ve just joined TikTok (erindawndavis). What the heck is wrong with you?

Congratulations! Those are the questions I’m asking, too! But the answer is, we’re all just getting through these times one day at a time. Right now, April is very busy. So adding one more item to our Apple calendar really isn’t a thing. Besides, it’ll be nice to connect. See you tonight and let the tech gods be kind to us. ‘Cause if you’re in Ontario, I know the weather gods definitely have not!

Whether or not I see you tonight, I’ll wish you a gentle weekend with lots of sleep and a very peaceful Earth Day.

Just a thought… People who wonder if the glass is half full or half empty miss the point. It is refillable. [Author Unknown]

You can watch a video version of this journal on my Facebook page, or here on YouTube.

I’m sharing your feelings of frustration and sadness if you’re reading this in Ontario, where all it takes is a lot of anger to get playgrounds reopened, and yet Queen’s Park won’t reconsider on paid sick leave or reinstating the hero pay from early in the pandemic )(when essential workers are no less heroic now than they were then). None of it makes sense, except that it points out that loud enough voices from the right people seem to be heard. Something to think about.

And here’s something else. I want to thank Kathy Burns for always sending uplifting, inspiring and funny messages to me. This one came from her and I’m going to share it with you today because I think we all need this, okay? Here we go.

A young lady confidently walked around the room with a raised glass of water while leading a seminar and explaining stress management to her audience.

Everyone knew she was going to ask the ultimate question, ‘Half empty or half full?’ She fooled them all.

“How heavy is this glass of water?” she inquired with a smile.

Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.

She replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you’ll have to call an ambulance. In each case it’s the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.” 

She continued, “And that’s the way it is with stress. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won’t be able to carry on.”

“As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we’re refreshed, we can carry on with the burden – holding stress longer and better each time practiced. So, as early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don’t carry them through the evening and into the night. Pick them up again tomorrow if you must.”

Now some tips for you on this day and heading into this week. Here we go:

1 * Accept the fact that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue!

2 * Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

3 * Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

4 * Drive carefully. It’s not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker.

5 * If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

6 * If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

7 * It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

8 * Never buy a car you can’t push.

9 * Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won’t have a leg to stand on.

10 * Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.

11 * Since it’s the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.

12 * The second mouse gets the cheese.

13 * When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

14 * Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

15 * Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.

16 * We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names and all are different colours, but they all have to live in the same box.

17 * A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

18 * Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about you today.

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY

19 *Save the earth. It’s the only planet with chocolate!*

You know, 19 is a strange place to end a list, so feel free to add to it at my Facebook page and thank you. Again, I’ll add with a sigh: room in the glass doesn’t mean it’s okay to fill it with vodka (my own take) and finally, we can do this. Stay safe and stay sane. And remember, your voice can be heard. If you can move playgrounds (to reopen) you can move mountains.

Just a thought… A heart without dreams is like a bird without feathers. [Suzy Kassem]

You can watch a video version of this journal on my Facebook page, or here on YouTube.

If you follow me on my public Facebook page – and thank you for that – you know that yesterday I was saying…”Um, what do you think I should journal about tomorrow?” and there were a few suggestions ranging from complaints about curbside food pick-up to gardening to a few others, like how I put a video journal together.

Nothing hit home, so let me tell you what’s going on in my life.

And I think I may have a confession today, paired with a question: just what is a workaholic?

I know I’m prone to addictions; it came to light when I bit my nails as a child and into my teens, which I have read is a sign of an addictive personality. When I start something, I really get into it – and I have hundreds of dollars’ worth of beads in cases in the basement from a jewelry-making venture 20 years ago to prove it – and, of course, from drinking to smoking to loving my video poker, that trait comes through in my personality loud and clear.

But long ago when I was working or thinking about the radio show every single waking hour, Rob told me I was a workaholic. He wasn’t being accusatory, it was just a fact of life and who I was. The show had to be the best it could be every single day; the saying was “you’re only as good as your last show” and I lived that. Fortunately, it didn’t mess with our family or our marriage, and because of that drive, we have a comfortable retirement.

Wait – retirement? Not quite. I am very pleased to bring you up to speed, as much as I’m allowed to mention right now, about the next big project in my life. I’m not talking about the Facebook Live on April 27^th with Yvonne from Home Equity Bank; that’s some work/pleasure I do on the side for a company that I trust and believe in.

It’s not the volunteering, we continue to do that. And it’s not the grandparenting, the role that Rob and I have taken on, along with watching over Colin’s little family, as we have been doing since July of last year. Those are all important elements.

But here’s the news. Thanks to a lot of hard work that is keeping me up until 2 am while I record and edit, sweat over a getting just the right microphone and try to get the read and sound just “so” – something that is literally giving me headaches with the stress – I have a dream coming true. And it has to do with dreams. And sleep. And rest and stories.

It’s a culmination of my one of the lines that has driven me in my life: “Tell me a story.” I would say it to Rob at night, but he’d be asleep before he could get halfway through one of his tales of the day’s adventures, while I was still wide awake.

It was a mantra when we’d be relating on the air something that had happened that we thought listeners might relate to – because the stories could never be just about me, it had to have a “has this ever happened to YOU?” element to it.

“Tell me a story” is what drives me here, too. I mean, how do you keep people coming back here for 18 years or watching a video journal past the 30-second mark? It has to be something that interests you. Not just me, ’cause who the hell wants that?

Coming, before this summer, is a brand new podcast that you’ll be able to get on your favourite major podcast platform and it’s going to be – wait for it – sleep stories. Fairy tales. Original takes on old stories or even stories that have been newly written just for you.

They’ll be told with a little bit of hand-picked music, in a soft and relaxing way – stories you can fall asleep to and a few interviews for the daylight hours that have to do with sleep: how to get a child to bed, how to interpret your dreams, which essential oils can help you drift off.

I’ll soon be able to tell you the name of it and show you the artwork and all of that exciting stuff, but I swear it’s filling every waking hour of my life these days – and nights – ironically keeping me from the bed that I hope you’ll be in when you listen.

So that’s my news. Again, I’ll tell you more when I can, but for those who’ve commented that they find my voice relaxing, well, this is for you. It’s also for me. It’s my dream job, this podcast, and I can’t wait to bring you along. And if one more podcast (this is my third going right now, but the first that’s all from me, with a big hand from Rob) makes me a workaholic, then I always was anyway.

I am looking just to get all of this creativity and passion out of me and into people who want it. To help make lives a little better, while also enriching mine (and I don’t mean financially, ’cause that’s a long way off). It’s living life fully, with joy, and remembering that while I want to help you sleep, I can catch up on mine when this is up and running. I’m so glad to be able to share this with you. And I’ll be back with you here on Monday!