Just a thought… I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious. [The Office character Michael Scott]
Well, hello – welcome to a new week and, yes, that new month smell is still in the air. May brings with it so much hope, including in our home: my vaccine is booked for a week today – Rob’s gotten his first dose – and my dad’s residence, after 25 cases and, tragically, one death, is now officially out of “outbreak” mode. So, yes, hope. Measured out in daily doses and press releases.
In our lives, we’re in that sort of purga-territory too. Waiting, watching, wondering what it’s going to take to get the people, who are counting on the rest of us to take precautions, to understand that you can’t spell “herd” without either He or Her. I’m not up to arguing anymore and you’ve heard enough from me on that.
So I’m getting really excited about that shot; it’ll likely be Pfizer, as that’s what Rob got last week and, except for a little shoulder soreness the next day, was just fine. I’m taking extra precautions so I’m not like Danny Glover or some character in a movie who is just like a week from retirement and then gets knocked off. I’m being super careful not to add to the Covid numbers and just lying low and waiting. Which, if you know me, gives me time to think – while I’m writing, while I’m editing, while I’m getting ready for my sleep stories podcast to launch in the next month or so.
But in the wee hours of yesterday morning, I had an idea. Okay – remember how I was looking at the upside of masks, such as hiding chin hairs, saving money on lip colour and makeup in general (’cause who wants to leave it all on the inside of a mask)? Well, I think I’ve come up with the next million dollar idea. You know those, right? That’s where you put in two million dollars and end up with half.
But bear with me: A Wax Mask.
You buy these masks with wax already in them, wear them for a bit so the wax is nice and warm and then when you get home from wherever you were, just before you take that bra off…you press it down, then RIP off the mask and voilà! No hairs, no cares!
(Side effects may include not being able to actually breathe while the mask is on. Please consult your doctor and dermatologist before buying.)
Okay – so you know I’m kidding, right? Seriously, what a rip-off!
Yeah, my mind wanders a bit these days. Reading the comments from anti-vaxxers yesterday on a post from Jann Arden, who proudly got her vaccine, I wanted to gouge my eyes out, but instead, stilled my fingers and prevented myself from commenting – taking some of that advice from last week’s journal to “disengage” – and went on with my life.
But to those who say “my body, my choice”: your right to punch ends at my face. You get the virus and one of my grandkids gets it, how did that choice work out for your body when it affected two little people or their classmates, or grandparents or…ah, you see? I’m just going to put this mask back on and wait until I get my shot.
“My journal, my opinion.” That sounds so obnoxious, doesn’t it? But just remember these actual words of wisdom: “If the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.”
You have a great week and I’ll be back with you here on Thursday, waxing poetic as always.