Erin's Journals

Thursday, February 11, 2021

Just a thought… Removing negativity from your life leaves more room for positivity to grow. [The Good]

A reminder that you can watch a video version of this journal on my Facebook page, or on YouTube.

I had a realization the other night as I was lying in bed, a puppy restlessly making her way around the covers and Rob snoring softly, rhythmically next to me: I feel…lighter.

My scale and FitBit might argue a little: being laid up with the leg thing has curtailed my steps and I’m not counting them for a few weeks, and that’s okay.

But it’s my heart that’s lighter. I realized it’s because something very heavy has been lifted: hate. Anger. The way that I was feeling every day about the unfairness, the injustice, the cruelty and the lies that were coming out of our neighbours to the south. Yes, a lot of those emotions are still being played out – I mean, it’s not suddenly Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood – but the person most responsible, the face of that hatred (at least to me) has virtually disappeared.

And so has my deep seated anger and fear and restlessness and, again, hatred. There are a lot of reasons for feeling all of those things, not the least of which is the Covid countdown to vaccines and worry about my dad’s mental health; he’s using the word “depressed” for the first time in his life, and this is a guy who lost his life partner nine years ago this month.

I know that a lot of people have anxiety over how to make the rent, when they’re going to hold their grandchildren and loved ones again – all of those things that are very real indeed in 2021.

But I’ve let go of the scourge that I allowed in. I don’t blame anyone but myself for the feelings that I’d experienced since the day he first came down that escalator; we are responsible for what we let in and what we let go of. I just noticed the difference, is all.

And do you know what? Since this transition, both inside and outside of me, that space in my heart has blown open and a wave of creativity has washed in. I’m sparking in all of these different directions: a video blog, tons of podcast work – the Elder Wisdom one for its humanity, which I love, and the Canadian Real Estate Association one which is always challenging and enlightening – plus something else I’m working on that is going to see me make a longtime dream come true.

I guess what I’m telling you is that if we clear that space, erase or put a blowtorch to the garbage and the dead wood that is weighing us down, we actually do create room for joy. For insight into how to do something that sparks us – our hearts, our souls, our brains – and we can turn this time of uncertainty and fear into something creative.

You don’t have to write a book; you can just take the time to read one. Do a deep dive into a show that you know will make you happy (and I keep mentioning Apple TV’s Ted Lasso for a reason) or just start that rainy day project (organizing photos, anyone?) that you always said, “One day…one day….”

We have one day. Today. And I wish you a lighter heart and the sight of sparks. Even tiny ones. It can be static electricity. The energy is around us, it’s within us and it’s driving us to find a way to get through this. With joy.

Rob WhiteheadThursday, February 11, 2021