Just a thought… What strikes the oyster shell does not damage the pearl. [Rumi]
If you have the time, why not go to the audio journal today? Rob’s playing DJ for me…you’ll get it….
I hope that, if you celebrated it, you had a lovely Family Day weekend. We marked the day here last week at my Aunt and Uncle’s and it was an evening of good food and laughter. Can’t ask for much more than that, can we?
Today, Rob and I are marking kind of a big one: our 30th wedding anniversary. We’ll take a short trip next month, but tonight it’s dinner at a downtown Victoria restaurant and that will be about it. Maybe we’ll exchange cards, but there will be no presents. There’s nothing more we need or want than each other today – as sappy as that sounds. I have a small bouquet that survives from Valentine’s Day, and I’m not indulging in chocolate right now. So we both get off easy, I guess!
I don’t know what to say about this little milestone except that the traditional gift is “pearl” and the modern one is “diamond.” I need neither. My days of wearing jewelry, other than my wedding rings, are few and, even at that, most days I don’t wear the set that Rob completed on our 15th anniversary.
My first engagement ring featured a nice sized cubic zirconia; I didn’t want Rob spending money when we had a wedding to pay for. Actually, that’s a lie: my first engagement ring was a lovely multi-diamond stunner that we got right after Rob took a knee outside Birk’s in the Eaton Centre. We were a little drunk after a radio industry event that day, stopped off at the mall and voilà. Three weeks after our first date, we were engaged.
We put the brakes on that pretty fast, I gave back the ring (against my sisters’ advice) and we took it slow. And you can read the whole tawdry story in my book – out next February (boy, that’s a tease). Anyway, one year later, we were engaged for real and married February 20, 1988.
My grandmother was my matron of honour; my sister Leslie maid of honour. My mom and Rob’s stepmom started a small fire when the candle they lit together on the altar ignited the decorations hung above it. Rob and I sang to each other. That, and the fact our colours were grey and dusty rose (aka pink) add up to what I know were cringeworthy now, but we did it. We laughed through our vows and as much as I worried on our flight to our honeymoon the next day that I’d behaved inappropriately, Rob assured me I hadn’t. Besides, that laughter has saved us.
Sometimes I hear Rob’s easy, lilting laugh and, apart from being delighted that I can still make him laugh after all of these years and trials, I wonder where it comes from and how his spirit can be so resilient that he laughs still, despite what has happened in those 30 years since we first promised to “honour, cherish and encourage your own fulfillment as an individual through all the changes in our lives.” (Yes, we both still remember our vows and will say them today.)
I cherish the sound of his laughter. Knowing that we can always find some humour in whatever life throws at us is what keeps me sane. I’m so grateful for this kind and gentle man every single day. I’m not exaggerating. Every day. Some days, living with me, he has some heavy lifting to do, but he never complains. And when it’s my turn to carry him – and those days do happen – I hope I show him the strength he shows me. After all, I’ve been given a great example.
Finally, I’ll close today’s journal with this. It’s a moment that happened in the TV show 9-1-1 and it stuck with me. When one of the fire team is in a car crash that leaves him alive after having his head pierced by a steel bar from the truck behind him – through and through – his fire chief says something to this effect: “You are the luckiest, unlucky son of a bitch on earth.”
I paused the PVR when I heard that line. I turned to Rob and said, “That’s us. The luckiest, unlucky SOB’s there are.” And it’s true. As long as we keep focussing on the lucky part most days, counting our blessings, we’ll be all right.
Thank you for coming by and letting me share what’s in my heart today. It’s full of love and gratitude. Because life is good. And it’s best with Rob beside me.