Erin's Journals

 
And it’s good-bye today to Kelowna, this city of 132,000 in the BC interior that counts among that number, two of my siblings and my dad. While the city itself is about 50% larger than Victoria, the Kelowna metropolitan area claims a population of around 200,000, making it the third-largest metro area in BC behind Vancouver and Victoria.
 
How lucky we were not to have the skies smudged with the smoke of forest fires! But it’s not summer yet. Those fires will happen – as they do every year, to our great sadness.
 
There was no sadness to be found over the last few days in our little family circle. During this celebratory visit we ate too much and laughed a lot; I was reminded of the rugged beauty (and, yes, traffic congestion) that this area holds.
 
Yesterday, before we started to pack up again for today’s journey, I was treated to more family time with my mom’s older sister. At 89, Auntie Panty (as I’ve teasingly called her for decades) is the last real link I have to my late mom, so I treasure my time with Arleen.
 
We chose a restaurant down in the Mission area of Kelowna, on the shores of Okanagan Lake. This place, the Manteo Resort, was the site of the worst public speaking nightmares I ever endured just one year ago. If you’d like to read about it again, here are links to parts one and two of the journal I wrote last May. 
 
Our lunch yesterday under umbrellas, a cloud-softened sky and amidst warm temperatures, was simply perfect. Bad memories have been relegated to that part of the brain that departs in waking life and wakes you up in a sweat in the middle of the night! But at least they have a nice backdrop in this case.
 
After the older folks had left to head back to their respective homes, Rob grabbed the shot above that you see: me in a frame that the Manteo Resort mounted out on the deck. 
 
And so, off we go. I love the Okanagan, but for Rob and me, it just has too much winter (snow) and too much summer (heat). We’re happy where we are on our island paradise, and that’s where we’re heading today.
 
I promise some dramatic pictures as we make our way through the Coquihalla and onto the afternoon ferry across to Sidney, BC. On the way over on Monday, Rob saw a whale show its tail twice. We can only hope to be treated to such a sight today. Fingers crossed and eyes peeled!
 
I want to thank you for sharing these travels with me. From the gently frenetic pace of book signings and speaking events in Ontario last week, to this week’s feting my dad on his 86th, it’s been a busy few weeks and I’m ready to wake up in my own bed, Molly by my side, tomorrow morning. But we’ll have a Friday journal for you and I hope you’ll join me then.
 
In the meantime, here’s a piece that I’ve written this week for Walmart with some great grilling ideas (that is, buying ’em, not using ’em) and accessory suggestions that you may find handy. Have a great day.
 

Hello from gorgeous Kelowna, BC, where Rob and I will stay another night before heading back to our island home. You know, it’s funny, just from conversations I had last week, how many people think that Vancouver and Vancouver Island are one and the same; Vancouver being that giant city on the mainland, while Vancouver Island is…well, you know, an island. And that’s the place we call home in the city of North Saanich (like sandwich without the D and W). But enough about home – let’s be here now!
 
Yesterday morning, Rob left the guest suite here at “Socks ‘n’ Sandals-wood” (what we call Dad’s residence, Sandalwood, in honour of his favourite foot attire) to hit up the beverage bar. There, Rob encountered Dad, who I suspect was lying in wait for us to rouse, and who had already been given a balloon and had had sung to him a lively rendition of “Happy Birthday.”
 

 
Usually it’s Dad and the choir here who do the singing on people’s birthdays, but this time it was the activities director who sang to him, and he was suitably thrilled. Balloon (and coffees) in hand, he and Rob came back to the suite and we sat and visited for well over an hour, a lively and laugh-filled talk interrupted only by phone calls from well-wishing family members. We took Dad and his lady friend Dawna out for lunch and then dropped them off for some quiet time.
 
Dad’s big day part two saw a gathering with two of my three sisters (the third being out of the country) and their partners. We had a dinner together, cake, and then took in one of Dad’s granddaughters’ school concerts. He couldn’t have been happier had it been Ben Heppner or a Glenn Miller tribute band!
 

 
A very special gift for Dad on his 86th was a bottle of unique scotch. Dad doesn’t drink much at all, but in this case, he might have a sip or two every now and then in honour of his roots. Dad was born in a tiny oil town called Turner Valley, Alberta. On a recent trip there with the Kenny Rogers tribute band with which she plays, my sister Heather picked up a bottle of Eau Claire Distillery single malt whisky (scotch) that is the province’s first hand-crafted single malt and – like Dad – is made entirely of Alberta ingredients.
 
He had a sip last night and declared it “perfect”: better than any he’d had from the peaty bogs of Scotland. I’m suspecting that its roots, and his, had a lot to do with the declaration. I’m not a scotch drinker, so I can’t tell you for sure. But Dad loved it – and the thought behind it – and that’s the important thing.
 

 
Lots more family things planned today for us…you have a lovely Wednesday and I’ll be back with you here tomorrow when we’ll be, as the song goes, on the road again.
 

After arriving safely, and just as the Raptors game ended (One point! Really?), in Kelowna last night, Rob and I were reunited after 10 days apart! That’s a long stretch for us. We bunked down in the guest suite at Dad’s seniors’ residence and look forward to two days here, departing on Thursday to make it back to the Sidney, BC area in time for our semi-monthly Rotary meeting.
 
This is a favourite picture of mine from about five years ago when Dad came to town to visit from Kelowna. As I recall, we had dinner at Baton Rouge at the foot of the CN Tower before hitting a Blue Jays game.
 

 
I loved learning that in the past few months Dad would spend time reading Mourning Has Broken to his lady friend, Dawna. (Can you think of a cuter pair than one named Don and Dawna?) I would like to believe that actually reading about my life, and my perceptions of how things unfolded, has probably helped him to understand me more than he ever has. That’s a nice place to be at this point in both our lives. 
 
Today we celebrate Dad’s 86th birthday. And it is indeed a happy one. After surgery for prostate cancer some 20 years ago, he’s been doing just great health-wise. He’s been an endless source of strength when it comes to watching him do the right thing – including picking up the pieces after his wife of 55 years, my mother, passed away 7 years ago – and he has led more by example than by decree. For that, I am grateful.
 
In a recent interview on David Letterman’s second season of his Netflix show, Ellen DeGeneres said something that made me nod in recognition: she said that her dad wasn’t big with praise or compliments. He’d say things like, “Oh, Mr. Smith said that he really likes your show” or “So-and-So says you’re doing very well…” (and I paraphrase) and that’s a lot of how Dad was with my career as he and Mom watched from Brighton, Ontario and friends would pass along clippings or tell him they’d seen me somewhere on TV. But in the past three months he’s giggled during our phone calls and been excited for the progress of my book, cheering me on. Perhaps part of that comes with Dawna’s added perspective?
 
As we spend this day together in BC’s beautiful interior, I’ll be grateful to have my dad with us in good health and spirits, of mostly sound mind and in the kind of physical shape that makes me grateful for all of the years he would diligently take his daily walk, listening to military marches on his iPod. On top of all of that, my three sisters and I have been lucky to have a father who’s adamant about taking care of his after-life arrangements, even to the point of having his headstone in his front hall closet (engraved with all but a final year)! 
 
Yep – that’s Dad. I love him dearly and am so grateful for all he is, all he’s been and all we get to celebrate today. Because that’s a lot.
 
Back with you here tomorrow.
 

Ahhhhhh…what a weekend! I don’t even know where to start except at the beginning of it: flying into Ottawa on Thursday night and spending three amazing days with a certain little man and his parents.
 
There were trips accompanying a sweet boy on a plastic tricycle to a nearby playground, hours shared in sand and on slides and, of course, storybooks and cuddles. He’s such a happy little boy and I’ll have to hold those sweet, sweaty, sandy memories in my heart for the next several months until we see and hold him once again in the fall, by which time we’ll hope to meet his new little sister.
 
Brooke is holding up well and may be one of the few Ontarians to be wishing away the summer. Bring on October! She and I had long talks that went well into the night (and even the early, early morning), we spent spa time together doing some pampering before she’s doing more Pampering, if you know what I mean, and I continue to count the reasons to be grateful to have her in our, Colin and Phil’s lives. As I said when I announced their great news a few weeks back, she’s proven herself to be a wonderful mother already and we’re so looking forward to seeing a newborn in her already-full arms. 
 
Although we FaceTimed with Grandad Banana every day, we sure did miss Rob. But with a mountain of firewood to split and an equally tall pile of chores to take care of, and with no paying events per se, it just didn’t make practical sense for him to fly with me on this visit. 
 
Today, as I subtly brush away tears during the AC flight’s taxi to the Ottawa runway, the plane will be taking me towards more family: I’ll land in Calgary and then transfer to a flight to Kelowna, where my dad and two of my sisters reside. Rob will be taking a ferry over from Vancouver Island and driving through the mountains to meet me at YLW. Tomorrow is Dad’s 86th birthday and I’m told we’ll have an early dinner and then hit up my niece’s school concert. 
 
In the meantime, both Rob and I have asked what the heck we are going to do about watching the Raptors game tonight! I think I land at about 11 pm Eastern Time and the game and series could well be pretty much over by then…so I don’t know how it’ll all work out. I’m so sorry not to be in a position to witness history tonight, if indeed the Raptors do pull off another big win, but I’ll sure be cheering along.
 
Maybe I can catch some of the game while waiting at the Calgary airport, but I think it’s only an hour-long layover. But poor Rob will be driving through mountains. Wouldn’t you know it? And just when we’d gotten such comfy seats on the bandwagon! 
 
Meantime, this tweet from @dayslikethese sums it all up perfectly. I may have a handful of years on this Toronto Star editor, but I couldn’t agree with her more. 
 

 
Have a great day, GO RAPTORS, and I’ll be back with you here tomorrow. (Oh, and for Lynne P. from Newfoundland who wrote and asked, and to whom I was unable to email in return because of an address problem, those banana sneakers Friday were from Winners.)
 

IS IT FRIDAY YET? Ha! I’m not complaining, but, oh, it’s been a week! One great, busy, wonderful week filled with hugs, laughter, tears and new friends. And, oh, yes, OLD FRIENDS. The best kind.
 
Like the friends we dined with on Wednesday before the Indigo event in rainy Kitchener. At a restaurant near the bookstore, we were joined by Rogers chief meteorologist Jill Taylor (left), my pal Lisa Brandt and, on the far right, afternoon host on CHYM in Kitchener, Adele Newton.
 

 
We laughed so hard that a table of ladies behind us decided to move. We were sorry-not-sorry and glad to have had a little time together to catch up.
 
How lucky I was to have someone as talented and sincere as Adele interview me onstage at Indigo!
 

 

 
She asked probing and heartfelt questions and I felt humbled by the comments and questions from people in the audience who, themselves, are travelling the path of grief. It was a wondrous evening filled with honesty and great compassion and caring.
 
Perhaps the greatest moments came in the office in the back of the store when Kim, the manager of this particular store (to my right in the picture below), told me her story of loss and what Mourning Has Broken meant to her. It warmed my heart and gave Lisa and me so much to think about as we made our way home via the near-empty rainy highways (thank you, Raptors) back to Markham, where we’d made our home base for the week.
 

 
There aren’t enough words to praise the people who helped make this week’s events such successes: from Michelle Butterly on Monday to Mike Cooper, David Blackwell, Julia Suppa and Beverly Thomson (pictured below) at the Markham Stouffville Hospital events on Tuesday…
 

 
…from Adele Newton Wednesday in Kitchener and the team from Matthews House Hospice and Kevin Frankish (pictured below) who helped make yesterday’s event at Tangle Creek such a hit with his “Donahue”-style dashing with the cordless mic. His questions were dynamic, heartfelt and perfect and it was an absolute honour to meet the 200 people who came to hear what we had to say during lunch in the beautiful verdant setting of a sunny golf course yesterday.
 

 
As I finish writing this, I’m folded into a seat on a small prop plane getting ready to take me to Ottawa. If not for this ticket, I’d be wearing these and walking – no, running – to be with Colin.
 

 
Grama Banana’s on her way. It’s been a fantastic week and I am grateful – so grateful – to everyone who made this all possible. Most of all, to Allan Bell, who coordinated Markham and Matthews House, my accommodations and even getting me to the airport! And to Lisa Brandt, Thelma to my Louise this week, who drove, supported, encouraged and laughed with me day after day. How lucky I am to have a sister like her!
 
Have a beautiful weekend and enjoy the sunshine. I’ll be back with a different kind of glow on Monday. And thank you. This whole experience is like a house burning down, but out of its ashes rises a tree that is bearing just the sweetest fruit.
 
Here’s to joy.
 
Oh, and by the way, if you’re planning to take advantage of this super weather with a garage sale, check out what I put together for Walmart this week. Have a great weekend!