Erin's Journals

Happy JULIO Day! It’s July 10 (Jul 10, thus “Julio”) and although it hasn’t caught on like MARIO day (Mar 10 – you guessed it) who knows? Maybe it will – or has done in countries where Julio is a more common name than here in the Great White North. Or maybe I’m the only person in the world crazy enough to look at numbers and letters and come up with words. That’s how this brain of mine works, for better or for worse!
 
More importantly than any JULIO, this is a special day for us because one Brooke Russell Shirakawa is marking her 26th birthday. I’m using this space to tell you a little more about our “daughter-in-law” Brooke than you already know because it’s her day. And with a baby arriving in early October (another Libra like Colin and me – yay!) she’ll have little time to soak up moments that are just for her. And goodness knows she deserves them, which is why we do spa days when I get to Ottawa.
 
I mention in my book Rob’s and my vast appreciation for Brooke. She came into Phil’s and Colin’s lives when it seemed that the sun would never shine on this tightly-knit duo again. But there she was. A blend of strength and vulnerability, confidence and questioning, she has brought joy, love and stability into all of our lives.
 
I love the conversations we have that go for hours as Brooke shares what’s in her heart and listens to what’s in mine. She’s put up with the crazier aspects of my life (so much tamer than it used to be, but still very public) as she read comments on Facebook about her pregnancy and had to smile through suggestions that her own baby bear the name or middle name of her husband’s late first wife, our Lauren. I mean, how much shadow does a gal have to step out of, she must have wondered. And I agreed.
 
Brooke has come to a place of understanding the vast kindness that people have shared towards our little family and that it now includes her. It’s not a situation everyone understands, but still, she tries and I appreciate that. 
 
She’s had to learn to adapt to the often not-so-gentle dance of family dynamics as her marriage expands to not the usual two families and sets of parents, but three (which, thankfully, includes us). And as always, she adapts.
 
Now, here she is ready to add to their own little trio – with a baby girl due in two-and-a-half months. I know she’ll be a great momma to the sweet pea who’s arriving in a bit; she’s already proven that again and again with Colin. She’s patient and funny, strict but soft. Thanks to both of his parents, Colin is learning manners and boundaries, but always the rules are imbedded in logic and a sense that the child understands what it is that’s being asked of him, and why. They’re not “those” parents who let their child run wild or act out. And every Sunday we get to spend FaceTime with Colin, all the while catching up with Brooke.
 

 
When people, such as the women I spoke with in a FaceTime book club this past Monday, mention how they marvel at my relationship with Brooke, I give her all of the credit. She had to open her heart – mine had already been blown open by grief – and accept this woman who might, by logic, resent her being there. Nothing was further from the truth, despite little voices whispering in her ear that that would be the case. Luckily, she and I found out who each other really was (thanks in part, ironically, to talking about the NBC show This is Us) and we’ve grown from there.
 
How lucky Rob and I are to have this young woman in our lives! I hope we tell her often enough, but really, is there such a thing?
 
Take good care and enjoy this Wednesday. Going to combine babies and lavender and…goats here tomorrow. Talk to you then!
 

Thanks for your feedback and posts yesterday regarding the bin and the bags. I always appreciate hearing your opinions.
 
Living on the “left coast” as some call it, we tend to raise ideas that get the rest of the country’s eyes rolling (that is, until they adopt or adapt them too, which they usually do – eventually). There are some on the far right and of older generations, for example, who think trying to dispose of plastic straws is something to ridicule, instead of seeing the movement as just a teeny, tiny step towards helping to heal the planet and cut its addiction to disposables in general and plastics in particular. It’s about making you think.
 
When you put your lips around a paper straw at A & W, for example, you remember that one less piece of plastic is quite possibly going to end up in landfill – or worse still, in the oceans. It simply makes one more conscientious, hopefully. Of course, there will always be those who ridicule, too. But I don’t understand their thinking. (I do get how plastic straws aid the disabled; we’ve had that discussion here before and I think there’s room for everyone’s need to be accommodated.)
 
Then, of course, there’s the movement towards cleaner air, an embracing of the undeniable science of climate change and a switch in our energy use. I just mute people who claim that alternate fuel sources equate to a belief in unicorn p*ss and fairy dust (as seen on the stickers on huge pickup trucks). I can’t and won’t waste my energy debating them. Many have been marinating in oil and tar sands their entire careers and I get that. I did answer a post using that photo yesterday saying that the pickup’s driver must be just astounded at the magic of electricity in his house every day.
 

 
Some of those folks with their heels dug in – even my own Dad – love to laugh about “tree huggers” as the enemy. How very 1960s of them! I don’t. I want this beautiful planet to survive so that my grandson doesn’t have to keep witnessing the marking of “hottest June (or insert month here) on record,” as we did again this past month. But as I say, I’m done arguing. If someone wants to cherry-pick scientific facts, perhaps they could try jumping out of a second storey window to prove their disbelief in, say, gravity. I don’t recommend it.
 
But I digress. Getting some ranting off my chest this week, I guess. Here’s what made me smile when we were in our hotel room two weeks ago in Vancouver.
 

 
I love this idea. You’re actually rewarded for not getting your towels washed daily. Being there just one night, we didn’t get a chance to acquire any rewards for doing what we would have done anyway. Who are these people who need their towels changed every single day? Do they do that at home, or is that what makes a hotel stay special – wiping off with a pristine towel every single day?
 

 
Rob and I have stayed some places where we’ve put the card or note on the bed that we are going along with their green initiatives, only to find that fresh towels replaced our damp hanging ones anyway. I’m guessing for some housekeeping staff, it took a while to break the habit of just switching them out daily. But honestly, it’s such a small gesture – and one that’s made even sweeter by the rewards this hotel offers.
 
Let’s hope more and more establishments start to take up this initiative. I just love the idea of giving to the David Suzuki Foundation and, even if you don’t believe in its work, you’d still get a reward for doing the right thing.
 
Is it going to change the world? No. Will it save a town in India that has run out of fresh water? No. But not doing anything most surely will not, either. It’s like the straws: not a big thing, but a tiny thing. Some might call this “virtue signalling” (cynics love to stomp all over well-intentioned initiatives). I call it doing the right thing – one tiny step at a time. Back with you here tomorrow and I won’t be so ranty – promise!
 

Hope you managed to stay cool this weekend if you were in the more humid parts of our lovely country; here in the Victoria area it was cloudy and about 20C. Perfect weather for the Saanich Strawberry Festival, where you could spot Rob, me and a whole lot of other great Rotary folks volunteering, cooking and selling dogs and burgers. Now I think we’re off ’til Labour Day and the Saanich Fall Fair. I shall practise my Bingo calls until then.
 

 
Seeing the trash and recycling bins everywhere yesterday reminded me of something I posted on Twitter last month when I was in Ottawa. It was one of the hottest days of the year to date and Colin and I were hanging out at the playground nearest his parents’ house. I was trying desperately to commit our moments to memory – the sights, the laughter, the experience of going down side-by-side slides with him – when my olfactory bulbs were slapped with the smell of something that definitely didn’t fit the sweetness of the day: dog poop baking in the sun.
 

 
I tweeted something to the effect of, “those who ignore signs and dump their dog poop where they’re not supposed to are garbage people.” Something like that; I don’t commit my tweets to memory.
 
Now, you know I generally don’t go out of my way stir up sh – er, stuff. I thought it was a no-brainer that if you deliberately disobey signs and put your poo bags where they don’t belong, you’re not a good pet parent. Or citizen. Or, okay, person. Who actually wants to be bombarded with the smell of doggie deposits in the hot sun like some vile version of Shake ‘n’ Bake?
 
Well, surprise, surprise: I was treated to a lot of opinions. Many had suggestions of what was worse, like people who toss their bags in others’ driveways or on the lawns nearby; most everyone had a story of a careless pet owner who couldn’t be bothered to dispose of their bags at home. We’ve all seen ’em.
 
But the most in-your-face response came from one person who insisted that putting it in the trash was the best thing that a pet owner could do. (There were a lot of “at least” comments made, but especially from this one person.) Apparently the SIGN ON THE GARBAGE CAN asking people not to do it didn’t apply if one thought it was a better idea than: a) not picking it up at all, b) spreading it on the slide (one commenter’s experience), or c) just dropping the bag out in the open.
 
For heaven’s sake, whatever happened to just obeying the signs? Staying within the lines, whether or not they suit you personally? I swear these are the same people who insist on texting or using devices while they drive (or are stopped at red lights) because they know better than the law.
 
(As an aside, we came up on a car on Friday that was stopped at a green light – not one that had just turned, but that was full-on green – whose driver was doing who-knows-what. Fortunately, we were able to swerve and miss her as soon as we realized that she wasn’t moving, but the gentle sound of our horn hopefully woke up the driver.)
 
We may not like the rules, but they’re set up for a reason and they apply to everyone, not just the ones who agree with them. If you think it’s doing your civic duty to put your poo bag in the public trash, then good for you. But if that garbage, which by the way cannot be moved easily as it’s planted in concrete, happens to be mere metres from a play set, as this one is (not great planning, City of Ottawa)…
 

 
…then is it so hard just to obey the signs? You could think it through and consider children and caregivers who have to live with your disposal, or you could just, as Paul McCartney put it, “listen to what the man says.”
 
Getting along would be a lot easier if we weren’t constantly having to deal with other people’s sh*t, don’t you agree?
 

I don’t know how it is that the first week of such a laid-back month as July can be so busy. But here we are, glad to see Friday roll around (unless you’re among those who booked the week off because of Canada Day on Monday).
 
I have half of a new computer: the store here in Victoria that deals with Apple products replaced my wonky keyboard, my touch bar, my trackpad and speakers, which somehow works out to be less cost to Apple than replacing just the keyboard. Anyway, here I go with another one. I will be sure to let you know when H, E, A, R and T are worn out!
 
One bit of writing that I won’t be doing anymore: the weekly articles for Walmart’s website. I was happy to take on a project that taught me the joys of learning to hyperlink (when you hover over a word and another link opens up – I can DO that! LOL) and to write descriptive articles. I had the freedom of coming up with my own themes and ideas, which is a rarity, I’m told, and despite the fact that what was supposed to be an hour’s writing was always three (and I billed for one, of course, because that was the max) I quite enjoyed stretching that writing muscle. And now it’s done.
 
I got a bit of flack from a Facebook visitor or two who took exception to me working with or for Walmart. I wouldn’t have the nerve to take shots like “Well, I guess I can unlike you now on Facebook…” (conveniently, I blocked her instead, stinker that I am) or to say, “Walmart? Really?” as though I was supposed to write for: a) Greenpeace, b) Holt Renfrew or c) my own website exclusively. But that’s over now.
 
Will I write for someone else in the future? I can only hope! I love putting thoughts into words and creating something out of thin air. So I’ll put it out there: yes, I will. I have no idea what or for whom. Maybe just for you, and that’s okay too!
 
My final Walmart article was a collaboration and a labour of love. Our daughter-in-law and Colin’s mommy Brooke helped me with a piece that Walmart suggested (they began requesting themes in the last month) about preferences in a mom-to-be’s third trimester, which is what Brooke is in. She came up with some great ideas (wishes and wisdom, I called it) and I’m grateful to her for her collaboration. I hope you’ll enjoy it. Here’s the link.
 
And finally – last plug today, I promise, of book, cruise, articles or anything (I realize I have probably tried your patience of late here, and I’m sorry). Mike Cooper’s making a personal appearance at a gathering in Yorkville Wednesday evening of next week. While you’ll learn about the AMAWaterways October 2020 cruise we’re hosting together, it’s basically a free gathering for those who are curious about river cruising in general.
 
Come and give Mike a hug for me, will you? Here are the details if you’d like to register. Also, if you wanted to tune in to the cruise webinar a couple weeks back but just couldn’t, here’s a link to that. 
 
All right. Well, I’m heading into another busy weekend: some favourite family from Calgary is visiting, so we get some face time with them, plus on Sunday, Rob and I will be selling burgers, etc. for the Rotary Club at the local Strawberry Festival. Gotta love summer – it’s busy in just the BEST ways! 
 
Enjoy, take care and thank you for putting up with me. Talk to you Monday. 
 

Welcome into Thursday – already! Have you found a good book to enjoy under the shade of a tree or awning, or perhaps inside near a fan or the AC? I’ve been enjoying the emails and posts from folks saying that they held off on reading Mourning Has Broken until summer. I wasn’t sure it would be the kind of lighthearted breezy read that some folks are looking for…until I saw this yesterday:
 

 
That’s from a website called thesavvyreader.com. Here’s a link to the entire article. 
 
I’m so grateful for the nice mention and am hoping that with the live book clubs I’m doing, I’ll be paying back the karma just a bit. Next Monday, for example, I’ll be joining a book club in Ontario led by Cathy S. via FaceTime to discuss the book, answer questions and perhaps expand a bit upon ideas – mine and theirs – for an hour or so. This will be the fourth book club discussion I’ve joined and I’ve enjoyed every single one of them.
 
I hope that if you’re with a book club or just have a big group of friends who love to get together over a glass of lemonade or wine and talk, you’ll consider reading the book and sharing a chat. I’d love it. 
 
This is my second-to-last week of writing for Walmart. I enjoyed having a chance to learn what things like hyperlinks are, and the nuts and bolts of writing for a website other than my own, but it’s time to reclaim my time, as some wise woman once said. Next week I’ll put the spotlight on my daughter-in-law Brooke for my final Walmart piece, but for now, enjoy this one: on the road with little ones!