Erin's Journals

Just a thought… Friendship is a wildly underestimated medication. [Anna Deveare Smith]

It’s eerily quiet in the condo today. Dottie and Livi are padding around looking for Miss Lisa, and wondering why their cuddles are just down to the regular number again. They may even ask why Mom and Dad’s alarm isn’t going off every morning and why their daily walks moved back to the usual 10-11:00 time when Mom finally got upright.

Yes, it’s because Lisa boarded her Porter flight and flew from Victoria to YYZ, to be met not by an empty curb where her shuttle should have been (which has happened) or any number of other “un-welcome home!” debacles; her husband Derek picked her up at arrivals late last night and they headed off for the homestead in Port Stanley.

What a week it was! We centred it around our Facebook Live event on Thursday (which you can see here – so far we’ve had over 4500 views, which is considered by most measures a huge success).

It started out as a bit of tech debacle when we realized we couldn’t use my laptop and the auxiliary camera we’d set up and also log on to Facebook…blah blah blah…long story short, we threw Lisa’s phone into action, which meant all of our framing with artwork went out the window and we hilariously ended up with one painting above another and it looked awful. Here’s a behind-the-scenes pic as we were up and running.

The room was lined with big grey slabs of acoustic foam, meant to cut the room echo. I mean, coming from radio, Lisa, Rob (who helped with set up) and I just expect good sound, and we figure you do, too. We had a separate microphone set up and of course it couldn’t be used either, thanks to the laptop being taken out of the equation. Ah, the best laid plans, my friend.

The live event began 10 minutes late (which you won’t see on video) but we had a blast for the hour we shared with viewers. We gave away some G&F necklaces, answered your questions and had some laughs. Dottie and Livi enjoyed a bit of the spotlight and all in all we’d say it went well.

What did we learn? To try something else next time. We are D-O-N-E trying to do live events on the Facebook platform with its stupid limitations, including having to have the phone placed vertically rather than in landscape mode. I mean…if we can put ripped abs on a hero picture of Trump, surely we can figure out how to go live with a phone sitting sideways, right?

The week was a joy. Within walking distance from the condo we shopped the myriad thrift and women’s wear stores in Sidney, ate out and enjoyed a street market. A short ferry ride away we experienced the joy and peace of Pender Island as Lisa and her friend (and now hopefully mine) singer/songwriter Sarah Smith walked a beach….

We experimented with the air fryer and jicama “fries” (jicama is a starchy member of the pea family that tastes like a cross between a potato and an apple; found it at Walmart).

We enjoyed keto scones, early nights (equally early mornings) and lots of laughs, convertible rides and dog walks.

As I say, it’s quiet today and my week is wide open. But as we reflect upon a perfect six days together, accompanied by sunny skies and temperatures just around 20C or so, we’ll count down to seeing each other again – next time in Toronto when I come east to host an event. Hotel sleepovers with my bestie? Now that is something to look forward to!

Don’t miss Episode 86 of Gracefully & Frankly this Thursday and thank you again for making our 85 Live such a success. Your patience with us is only surpassed by your kindness. You’re a lot like Lisa that way.

Just a thought… Distance means so little, when someone means so much. [Tom McNeal]

Ah, the waning days of July. What a turn the mood of our neighbours to the south took last week…and I confess to feeling swept up in a wave of hope.

Add to that the spectacle of the Paris Olympics opener and Céline Dion’s incroyable performance of “Hymne à l’amour” from the balcony of the Eiffel Tower (which should have been accompanied by a Flood Warning, not just for the Parisian rain, but the tears from viewers around the world), and it was a good, good week for the heart…with the exception of the devastation in glorious Jasper National Park. Oh, the heartache….

There was another big reason for an upswing in my decidedly blue mood of the past few months: a surprise gesture of kindness and compassion that came my way.

Let me explain by asking you a question: when you were a kid, did you ever have a pen pal? I don’t think I did. I barely had any real-life friends, because of moving all the time as a kid (something that has been linked to depression in adults in a study Lisa Brandt and I will be discussing this Thursday on Ep 84 of our Gracefully & Frankly podcast).

Last week for only 48 hours, I was visited by an Ontario pen pal. That’s right; we’d never met. We had exchanged countless emails and texts over the past few years as we shared our triumphs and heartaches. Then, knowing I was in an emotional ditch, she told me last Sunday she was getting on a plane, and she did. Wednesday to Friday was our time.

Someone wiser than I said there are three things you should have in life:

Something to do

Someone to love

and Something to look forward to/hope for.

Andrea’s visit rolled all three into one. Kindred spirits in many ways, we cemented our friendship with long heart-to-heart talks, some great reading recommendations (from her to me) including Build the Life You Want by Arthur C. Brooks and Oprah Winfrey, and a whole lot of sight-seeing.

The purpose of her don’t-bother-changing-your-body-clock brief visit was not to share in some of the area’s loveliest views, but I figured if someone’s going to go to all of this trouble and expense, how could I not at least attempt to add to her memories. So we hit up a few of the places cruise visitors go.

Here are a few things we experienced together. There was the view of the fjord from the Villa Eyrie in Malahat.

The world-famous Butchart Gardens.

You can feel the peace here. And if you’re really lucky – there’s no one in the shot (it was a busy day, as usual at Butchart)!

Victoria’s inner harbour, where planes, boats and whale watching tours keep the waterways busy.

And, of course, she was as in love with Dottie and Livi as they were captivated by her!

Oh, and that Ontario body clock meant Andrea got to capture something I’ve yet to see: the sunrise from our balcony.

I can’t even put into words what her visit meant to me and to my spirits. As I count down to my dear friend and G&F better half Lisa Brandt’s arrival one week today, I can only say thank-you. To friends I’ve met, to those I haven’t, and to you for sharing this ride with me. The horse (or that damned pony in the poo I’m always digging for) goes up and down and as long as we stay on it, we’ll be okay.

Here’s to another go-round this week. GO Canada, kudos to Queen Céline, and you take care of yourself. Maybe connect with someone who misses you – even if you’ve never met (but don’t respond to weird friend requests on Facebook from men with two first names LOL).

Just a thought… The last of the human freedoms: to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way. [Viktor Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning]

How is it that I forgot the key message I gave in speeches: the quote above from Dr. Viktor Frankl? How could I have let myself be mired in the grief of not having our grandkids around anymore and the uncertainty of our house and so on, sinking into an abyss of despair?

Those are the questions that came to me as I sat in the little top-down MINI, enjoying a gentle summer’s day ride back to Rob, Dottie and Livi. I guess the answer is easy: I’m human.

Here’s my ferry pulling in to the harbour to take me back to Vancouver Island. Quite a sight….

Last week I did a whole lot of nothing much. I wrote two Drift sleep stories and started the laborious project I’ve taken on of putting some favourites to video for YouTube. (They’re not up yet: I want to upload a whole bunch at once.)

I got our Gracefully and Frankly Episode 82 prepared to go up to the internet despite sometimes facing WiFi challenges. I walked the beach, listened to Lauren singing on my phone, met a river otter (hope you saw my video story!) and just slept in, ate in, and watched an entire series on Prime: Daisy Jones and the Six – the story of a 70s band loosely based on the drugging and slugging drama behind Fleetwood Mac.

Oh, and for those between times? There were always ancient episodes of Forensic Files. (Sidebar: Hey! Have you heard of this new stuff called DNA? This could change everything! LOL)

I kept up on news while simultaneously avoiding most of it, remembered Bob Newhart by watching some of his best internet clips, and started reading a book set on Mayne Island, my home for four nights.

Mostly, though, I enjoyed the silence. The solitude. The gratitude that I was able – and allowing myself (with Rob’s blessing, not permission) – to be alone and shake off the overall malaise I’ve been curled into for the past several months.

It wasn’t a quick fix; it took a long while to get into the funk and it’ll take a long while to get out. Distractions are my friend I’ll be getting both of those things when pod-partner and pal Lisa Brandt arrives here in just over a week!

Then what? Aw, who knows….

Life is short, summer is shorter and damn it, July is shortest of all. So here are a few of the pictures I took on my one short excursion from the cabin to the beach. I hope you enjoy them.

Just a thought… I always joke and laugh when people ask me what’s the key to my long marriage and lasting love. I always say ‘stay gone!’ and there’s a lot of truth to that. [Dolly Parton]

Welcome to a brand new week and the second half of my favourite month of the year.

You know, sometimes when things feel stuck, it’s up to us to move. Like instead of waiting for things around us to happen, we have to do what we can, change what’s possible, and create new opportunities.

I lost sight of that for a few weeks at the end of June, sinking into the mire of depression that hits all of us from time to time. Fortunately I don’t suffer as some do; I can see what’s happening and know that it will pass. This time I decided to try something old and something new.

The something new is getting back to work: yes, I’m already busy with three podcasts – and in case you missed it, our Gracefully & Frankly with Lisa Brandt and me is growing, and we’re going to do a Facebook Live event on August 8^th at 8 pm eastern time (08-08-at 8 pm is an easy way to remember!) and you can learn more at our G&F Facebook page. So there’s plenty cooking there.

But I’ve decided to try to get more listens to my sleep stories too: now that there are over 100 of them and there are only so many princesses and royalty-free short stories I can mine, I am working to put a relaxing video to each story (it’ll be footage I have shot or found myself) and post them to a special dedicated YouTube channel. Plenty of people, myself included, watch or listen to meditations on YouTube, admittedly made much less annoying by eliminating ads via the premium feature. So, why not sleep stories? Please, please sign up here (I won’t bother you, I promise).

And if I can find a way to allow banner ads or some passive way to add income to keep funding my travel passion, I’ll do that. It will never interrupt your rest!

This is a mighty steep learning curve I’m on, but between hot flash-inducing frustration at not having a millennial in our lives to walk me through how to do this, and the fear that all of the hours of extra work involved in adding video will amount to no discernible increases in watches, listens and yes, income, I’ll persist! I need the distraction. And work has always saved me.

And for the “old” to which I’m turning? Well, that would be travel. Not the long trips that I love so much, but I’m running away from home today, hopping on an island ferry and going to one of the local Gulf Islands I’ve yet to visit: Mayne Island. Ironically, our house is just off a street called Mayneview. So, while we could see it, neither Rob nor I have visited.

Rob’s chosen to stay back and continue to work at the condo. Discovering that our new place’s washer/dryer set is too small and our dishwasher too old, we have appliances arriving this week. I had hoped to find a cabin somewhere, but living in a part of the country that people flock to in the summertime, it’s not easy to get a spot with just a few days’ notice. So, fingers crossed, the resort will offer me the solitude to edit, to write, to rest and rejuvenate. There won’t be alpacas like the last place to which I escaped, but who knows? I may make other animal friends.

My two furries from home can’t come, as there are no more pet-friendly spots available where I’m booked; Rob has generously agreed to take on full care of Dottie and Livi so that we can all be free of each other for a few days.

Being happily married for this long means recognizing when you need a break. We both know this is not like us: short fuses, impatience and just an overall feeling of fedupedness with our lives and each other. So I’m creating a little space between us – something we both need. And when he says I should think about going away, I never ever take it the wrong way. To me, it’s another sign of love: living the promise of our wedding vows to “encourage your own fulfillment as an individual.” Will I miss him? Sure. And that’s part of the point.

You have a good week. Because good WiFi is a necessity no matter where I travel, I’ll be bringing back a favourite Drift with Erin Davis sleep story tomorrow and a brand new Gracefully and Frankly Episode 82 on Thursday, where we talk earthquakes, good “personal” vibrations and the celebs we’ve lost in the past week, and a few behind-the-scenes tales. Talk to you soon!

Just a thought… Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness. [Desmond Tutu]

Welcome in – and I’m happy to share, at last, a bit of good news.

No, our house hasn’t sold; we’re still living straddled between two places, although we have vacated the house while leaving it (mostly) furnished so that it appears lived-in. The St. Joseph statue planted in the garden and even the little feng shui golden frog gifted to me from my podcast partner and pal Lisa haven’t yet done their magic, but again, our fingers are crossed. It’ll take more than talismans (talismen?) to sell our place; we expect, as it was in our case, it’ll be the right people walking in and falling in love.

The good news comes in the form of a new home for our father, who spent over a month in a hospital bed awaiting any port in a storm. We finally got word two weeks ago from Interior Health here in BC that they’d found him a bed in a four-man room at a local care home in Kelowna.

He seems to be adjusting to the way they run things, albeit with uncharacteristic (dementia-sparked) cantankerousness: Dad refused to get out of bed the other day when they were rousing the other residents. He’s gotten used to sleeping in until 10 am and, once the folks at the home discussed his preferences with sister Leslie, things were ironed out. They really seem to care and now Dad sleeps as long as he wants, as often as he wants.

Kind of like the way I’m living right now, if I’m honest.

We’re grateful that we’ve found a place for Dad to be cared for. His needs became too much for Leslie to handle, plus (like us) she’s changing her living arrangements and they wouldn’t have accommodated Dad’s growing care requirements. We’re also thankful that the home is near to sister Heather’s place. Her husband drops by regularly with treats and Dad’s feeling anything but neglected.

I want to share with you a small personal milestone that was marked on the weekend: I collected a five-year coin for sobriety. There was the customary cake, as those who also celebrated – whether two months or 44 years (all accumulated just one day at a time) – told their stories and enjoyed the fellowship of a lot of good people.

Rob presented me with my chip and told everyone how proud of me he is for staying sober during the hardships of the past six months. It hasn’t occurred to me to self-medicate, even in the depths of depression. I’m just so lucky to have my partner urging me on, giving me strength and being just so very tolerant and understanding. In a time when it’s so easy to slide into a bad case of the summertime blues, (for which renowned rock ‘n’ roll philosopher Eddie Cochrane reminded us there is no cure LOL) I count my blessings. And no doubt, Robbie is at the top of that list.

Have an easy week and I’ll have a new Drift with Erin Davis sleep story for you tomorrow, plus of course we’ll be back Thursday with Episode 81 of Gracefully & Frankly with Lisa Brandt. We have some fun news to share with you then – don’t miss it and a chance to get a neat little gift just for listening and sharing us with your besties.