Erin's Journals

One of things I love about this modern age in which we live (okay, and it’s also one of the things I hate) is the way in which ideas can be exchanged so easily. Yes, there are plenty of people who will post absolute garbage disguised as truth (some of them bots, of course) but sometimes, if your mind is open instead of your mouth, you can learn something, too. That was the case with me this past week.
 
On Friday, World Oceans Day, I tweeted my excitement over the news that A & W is getting rid of plastic straws by the end of the year. And I added, “You’re up, McDonalds.” The details of this Canadian company’s decision – the first in North America – include word that guests will be offered paper straws which can last up to three hours in a drink, then biodegrade in three to six months. It’s estimated the move will keep 82 million plastic straws out of landfills – and possibly oceans – annually. 
 
What’s not to love about that, right? Well, there are some significant points to be made about what’s wrong with it. I couldn’t have imagined any, but then, I got this email from the only person who took issue with my excitement over what I thought was a surefire positive move. 

Hi, Erin — 
 
I just saw your tweet in favour of A&W ditching their plastic straws and wanted to offer an alternative POV: disabled folks often need straws. My daughter, for example, has limited mobility as well as pain in her hands so we use straws at home — when they’re just used for water, we try to get at least one full day of use per straw which doesn’t minimize the eco-blight but it’s something. To balance it, I don’t use straws when I go out. Not an ideal bendy-straw offset program but again, it’s something. 
 
I’m probably not going to be the first person to flag this for you — and David Onley and Andre Picard (the Globe‘s health columnist) have posted about this on Twitter recently, too. And I hate words like “ableist” because our culture is getting too stratified and judge-y as it is. 
 
But. 
 
When you can’t lift a cup or glass, a straw gives you dignity as well as a drink. The notion of a straw ban needs to be thought through much better AND in consultation with the broad range of folks who actually need them.
 
Accessibility ain’t just about ramps! And telling people to buy stainless steel or bamboo or reusable straws made from other materials ignores the fact that having control of the bendy aspect is important to people who physically require straws to drink. There’s also the assumption that it is no big deal to a) transport a used straw home without messing up their other belongings; b) wash it effectively; c) pack it each time they go out; and d) manage the cost of reusables.
 
If people really cared about getting rid of plastics that no one needs, the first port of call should be their Keurigs and other plastic pod coffee makers. People need plastics to make instant coffee now? That guy from The Graduate must be over the moon.
 
Thanks for reading. Sorry if it got ranty. 🙂

Ms B gave me a lot to think about here. I had read some comments in response to those who want straws, that said, “just bring a stainless steel one with you.” Those are just a little flippant when I read the points that B brings up. 
 
I’ll be watching more closely now to see where this straw discussion goes. While I’m 100% in favour of cutting back our use of plastics where we can (and keeping them out of landfills as well as oceans and the bodies of their inhabitants) I hope there will be thought given to those who feel that their removal becomes just another barrier.
 
Thank you so much for the perspective, B. And to you for coming by. Tomorrow…as promised, dear ol’ Dad.
 

First of all, let me thank you for your kind words to my email, on Facebook and on Twitter yesterday. I can tell you that our Ottawa family was as touched by the public outpouring of support and kindness as we were. 
 
Of course, you and I have been together, for the most part, for such a long time now and goodness knows you’ve seen us through a lot of highs and lows. The deepest lows. The highest highs – including a wedding five years ago this month – and every possible thing in between. And here we are celebrating yet another truly happy moment. So, thank you for that.
 
We’re grateful, too, for the welcome diversion from the strife and angst in world, national and provincial politics. Of course, we have Trump cozying up to a dictator now with so many questionable motives and an even foggier outcome. Then there’s Trudeau being called ridiculous names (although the Trump advisor who said there’s a “special place in hell” apologized, and the other advisor who was on CNN Sunday had a heart attack the next day).
 
How encouraging it was, then, to see the Premier-elect of Ontario siding with Canadian workers and (even) our Liberal PM against Donald Trump, with whom Doug Ford has often been compared. To see such an encouraging, bilateral sign after a weekend of fear and misgivings on so many fronts was really surprising and heartening. Let’s hope it bodes well for the future!
 
Of course, not all parties have put the country first and there has been sniping at and about Justin Trudeau in some pretty transparent attempts at political gain. I hope voters see through them. Because now, more than ever, it’s not about who’s left or right, but who’s wrong or right. If we could all just keep that in mind, how much better off we’d be. Right, Kevin O’Leary?
 
Have a great day and we’ll be back with you here tomorrow with a perspective on a current issue that a journal reader brought to my attention. 
 
And thanks again for all of your kind words about Brooke and our family. It’s hard to feel blessed sometimes when we consider our journey to where we are now, but we know, in so very many ways, we are exactly that.
 

How lovely it is to start this Tuesday with such wonderful news! Our little family is expanding.
 
No, I’m not pregnant (although I do have a friend who conceived at our age and it has crossed my mind…hmmm…) but we are soon officially adding a daughter to our lives. Or daughter-in-law? I just don’t know what the title is for someone who is marrying your widowed son-in-law! But instead, I’ll call her Brooke (since that’s her name) and say how absolutely delighted we are that Phil proposed to her and she said “yes”.
 

 
Truthfully, Brooke has felt like family for some time now. At first, neither Brooke nor Rob and I knew how the other would react to being part of the same tight group. We need not have worried; we only had to get to know each other to see how very much in common we had – loving concern for our grandson and his dad.
 
For a young woman in her twenties, Brooke has willingly and lovingly taken on an awful lot of responsibility and done it with feistiness and grace. She’s stood up for herself when she’s needed to, but more importantly has been there to provide strength and support for Phil and for Colin when they needed it most.
 
Brooke and I both believe that Lauren helped bring her into the life of these two and we need never fear that our daughter will be forgotten. But nor do we worry that Brooke feels she has to live in Lauren’s shadow in any way! She is confident, bright and more than capable of holding her own and standing tall in her own right. Rob and I feel lucky to have her in our lives.
 
And then there’s Colin. He adores the woman he calls “Mama” and she cares for him every bit as much as if she was his tummy mummy. We have always put Colin and his happiness first (with Phil’s a close second behind our sweet boy) and we know that with Brooke in the picture, that joy and security are virtually guaranteed.
 
I say “virtually” because, of course, we know full well that life has no guarantees! But there’s another thing we also know for sure: everyone deserves to be happy. And for that – and so many other reasons – we are filled with joy to be witnessing the next wonderful chapter in the life of Phil, Colin and Brooke. We love you, Brooke. 
 
I told you it was happy news! Have a great day.
 

I was going to share with you here today some stories about my dad. Today he turns 85 years old and my sisters gathered with him yesterday in Kelowna to help him celebrate. But I’m waiting until he comes to the island and we’ll have our own party with his brother, my uncle and friend Vern. Right DAD???
 
Instead, I’ll tell you some Dad stories on Friday, when we get set for Father’s Day. Today, I want to talk about all of those who don’t make it to 85. Or 65. Or 45.
 
Last week, we were shaken with news of the deaths of two people whose names we know: designer Kate Spade and travel and food writer, raconteur and TV host Anthony Bourdain. Both of these well-loved and respected Americans took their own lives. Both appeared to have everything they could possibly want: money, fame, happiness. How could they possibly want to leave this world?
 
If that’s a question that crossed your mind – and for most people it did – ask yourself this: have you ever said, “she had everything to live for! How could she ever get cancer?” Of course not. Cancer doesn’t discriminate among skin colours or care what your zip or postal code is. Cancer doesn’t check to see if you have a billion dollars in your bank account or a loving partner or children or millions of fans around the world. Cancer doesn’t care.
 
And neither does mental illness. We have to stop equating depression with something that can be chosen. We have to stop telling people who are depressed how they should feel, how they need to tally up everything that’s worth living for, how they have to count their blessings. It just doesn’t work that way – especially if everything inside is telling them that the world, including those who love them, would be better off without them in it. 
 
Someone I follow on Twitter – check that, followed – made an asinine comment about suicide and heaven and more judgmental garbage on Friday. I let him have it and then blocked him. All the while, a blog by John Pavlovitz echoed in my mind.
 
I had shared it last week with a fellow bereaved mother whose son took his own life earlier this year after a lifelong battle with depression and mental illness. Then, on Friday, she wrote to me in desperation about the proliferation of mental illness and how she wished there was an MRI, a cat scan, some kind of way of detecting this. She’s so right. Please read this piece by John Pavlovitz about suicide and how we need to do judge less and help more. (He’s an excellent follow on Twitter, too.)
 
I’m sorry to start your week on this note – forgive me – but I just had to share what’s in my heart. I know it’s on a lot of people’s minds and I can only hope that talking about it will empower more people to seek help instead of suffering in silence and then saying good-bye far, far too soon. Have a gentle Monday.
 

 
Happy Friday! I told you that today’s journal would be a diversion from the angst of the latest Ontario election season, and I’m keeping that promise. I can’t lie: I gasped when I checked the news on my phone after seeing Ocean’s 8. But it didn’t affect my thoughts on it, and my main criterion: would I recommend it to you? So, here we go.
 
Featuring an all-star cast, including Sandra Bullock (as Danny Ocean’s sister Debbie), Cate Blanchett, Sarah Paulson, Rihanna, Anne Hathaway, Awkwafina and Helena Bonham Carter, this movie had me hooked with its trailer months ago. So when I saw we had a chance to catch it a day before its official opening today, I leapt. 
 
Basically, it’s about a team of thieves who set their sights on a $150 million necklace during the glamorous Met Gala. (There’s some boyfriend backstory, too, thrown in for good measure.) Produced by the original director of the Ocean’s trilogy, Steven Soderbergh, Ocean’s 8 is directed this time around by Gary Ross of The Hunger Games fame, so it certainly has the fingerprints of the original testosterone-coated Ocean’s films. What it’s missing is the excitement.
 
Although Anne Hathaway’s high-strung actress role is a gem and former Les Mis castmate Helena Bonham Carter stands out in a few spots, too (as she always does), I wouldn’t classify 8 as a comedy. Sure, there were a few laughs early on – the Bullock goes “shopping” scene is memorable – but it sets you up to hope for more.
 
Maybe this should be a thriller of a movie, thanks to the heist plot, but it just…isn’t. There are moments where you think, Oh, here we go! but it doesn’t really rev high enough to change gears. Not once did I feel like we were kicking into high speed. It was all just kind of planned, the pieces put into place and then…well, I won’t spoil anything for you. (It does have a couple of clever plot twists towards the end.)
 
Was it a good movie? Sure – good enough. Light and breezy summer fare, certainly, (and plenty of eye candy at the Met Gala itself, from a fashion-and-star-gazing perspective) but not nearly as funny as, say, The Book Club.
 
Yes, Ocean’s 8 will open at number one this weekend and I get that. But I just wish it could have lived up to its trailer, or even its potential. With a cast and a franchise like this, a summer breeze should have been a sizzler.
 
Have a great weekend and I’ll be back with you here on Monday.