Erin's Journals

Here it is, June 7th: a day that is sure to usher in big change in my old stomping grounds of Ontario, just as we’ve seen here in BC since we arrived. (I’ve no doubt the same people who blamed us for bringing snow also wondered if we didn’t pack with us the whole coalition government idea, too.)
 
The polls leading up to today’s vote have been interesting to watch, to say the least; now it’s time to learn if the polls are accurate or, as in the case of the last US election, voters say one thing to pollsters and something else in the voting booth. Of course, here in Canada we can (hopefully) rest assured that there isn’t tampering by outside forces on those voting processes. But honestly, who knows any more? 
 
While we keep track on Twitter of the election results, we’ll also keep one eye on the hockey game as we get closer to the end of a pretty amazing playoff season. My hopes are with Las Vegas, only because of the Cinderella story of a franchise that was just formed with a bunch of – if you’ll pardon me – rejects from other teams and they’ve gone all the way to the finals. First time that’s ever happened in a team’s debut year.
 
Then you have the Washington Capitals and Ovie finally getting a chance to win a Stanley Cup ring. He’s about the only big Russian in Washington not to be on Mueller’s radar and it would be wonderful to see him cap off (no pun intended) a stellar career with the game’s highest honour. We’ll see.
 
What’s great about watching this series is that we have no skin in it, Rob and I. We are just observing for the joy of seeing good hockey and the fun of the drama, the pre-game festivities and all of that. It’s a relief not to feel such pain or joy every single game, as we did when Toronto was in the playoffs what seems like months and months ago.
 
Fortunately, we’ve started divorcing ourselves from the plight of the Blue Jays these days, too. Between injuries and arrest, it’s been just a horrible year already for this team. A promising April (better than last year’s) bowed down to a terrible May with not one back-to-back win – a fate they’d not had to endure since the late 1970s when the team was still in its infancy. What gives, guys? 
 
Luckily we bought just one game’s tickets for our visit to Oakland, California in late July/early August. Unlike last year, when we had the time of our lives watching the Jays in Seattle, we’re just going to go and hope for the best while enjoying the experience of seeing a ball game in a new park. They say it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, but sometimes it’s just sort of easier to sit on the sidelines and take things in for what they are: simple diversions. 
 
Good luck today and tonight, my Ontario friend. I’ll have a diversion of my own to share here tomorrow – a review of the brand new movie Oceans 8 for you.
 

 
So, a little while back I posted a picture on Instagram and Facebook of my DQ ice cream with a seascape backdrop. It got a lot of comments, many of them saying you’d just had your first DQ of the year, too. There’s something so special about that experience – the first of any season’s traditions. Now, I haven’t yet had my first Timmie’s Iced Capp and on this Camp Day, they’re top of mind for sure as I remember all of those mornings we did shows from the drive-thru at Tim Hortons.
 
Like a Timmie’s Iced Capp (250 calories for a small; 290 calories for a small mocha), I keep it to just a few per summer. I wish I could just drink them with abandon, but I know how fast those numbers add up and I also remember how shocked Lauren was when she saw what happened to her weight with all of the free drinks she got working at Starbucks!
 
It’s astounding how many calories those beverages we all love, or used to love, are packing. Yes, there are ways around them and special requests you can make (if you have some – add them to my Facebook post today and let us all know what we can order to lessen the numbers if that’s what we’re looking to do) but boy, talk about dangerous!
 
Counting calories (and fat and sugar grams – all of those numbers) is a pain, but it works. It totally works. A friend at lunch last week photographed her meal so that she’d remember to keep track of it later; I use myfitnesspal to stay on pace daily and I’m now down 22-1/2 pounds since last November.
 
Granted, I am coupling the counting with increased activity: Rob and I walk 10,000 steps or more three or four days a week and get as close as we can to that target all of the others. One of my favourite tricks is to get up and walk every time I’m on a phone call that’s going to be more than just two minutes. Got to 15,000 steps one night last week thanks to that one!
 
Anyway, I looked up the calories on the little cone I got from DQ to kick off summer a little early and was disappointed to see that it was 230. Why can’t they offer a “lighter” version? I’ve already given up on peanut buster parfaits (although you can get them to add a few peanuts to a small chocolate sundae if you want), but why does a cone have to be such a sin? 
 
Some people complained about the calories appearing on menus, when the practice began, as the sign of a “nanny state” or stupid reminders when all you want to do is eat what you want, but I’m a huge fan. When I’m making a decision knowing how many calories a day I’m going to allow myself, I want to choose what’s going to be satisfying the longest without feeling like I’ve sabotaged myself.
 
Information is power and I just want to make what I hope is a wise choice. Whether that’s at home with my app, my digital scale and measuring cup or out for the rare stop at a fast food joint when we’re on the road (or craving ice cream or to do good with Tim Hortons Camp Day today), I’m glad to have any info I can get my hand on – before it goes into my mouth.
 
Have a great day and don’t forget that even if you don’t buy at Tim’s today, maybe make a donation to change kids’ lives with a trip to camp. This was always such a fun day and a great chance to say “hi” to you in person. Enjoy.
 

I told you here yesterday of my shower “A-ha” moment (and it had nothing to do with getting minty shampoo where it shouldn’t go, although that’s happened). Last week as I was going through the one of the final edits of my book, taking care of legal requests that I get permission to mention this or that, I was ready just to delete a part of the book that meant a lot to me. In her “Homage to Age and Femininity,” published in O magazine, American novelist Anne Lamott summed up our lives and our future beautifully:

You will lose someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.

I thought it was so perfect: dancing with a limp. I couldn’t describe our lives better than Anne did right there and wanted to include that excerpt in my book. But, of course, it was flagged by the legal department at HarperCollins as needing permission (even though we credited the publication, etc.). If you ever wonder why a book is $30 it’s because the team that works on it is huge. It takes a village, that’s for sure!
 
So, with the deadline looming and hardly a prayer it would work, I just threw it out there on Twitter: 
 

 
I put that out on Saturday. The next morning, I awoke to a tweet that made me yelp; I’m sure Rob thought the coffee was too hot or something. Here’s what it said: 
 

 
How incredible and generous is that? We’re so thrilled. Just because I asked.
 
That gave me the courage to leave a voicemail and to email a Texas lawyer who wrote a book that inspired me well over a decade ago. Titled A Thinking Person’s Guide to Sobriety, it offered perspectives I’d never considered at the time, and I often still do. Even though years back I sent a “fan email” to Bert Pluymen and didn’t hear back (not that I expected to) I decided to give it a shot. I called and wrote seeking permission to include information about his book. He wrote back the same evening with a big yes: 

You absolutely have permission to do what you propose in the manner you describe. I admire your passion and perseverance in bringing your book project to fruition and look forward to reading it. 
 
Kindest regards, Bert Pluymen.

See, once again, all you have to do is ask. We’ve been so blessed all the way along here and learning new lessons as we go. The biggest one out of these exchanges? The incredible power of those three little letters: Y-E-S.
 
Talk to you here tomorrow. Yes?
 

I hope you had a great weekend! Something happened here that serves to remind me – and hopefully you – of the goodness in people and the power of just asking. Sometimes the answer is “no” but you have to believe that they will be outweighed by affirmative replies.
 
The toughest request I ever had (and occasionally still do receive, believe it or not) was to give my opinion on someone’s music. Because I hosted a music-based radio show for so many years, there may have been the misconception that I had a say in what or whom we played, or that somehow I could further the career of a newcomer. Many times, I was sent links or even CDs of people – young and not-so-young – seeking my opinion of their work and even help in getting it aired.
 
These were the pre-YouTube days when you did whatever you could to get your songs some airplay. I would always tell people that it simply wasn’t my place to judge their art and that I wished them every success following the regular channels at the time.
 
The way I understood it, a record label representative would meet with the station’s music director and they’d discuss whether or not the song would have the chance to get on the station. But then there would be listener polls or even focus groups and they, too, would determine if the song got played. If anyone still has the idea that a host just hears a song, likes it and puts it on the air, that is indeed the rarest of rarities and the stuff of old movies! So there’s a little behind-the-scenes insight for you.
 
My point is this: I know how uncomfortable I felt getting requests to weigh in on someone’s work because of the awkward position it put me in. So it makes it doubly hard for me to ask someone whom I respect greatly as an author to read my upcoming book (now in its final edit stage) and perhaps offer a blurb for it. But that’s what I’ve done. 
 
The idea struck me when some of my best ones hit: in the shower. (Maybe it’s the lack of distraction?) Anyway, it came to me that I should contact Wayson Choy, respected and best-selling Canadian author of Jade Peony, Paper Shadows, Not Yet and All That Matters.
 

 
A mutual friend, Betty Thiessen (who passed away two years ago), introduced Rob, Lauren and me to the author. Wayson taught Betty in a writing class and they developed a close friendship as Betty eventually aided Wayson; she was credited in at least two of his books. Betty was a staunch supporter of ours, too, and would have guided me through this writing process over the last 18 months. Who knows, perhaps she still does…
 
I wrote to Wayson, asking if he could possibly give my book a read and offer a comment on it. I didn’t dare ask for his input or any advice while the book was being written; I respect his time and his talent far too much to seek his aid in my own nascent writing efforts. Besides, I have had the gentle, firm and knowledgeable hands of three amazing women at HarperCollins to guide me.
 
I told Wayson I understood if he was busy, if he just simply had a “no thanks” policy where this sort of thing is concerned, or if he couldn’t comment on a competing publisher’s book. I offered him every out there was. But I needn’t have worried!
 
Wayson wrote me back immediately, saying he’d awakened to Betty’s smile at 2:00 am only a few days earlier. (She guides him, too, I suspect.) He is offering not only to read Mourning Has Broken but to offer feedback on the book. And so, here we go. We’re still nine months away from publication but we’re soon to hold the first paper copy of this book in our hands for one final read. How lucky we are that so many hands have held ours as we get to this point!
 
Tomorrow: two more instances of hearing a “yes” when I thought I shouldn’t dare ask.
 

Today marks the beginning of a month, but also the end of a longtime relationship between morning TV viewers and their favourite host. I’d like to tell you a little bit about my experience with Kevin Frankish, who today is doing his last Breakfast Television show with Dina, Frank, Winston and the morning show family at City in Toronto.
 

 
Over the 30+ years I’ve spent in radio (and some television) I’ve met and worked with a lot of people from the TV side of the media business. As in any form of “show biz,” including radio, there are egos galore and plenty of people who are not at all how they present themselves when the red light is on. 
 
Kevin Frankish is the real deal.
 
His professionalism is only surpassed by his compassion. He has an innate sense of what makes good television, witnessed daily on City, but really put in the bright spotlight when he hosts the Easter Seals Telethon annually for CBC. Since the passing of Royal Canadian Air Farce host Roger Abbott and the retirement from the fundraiser of castmate Don Ferguson, the show was in need of someone who embodied the goodness, the drive, the energy and integrity of Easter Seals.
 
I was always delighted to work with Kevin in any capacity, but was in true awe of his abilities to spark excitement, get phones ringing and build a real sense of teamwork among everyone on the crowded telethon set. His enthusiasm is real; his love for what he does is palpable. 
 

 

 
Kevin is as honest as he is entertaining and shared openly his bouts with depression and anxiety. More than anyone I know, he has worked to remove the stigma of mental health issues and that transparency is further proof of his selflessness and interest in the greater good.
 
But in being that open, Kevin did something else that is rare these days: he invited viewers into his life. He let them know that television does not have to be a one-way medium. He made people feel they were as important to him as he is to them.
 
Today will undoubtedly feel like a family is splitting up. My heart goes out to Kevin as well as to the rest of the Breakfast Television crew, especially Dina, for whom I also have the utmost love and respect as a performer and a human. Finding a dance partner is easy. Finding one you love and respect and play off like a sister/brother act is nearly impossible. I wish her luck in finding that next great partner. 
 
City assures viewers that Kevin will be working on a documentary series on the network to air in prime time. He’s a marvelous storyteller and has a genuinely curious mind and adventurous heart. Kevin’s Twitter account describes him as “A 54-year-old man about to reinvent himself” and I can’t wait to see how he does that.
 
Someone whose birthday is March 4th can’t help but take big steps forward into the future, and with his sweetheart, wife Beth by his side, I’m sure the adjustment to sleeping in, not travelling the 400 at all hours between Barrie and Toronto, and easing into a more gentle lifestyle will be as rewarding as the last nearly 40 years in media. 
 
In an exchange on Wednesday, I offered them a place to stay if they want to explore Canada’s west. I hope they’ll take us up on it. And I’ll share with him the joys of reWirement: finding peace and fulfillment and new challenges in ways they cannot even picture right now.
 
I love the quote that opens today’s journal. Here’s to new beginnings, Kevin – good luck and bon voyage, my friend.