Erin's Journals

This Sunday is Father’s Day – but, of course, you knew that! And we hope that if your dad is still with you, you get a chance to tell him what he means to you. This week, we get two chances. 
 

 
My dad turned 85 on Monday of this week. He’s in great health and spirits and we count our blessings every day. He has a lady friend who adores him (and to whom he reads every night as part of their loving ritual) and is a happy man.
 
Rare is the day you won’t catch my father singing to himself or taking at least an hour to go into his room and practise his saxophone. These days, he’s encouraging the budding musicianship in his granddaughter Ava, making sure she gets to her clarinet lessons and keeps up on her own practising. He’s all about music – it’s in his soul.
 
Dad’s always had a cheery demeanor and was the sunny yin to my mom’s often darker yang. (Just this week when people at his seniors’ residence asked if he was having a happy birthday he said, “Well, I’m still getting over the trauma of that umbilical cord cutting 85 years ago!”) He has always set a great example for his daughters and even showed that you can change lanes midway through your career – belying his own advice to us earlier on.
 
I remember my dad saying, “Find a good rut and get comfortable – you’re in it a long time.” I even repeated that advice the first time I gave a convocation address at my alma mater, Loyalist College (giving credit to Dad, of course). But the second time I addressed grads, my tune had changed – and so had my father’s.
 
After over 25 years in the Armed Forces, Dad went from squadron leader in Trenton to desk jockey in Ottawa and it didn’t suit him. So he took a big chance and transferred to an address on “civvy street” becoming a civilian pilot, then chief pilot with Ontario Worldair and then Worldways (both defunct). Dad was living proof that you don’t have to stay in that one rut, no matter how comfortable (or secure) it is. He knew there was more to life than pushing paper and he pursued it.
 
Like so many people our age, my sisters and I have all embarked on big changes at times in our careers when we could well have stayed “comfortable” and stayed put. One sister left a successful career in sales to pursue a simpler life; another left her job, where she blazed trails as a woman in the military, to become a highly sought-after gemologist and bandleader/arranger. We’ve all strayed from the lanes we were in when our journeys began and become better people because of it.
 
Dads are great at telling us how to live – it’s sort of part of the job description – but the best ones show us how to do it by the way they themselves live. How to be honourable and valuable contributors to society. How to face challenges with a stiff spine and a ready laugh. Hopefully, how to make the world a better place simply by being a part of it. 
 
That’s my dad, and I love him for all he’s given me (including my chin and my curls). May you always be as happy as you’ve made us, Dad.
 
Happy Father’s Day – I’ll talk to you here on Monday.
 

One of things I love about this modern age in which we live (okay, and it’s also one of the things I hate) is the way in which ideas can be exchanged so easily. Yes, there are plenty of people who will post absolute garbage disguised as truth (some of them bots, of course) but sometimes, if your mind is open instead of your mouth, you can learn something, too. That was the case with me this past week.
 
On Friday, World Oceans Day, I tweeted my excitement over the news that A & W is getting rid of plastic straws by the end of the year. And I added, “You’re up, McDonalds.” The details of this Canadian company’s decision – the first in North America – include word that guests will be offered paper straws which can last up to three hours in a drink, then biodegrade in three to six months. It’s estimated the move will keep 82 million plastic straws out of landfills – and possibly oceans – annually. 
 
What’s not to love about that, right? Well, there are some significant points to be made about what’s wrong with it. I couldn’t have imagined any, but then, I got this email from the only person who took issue with my excitement over what I thought was a surefire positive move. 

Hi, Erin — 
 
I just saw your tweet in favour of A&W ditching their plastic straws and wanted to offer an alternative POV: disabled folks often need straws. My daughter, for example, has limited mobility as well as pain in her hands so we use straws at home — when they’re just used for water, we try to get at least one full day of use per straw which doesn’t minimize the eco-blight but it’s something. To balance it, I don’t use straws when I go out. Not an ideal bendy-straw offset program but again, it’s something. 
 
I’m probably not going to be the first person to flag this for you — and David Onley and Andre Picard (the Globe‘s health columnist) have posted about this on Twitter recently, too. And I hate words like “ableist” because our culture is getting too stratified and judge-y as it is. 
 
But. 
 
When you can’t lift a cup or glass, a straw gives you dignity as well as a drink. The notion of a straw ban needs to be thought through much better AND in consultation with the broad range of folks who actually need them.
 
Accessibility ain’t just about ramps! And telling people to buy stainless steel or bamboo or reusable straws made from other materials ignores the fact that having control of the bendy aspect is important to people who physically require straws to drink. There’s also the assumption that it is no big deal to a) transport a used straw home without messing up their other belongings; b) wash it effectively; c) pack it each time they go out; and d) manage the cost of reusables.
 
If people really cared about getting rid of plastics that no one needs, the first port of call should be their Keurigs and other plastic pod coffee makers. People need plastics to make instant coffee now? That guy from The Graduate must be over the moon.
 
Thanks for reading. Sorry if it got ranty. 🙂

Ms B gave me a lot to think about here. I had read some comments in response to those who want straws, that said, “just bring a stainless steel one with you.” Those are just a little flippant when I read the points that B brings up. 
 
I’ll be watching more closely now to see where this straw discussion goes. While I’m 100% in favour of cutting back our use of plastics where we can (and keeping them out of landfills as well as oceans and the bodies of their inhabitants) I hope there will be thought given to those who feel that their removal becomes just another barrier.
 
Thank you so much for the perspective, B. And to you for coming by. Tomorrow…as promised, dear ol’ Dad.
 

First of all, let me thank you for your kind words to my email, on Facebook and on Twitter yesterday. I can tell you that our Ottawa family was as touched by the public outpouring of support and kindness as we were. 
 
Of course, you and I have been together, for the most part, for such a long time now and goodness knows you’ve seen us through a lot of highs and lows. The deepest lows. The highest highs – including a wedding five years ago this month – and every possible thing in between. And here we are celebrating yet another truly happy moment. So, thank you for that.
 
We’re grateful, too, for the welcome diversion from the strife and angst in world, national and provincial politics. Of course, we have Trump cozying up to a dictator now with so many questionable motives and an even foggier outcome. Then there’s Trudeau being called ridiculous names (although the Trump advisor who said there’s a “special place in hell” apologized, and the other advisor who was on CNN Sunday had a heart attack the next day).
 
How encouraging it was, then, to see the Premier-elect of Ontario siding with Canadian workers and (even) our Liberal PM against Donald Trump, with whom Doug Ford has often been compared. To see such an encouraging, bilateral sign after a weekend of fear and misgivings on so many fronts was really surprising and heartening. Let’s hope it bodes well for the future!
 
Of course, not all parties have put the country first and there has been sniping at and about Justin Trudeau in some pretty transparent attempts at political gain. I hope voters see through them. Because now, more than ever, it’s not about who’s left or right, but who’s wrong or right. If we could all just keep that in mind, how much better off we’d be. Right, Kevin O’Leary?
 
Have a great day and we’ll be back with you here tomorrow with a perspective on a current issue that a journal reader brought to my attention. 
 
And thanks again for all of your kind words about Brooke and our family. It’s hard to feel blessed sometimes when we consider our journey to where we are now, but we know, in so very many ways, we are exactly that.
 

How lovely it is to start this Tuesday with such wonderful news! Our little family is expanding.
 
No, I’m not pregnant (although I do have a friend who conceived at our age and it has crossed my mind…hmmm…) but we are soon officially adding a daughter to our lives. Or daughter-in-law? I just don’t know what the title is for someone who is marrying your widowed son-in-law! But instead, I’ll call her Brooke (since that’s her name) and say how absolutely delighted we are that Phil proposed to her and she said “yes”.
 

 
Truthfully, Brooke has felt like family for some time now. At first, neither Brooke nor Rob and I knew how the other would react to being part of the same tight group. We need not have worried; we only had to get to know each other to see how very much in common we had – loving concern for our grandson and his dad.
 
For a young woman in her twenties, Brooke has willingly and lovingly taken on an awful lot of responsibility and done it with feistiness and grace. She’s stood up for herself when she’s needed to, but more importantly has been there to provide strength and support for Phil and for Colin when they needed it most.
 
Brooke and I both believe that Lauren helped bring her into the life of these two and we need never fear that our daughter will be forgotten. But nor do we worry that Brooke feels she has to live in Lauren’s shadow in any way! She is confident, bright and more than capable of holding her own and standing tall in her own right. Rob and I feel lucky to have her in our lives.
 
And then there’s Colin. He adores the woman he calls “Mama” and she cares for him every bit as much as if she was his tummy mummy. We have always put Colin and his happiness first (with Phil’s a close second behind our sweet boy) and we know that with Brooke in the picture, that joy and security are virtually guaranteed.
 
I say “virtually” because, of course, we know full well that life has no guarantees! But there’s another thing we also know for sure: everyone deserves to be happy. And for that – and so many other reasons – we are filled with joy to be witnessing the next wonderful chapter in the life of Phil, Colin and Brooke. We love you, Brooke. 
 
I told you it was happy news! Have a great day.