Erin's Journals

I hope you had a great weekend! Something happened here that serves to remind me – and hopefully you – of the goodness in people and the power of just asking. Sometimes the answer is “no” but you have to believe that they will be outweighed by affirmative replies.
 
The toughest request I ever had (and occasionally still do receive, believe it or not) was to give my opinion on someone’s music. Because I hosted a music-based radio show for so many years, there may have been the misconception that I had a say in what or whom we played, or that somehow I could further the career of a newcomer. Many times, I was sent links or even CDs of people – young and not-so-young – seeking my opinion of their work and even help in getting it aired.
 
These were the pre-YouTube days when you did whatever you could to get your songs some airplay. I would always tell people that it simply wasn’t my place to judge their art and that I wished them every success following the regular channels at the time.
 
The way I understood it, a record label representative would meet with the station’s music director and they’d discuss whether or not the song would have the chance to get on the station. But then there would be listener polls or even focus groups and they, too, would determine if the song got played. If anyone still has the idea that a host just hears a song, likes it and puts it on the air, that is indeed the rarest of rarities and the stuff of old movies! So there’s a little behind-the-scenes insight for you.
 
My point is this: I know how uncomfortable I felt getting requests to weigh in on someone’s work because of the awkward position it put me in. So it makes it doubly hard for me to ask someone whom I respect greatly as an author to read my upcoming book (now in its final edit stage) and perhaps offer a blurb for it. But that’s what I’ve done. 
 
The idea struck me when some of my best ones hit: in the shower. (Maybe it’s the lack of distraction?) Anyway, it came to me that I should contact Wayson Choy, respected and best-selling Canadian author of Jade Peony, Paper Shadows, Not Yet and All That Matters.
 

 
A mutual friend, Betty Thiessen (who passed away two years ago), introduced Rob, Lauren and me to the author. Wayson taught Betty in a writing class and they developed a close friendship as Betty eventually aided Wayson; she was credited in at least two of his books. Betty was a staunch supporter of ours, too, and would have guided me through this writing process over the last 18 months. Who knows, perhaps she still does…
 
I wrote to Wayson, asking if he could possibly give my book a read and offer a comment on it. I didn’t dare ask for his input or any advice while the book was being written; I respect his time and his talent far too much to seek his aid in my own nascent writing efforts. Besides, I have had the gentle, firm and knowledgeable hands of three amazing women at HarperCollins to guide me.
 
I told Wayson I understood if he was busy, if he just simply had a “no thanks” policy where this sort of thing is concerned, or if he couldn’t comment on a competing publisher’s book. I offered him every out there was. But I needn’t have worried!
 
Wayson wrote me back immediately, saying he’d awakened to Betty’s smile at 2:00 am only a few days earlier. (She guides him, too, I suspect.) He is offering not only to read Mourning Has Broken but to offer feedback on the book. And so, here we go. We’re still nine months away from publication but we’re soon to hold the first paper copy of this book in our hands for one final read. How lucky we are that so many hands have held ours as we get to this point!
 
Tomorrow: two more instances of hearing a “yes” when I thought I shouldn’t dare ask.
 

Today marks the beginning of a month, but also the end of a longtime relationship between morning TV viewers and their favourite host. I’d like to tell you a little bit about my experience with Kevin Frankish, who today is doing his last Breakfast Television show with Dina, Frank, Winston and the morning show family at City in Toronto.
 

 
Over the 30+ years I’ve spent in radio (and some television) I’ve met and worked with a lot of people from the TV side of the media business. As in any form of “show biz,” including radio, there are egos galore and plenty of people who are not at all how they present themselves when the red light is on. 
 
Kevin Frankish is the real deal.
 
His professionalism is only surpassed by his compassion. He has an innate sense of what makes good television, witnessed daily on City, but really put in the bright spotlight when he hosts the Easter Seals Telethon annually for CBC. Since the passing of Royal Canadian Air Farce host Roger Abbott and the retirement from the fundraiser of castmate Don Ferguson, the show was in need of someone who embodied the goodness, the drive, the energy and integrity of Easter Seals.
 
I was always delighted to work with Kevin in any capacity, but was in true awe of his abilities to spark excitement, get phones ringing and build a real sense of teamwork among everyone on the crowded telethon set. His enthusiasm is real; his love for what he does is palpable. 
 

 

 
Kevin is as honest as he is entertaining and shared openly his bouts with depression and anxiety. More than anyone I know, he has worked to remove the stigma of mental health issues and that transparency is further proof of his selflessness and interest in the greater good.
 
But in being that open, Kevin did something else that is rare these days: he invited viewers into his life. He let them know that television does not have to be a one-way medium. He made people feel they were as important to him as he is to them.
 
Today will undoubtedly feel like a family is splitting up. My heart goes out to Kevin as well as to the rest of the Breakfast Television crew, especially Dina, for whom I also have the utmost love and respect as a performer and a human. Finding a dance partner is easy. Finding one you love and respect and play off like a sister/brother act is nearly impossible. I wish her luck in finding that next great partner. 
 
City assures viewers that Kevin will be working on a documentary series on the network to air in prime time. He’s a marvelous storyteller and has a genuinely curious mind and adventurous heart. Kevin’s Twitter account describes him as “A 54-year-old man about to reinvent himself” and I can’t wait to see how he does that.
 
Someone whose birthday is March 4th can’t help but take big steps forward into the future, and with his sweetheart, wife Beth by his side, I’m sure the adjustment to sleeping in, not travelling the 400 at all hours between Barrie and Toronto, and easing into a more gentle lifestyle will be as rewarding as the last nearly 40 years in media. 
 
In an exchange on Wednesday, I offered them a place to stay if they want to explore Canada’s west. I hope they’ll take us up on it. And I’ll share with him the joys of reWirement: finding peace and fulfillment and new challenges in ways they cannot even picture right now.
 
I love the quote that opens today’s journal. Here’s to new beginnings, Kevin – good luck and bon voyage, my friend.
 

Part of the reason we were on the mainland last week was to help my sister Cindy in Summerland, BC as she prepares for a huge garage/yard/driveway sale this weekend. But it was ads for larger ticket items, like a piano, on sites like Kijiji and Used Kelowna that made me aware of a scam so sophisticated that it took an online search to figure out just what the crooks’ game is. Here’s how it works. 
 
Cindy gets an email or text that looks like this – awful grammar and all:  

Thanks for your mail back, I am ready to make a quick purchase, kindly consider it sold and cancel every other appointment regarding it, please get back to me with your final asking price, sorry I won’t be available to come do cash and carry, anyway distance is not an issue, I will be responsible for the pickup agent money and every other charges attached to it, kindly send me your PayPal email address and your full name so I can proceed on making the payment transfer to you… Thanks

By the time the fourth or fifth such response came in, Cindy was familiar with the scam. One of them claimed to want to buy the beautiful Yamaha Clavinova for a co-worker as a surprise. (Some co-worker, huh?) Another responded to Cindy when she said she wouldn’t do PayPal with a very aggressive push for her to use the system, along with a link to sign up. Ah, but that link, had she followed it, would have taken her to a fake site that would have then taken and used her financial information, had she given it. So, again, she didn’t go there.
 
The other two scams at work here – such as the one alluded to in the response above – are outlined on a site I found. Read how this rip-off works according to consumer.ftc.gov in the US. 

Scenario Two: “Check your email!” The buyer claims he has sent payment to your PayPal account with additional funds so you can ship the merchandise ASAP, but oops, he sent too much money. He asks you to return the extra money via a money wiring service. It’s all a lie, including the extra money the buyer says he included.
 
What should you do? Log into your PayPal account. Make sure you’ve been paid before you ship. Never follow links in emails from people you don’t know. The safest approach is to open a browser window, navigate to PayPal.com, and log in yourself. Also, if the buyer claims to have sent extra money, and asks for some back, that’s a big red flag.
 
Scenario Three: The buyer sends you real money through a real PayPal account, and you ship him the car. Problem is, the PayPal account belongs to someone else! You might need to return the money even though the scammer has your wheels.

…or in Cindy’s case, the piano. The first red flag is the bad grammar and spelling, as is so often the case when someone is trying to fleece you, whether it’s to send money to a Nigerian prince or pretending to know you for some other nefarious reason.
 
This one was new to us (although the info above was posted in 2014). I thought I’d share it with you as something to be aware of if you (or anyone you know) are trying to sell something online. The old “too good to be true” line just screams out the truth, doesn’t it? Pass this one on today – the final day of Scams Awareness Month. (True!) 
 

Well, after the drama of the last two days’ journals, I thought today I’d share with you an actual scripted comedy that we took in last week. And do you know what? I did something I don’t think I have ever done since getting into radio thirty-some years ago: I saw a film without reading one single review beforehand. 
 
We saw a trailer for Book Club last winter when we went to Phantom Thread. Thread was the last film we saw before the Oscars – last big screen movie, period, actually – and I was dying, not only for some theatre popcorn, but to see a movie that is not all CGI and superheroes (as good as those are, I know). 
 
When our pals Nancy and Charles from nearby Sidney suggested a matinee in the tiny town, we said, “Sure!” and off we went. What a surprise on a sunny and 17 C day to find the theatre packed! I guess word had travelled that it was a lighthearted comedy and we weren’t the only ones looking for just that kind of movie.
 
In case you haven’t heard of it, Book Club stars four well-known comedic actresses, all north of 60 years in age. Jane Fonda, Candice Bergen, Mary Steenburgen and Diane Keaton portray a group of friends who are (with one exception) single. One is a serial dater who won’t commit, one is married to her high-profile job and never goes out after a failed marriage years earlier, another is a widow of just one year, while the fourth is in a stale thirty-year union.
 
When the spiciest of these girls (Fonda) chooses the Fifty Shades series for the next book club selection, all of a sudden, eyes are opened and imaginations are sparked. Bow-chicka-wow-wow…
 

 

 
There were plenty of laughs during the film (one especially saucy sequence is due to the uprising that occurs when a wife spikes hubby’s beer with Viagra) but there are moments of tenderness too. Four terrifically entertaining actresses (plus Don Johnson, Ed Begley Jr., Andy Garcia and Richard Dreyfuss as various partners to this dynamic quartet) more than deliver on a witty script.
 
It’s sassy, wine-soaked and just a fun movie with a great soundtrack – from Tom Petty, Bob Dylan and Paul Simon to Meghan Trainor and Katherine McPhee. You know, sometimes a bit of fun is all you need. After all, Phantom Thread gave me enough angst to last for months. Don’t expect to see The Book Club at the Oscars next year (unless the Carole Bayer-Sager co-written closing theme is nominated) but that’s why it was a summer release. 
 
And okay – I just looked up a review. On EW.com, Entertainment Weekly gives it a B and calls it: “Salty and silly and still crazy, after all these years.” I couldn’t agree more. Like a good book, this movie is just hard to put down.
 
Tomorrow: a huge PayPal scam hits home for one of my sisters.
 

Let’s catch you up on yesterday’s journal: I had just been announced to the stage at the Monteo Resort in gorgeous Kelowna BC. I was delivering my keynote address called “Transformation: When You’re Strong Because You Have No Choice” to a freshly caffeinated group of BC Broadcasters – radio and television.
 
It was about one minute before that introduction that I asked Rob for my iPad, to which I would refer while traversing the stage for the next half hour. I needed that device, or a script of some kind, as there were some 90 pictures that had been choreographed to go with the speech. So I didn’t want to miss cueing Rob. But he’d just realized we had left the iPad in the room. So what was I to do? 
 
Without a word of a lie, I spoke for ten (or was it 12?) minutes – walking, talking, just filling – telling everyone about the early years of my career, why Kelowna is special to my family…and so on. 
 
And on. 
 
I kept joking about divorce and awaiting that iPad. It occurred to me to think, Just be real. They’ll understand that things happen and something has happened. Don’t try to pretend that everything is just fine. Be yourself. I can tell you about those thoughts because it was an out-of-body experience: one I’ve had before – in my dreams. This is the nightmare a public speaker has: you’re in front of an audience and have no prepared notes.
 
Now, people seemed to be on my side, very kindly listening in a friendly way, but I knew that I was finally running out of things to talk about. After all, I couldn’t give away any of the elements of my speech! Just as my former boss, Julie Adam, spoke up and helpfully offered, “Hey, why not call for a two minute break?” – a wonderful idea – Rob burst into the room. To a warm round of applause, he came to the stage, got on bended knee and handed me the iPad. I laughed, took a sip of water and began.
 
On with the show.
 
It wasn’t until afterwards that I learned the confluence of mess-ups that had to happen to make my “work nightmare” come true. 
 
1. The iPad: 
It was only the second time I’d used the iPad instead of a print script. I’d always worried about the possibility of problems when relying on a tablet, but after the success we had with the speech in Ottawa just a month ago, it didn’t even occur to me to have a printed paper version. That will change. All of that. And if you wonder why I need a script when it’s our life story, it’s because, with that number of pictures, there are cues to hit. And I had to get every single one right!
 
2. The hotel elevator:
Just one elevator. And a slow one. So Rob decided to run up the stairs outside the hotel from the pool area on up to the third floor. 
 
3. The room key:
When he arrived at our floor, the key wouldn’t open the door from the outside staircase to the hallway. He ran back down those three flights, ran to the front desk and asked where the other outside stairs were. They pointed to the opposite end of the hotel and off he ran.
 
He took the stairs up two at a time, arriving at the third floor, only to find that the key card receptacle once again flashed red. It was not opening the door from outside to the hall where our room was!
 
Rob ran back down to the hotel lobby – three flights of stairs and a long hall – and waited impatiently until the elevator finally took him to our floor. 
 
He ran to room 314, put in his door card and the door would not open; the key card had been deactivated that morning. It was 8:30 am, by the way, and there is no way that that should have happened; we definitely had not checked out!
 
Rob took the elevator back down to the lobby and begged the woman to reactivate the card. Like Mrs. Wiggins in the Carol Burnett/Mr. Tudball skit, she took her time. She had to ask someone. Rob said, out of breath, that he didn’t want to be rude, but his wife was waiting for the iPad she needed to make a speech. Still…slower than molasses in January, as my mom used to say. Much slower. And finally he got the card, took the elevator and grabbed the iPad. And it made its way to me.
 
We caught the entire misadventure on tape (Rob had set up a camera, as I wanted a tape of my speech to show the folks at a speakers’ agency). I don’t know if I can ever watch it, but for the rest of my days, I’ll remember that ten or 12 minutes. Talking to the fifty broadcasters in the room, laughing, trying to fill – something we all have had to do in radio at some time in our lives, but obviously the stuff that nightmares are made of as well – and thinking how I could have done things differently.
 
It started with feeling so empty-handed when I left the hotel room. And ended up with me learning a lot of lessons I will never forget. Maybe one of them is that I should go ahead and research and write that book about work nightmares. 
 
The other is this: not having a prepared speech in my hand is not the worst thing that has happened to me or to Rob. The content of the speech is about that actual “worst thing.” All the rest? Perspective. Talk to you here tomorrow.