Erin's Journals

Just a thought… You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength. [Marcus Aurelius]

You can watch a video version of this journal on my Facebook page, or here on YouTube.

Welcome in, my bleary-eyed friend. Two things people are talking about today: the Oscars, which I will have watched after writing this (and we’ll cover a few aspects of the show later this week in the Gracefully and Frankly podcast) and, of course, the second thing is the time.

I used to hate the Monday after we put our clocks ahead with the heat of a thousand suns. When you get up in the middle of the night, that hour makes a lot of difference, and my body clock would take a week to adjust. That being said, I’m not going to complain about it, because no one has asked me if we should move our clocks or not. And there are enough opinions out there on changing the time that you don’t need mine.

But I do want to talk about the concept of time. On Facebook Saturday I posted this picture.

It is about NOW, obviously, and how it is the only time we have.

I’ve been thinking a lot about time lately, especially the time spent away and the time I wasted, worrying about whether my friends were having a good time. And in the days since Lisa Brandt and I discussed this very thing, how ensuring everyone in the room or even, say, the lineup at the grocery store is not being bothered by anything, especially anything related to what I might be doing, is NOT my responsibility, not my superpower… I can’t stop thinking about it.

It’s a really eye-opening concept, and shakes up what those of us who grew up in either volatile or uncertain surroundings have ingrained in our DNA. Am I doing enough to make sure my mom isn’t upset? What was that sigh about? Is she mad I’m reading while she’s vacuuming? If I take too long finding my store discount app on my phone, is the guy behind me going to be angry? Is everyone at the dinner party okay with the music, the presentation, the meal?

See, this is why some people are easy, gracious hosts who regularly have guests over. I am not that person and I think it’s cost me some possible friendships here on the island. One couple inadvertently intimidated me so much with their high-end coffee maker (and I’m talking really high-end, like new-car-price high-end) and their particular wine tastes that I couldn’t bear to have them over to reciprocate their two invitations and risk not measuring up.

I know how ridiculous that sounds. So I ask myself, and you: at what age do we decide that it just doesn’t matter? It’s not our responsibility? To shake off the fear of not fitting in, meeting a certain standard or keeping the peace in uncertain surroundings?

I don’t know. It’s exhausting. But that’s been my journey this past week, with pieces of wisdom driving home that message almost daily in my inbox.

Mistakenly thinking I have that superpower of making everyone happy all the time has cost me precious time, and the chance to really make memories.

Now, on the other hand, my job as emcee, hosting a day-long event as I did last Thursday for a large corporate group in Victoria, BC, is exactly the thing I’m saying I should let go of: I am hired to make sure that everyone is having a good time. But it’s the difference between me taking responsibility if the buffet isn’t good (and it was) and just handling my own job: what I say, how I deal with screw-ups big and small in the moment.

Have I spent the last three or four days thinking of things I could have done better at the event? Of course. If you don’t, you don’t improve. You welcome feedback, which I’m happy to say has been 100% positive. You use it as fuel to be better. But unlike a recorded show where you can go back and edit, and believe me, occasionally Lisa or I will say, “Uh, yeah, that may have been over the line; let’s take it out,” it was live and in the moment, and nothing that happened can be changed.

It’s why all we have is NOW. We move forward, knowing it’s never too late to change for the better. We can alter our opinions, growing as compassionate and intelligent humans, and learning from our mistakes. And, most of all, we can remember the words of the stoic Marcus Aurelius: “When you arise in the morning, think of what a privilege it is to be alive, to think, to enjoy, to love….”

Sure beats hating that the clocks went ahead, doesn’t it?

Have a good week – and there’s a brand new Drift story for you tomorrow. It’s Raggedy Ann Learns a Lesson and I think you’ll like it. And Episode 11 of Gracefully and Frankly drops on Thursday. Grab a cuppa and we’ll talk to you then.

Just a thought… No matter how hard you plan and prepare, things can still go wrong. [Lewis Howe]

You can watch a video version of this journal on my Facebook page, or here on YouTube.

And, I’m home again. Nearly four weeks to the day since flying out of Victoria to Vancouver and then on to Maui, I’ve come to the conclusion that in the 21^st century, when everything was supposed to be easier, travel is just getting more difficult.

Of course, there will always be challenges like the weather: that Toronto storm last weekend meant my friend Allan, who came with me from Hawaii for a few days together in Vancouver, did not leave at 4 pm Saturday to go home, but at 4 am Sunday, poor soul. Here he is in a much more awake state! 

And truly, with his huge heart, having been there for us in good times and bad – helping plan a wedding and a funeral within two years, for starters – Allan IS the pot of gold at the end of our rainbow.

But it just seems as if the airlines are no longer equipped to handle the loads, figuratively and literally. My sister Leslie, seen here in a picture with Allan, found that out firsthand.

When she was travelling with me, she took a few days to go to her former home on the big island of Hawaii. Rain soaked most of that sentimental journey, but her rainbow came when she switched flights to come back to Maui direct and it cost her eight dollars. Yes, eight dollars US, but she also got to bring two checked bags free on Southwest. They had an awful December with multiple problems, but how do they reward people for coming back? By earning their loyalty again.

But when Leslie flew from Maui to Vancouver on Air Canada, her flight was delayed getting off the island, so she missed her connector to get her home to Kelowna. We knew that was going to happen, so we were on the phone for two hours waiting for customer support to get her on the later connecting flight the next morning. And it was a good thing we did: the lovely guy named Max who helped us said it was the very last seat on the plane. Oh, I feel so sorry for the front line workers with these airlines.

Sounds like a great save, right? Well, until it wasn’t. Leslie arrived in Kelowna, but thanks to a borrowed Apple AirTag (those GPS gadgets you tuck into your suitcase to locate it when it goes AWOL) she knew her bags were still in Vancouver. And Air Canada knew, too. But did she get a text telling her that? Nope.

She and her husband waited for two hours at the airport while their daughter walked home in a snowstorm, their son missed an appointment, and her husband fumed about missing deliveries he was supposed to make. The reason they’d left her luggage in Vancouver was because they had exceeded their weight limits and so they flew it into Kelowna the next day, where it sat at the airport for another day while they tried to find someone to get it to her house.

I’m sorry – it’s just a lot. Take my podcast partner Lisa.

She missed her bus home to London, Ontario after a brutally long travel day, thanks to a screw-up on the part of the shuttle service (hear about it in Episode 9 of Gracefully and Frankly). Allan endured a 12-hour delay; Leslie’s luggage was purposely left behind and she wasn’t notified. I mean, travel is hard these days. Add to it the fact that almost no one on our flights was wearing a mask, and you’re risking adding illness to insult, if you will. Interestingly, our friend Anita, the most zen of us all, managed to fly home smoothly (not counting the five-hour layover in Calgary she and Lisa shared). With plenty of laughs, no doubt, despite it all. 

I am not complaining, just observing. I know I’m lucky to have travelled; we all are. It’s just not a joy anymore. No matter what you pay or how you plan.

Except for a brutal performance by the hockey team we paid through the nose to see (perhaps why we ended up in the nosebleeds, Rob, Colin and I), I could not have asked for a better ending to a gentle vacation.

Yes, Saturday marked our grandson’s first NHL game and he was beyond excited; the ticket and weekend adventure were our Christmas gift to him and his tears with the humiliating 4-1 loss officially christened him a Leafs’ fan.

Rogers Arena was packed with them Saturday night and the excitement and joy of being there almost erased my fury at having an entire cup of cola dumped from the row above, soaking my purse, Colin’s “First Game” certificate and a Canucks toque given him by a local friend. I worked hard at being in the moment and getting shots like this.

After holding him as he cried softly on our way out of the row (Colin, not Rob), he was back to his beautiful cheery self that evening…

…and took away only good memories. That’s what we’re here for, after all, right?

Thanks for sharing our adventures and, yes, it is good to be home. We have a family trip booked (both our grandkids, their parents, plus Rob and me) in two weeks, so I’m not rushing to unpack just to fill the suitcase again. But this is what “reWirement” is about for me. Luckily, though, it’s just a drive this time. No airlines are involved for now – that’ll be April when I come to Ottawa for an event.

I’ll be my usual optimistic self and searching for the bright side, as in this picture Allan took NOT on a panoramic setting; it’s what the beach that has such precious memories looked like.

And I’ll try to hope for the best. I may be ready to fly again by then…or I’ll just climb back into my tree until my sanity returns. Don’t miss this Thursday’s Episode 10 of Gracefully & Frankly, where we’ll talk about what we do with our loved ones’ ashes, why other people can be the worst when you just want to have a good time, and so much more. Join us and find out why we just surpassed 10,000 downloads. It’s easy to listen and we promise you’ll be glad you spent half an hour with us over coffee, tea or whatever you enjoy with good friends.

Talk to you again on Monday!

Just a thought (and thanks to Carol for sending this my way)… Life is kind of like a party. You invite a lot of people, some leave early, some stay all night, some laugh with you, some laugh AT you, and some show up really late. But in the end, after the fun, there are a few who stay to help you clean up the mess. And most of the tine, they aren’t even the ones who made the mess. These people are your true friends in life. [author unknown]

You can watch a video version of this journal on my Facebook page, or here on YouTube.

Don’t you just LOVE that?

With Valentine’s Day tomorrow, let’s look at love of a different shade – what any true romance hopefully is based upon to begin with: friendship.

I’m sure you’ve probably seen ads for the movie 80 for Brady – an all-star comedy with Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin, Sally Field and Rita Moreno – which came out earlier this month. I can’t wait to see it and laugh with an audience in a theatre again, but it’s looking like my schedule may preclude that for now.

Anyway, in some of their promotion for the film, this fearsome foursome talked about friendship.

In one clip from CBS’ Sunday Morning show a few weeks back, Jane Fonda talks about having to pursue friendships. She says that her favourite ex-husband (and you have to love that) Ted Turner said you can’t make new friends after 60. And she says that was wrong.

I couldn’t agree more. Take that 60 and subtract six years, when Rob and I pulled up stakes from the GTA and moved to BC. Waiting at our front door was a welcome bag from a woman whose acquaintance I’d made mostly online, but whom I’d met only once during a previous visit to BC.

She had local magazines ready for me and info on how to get a doctor here, and all kinds of interesting and vital stuff. Then we met up, went to lunch at a gorgeous spot on the Malahat, just a bit up island, with this view…

…and from there we became friends. Now we ARE best friends.

You know, I used to think you can only have one best friend. But now I know I’m wrong; you can have a best friend who’s there for you online, a best friend who’s a few provinces or even countries away, and a best friend you can see every week or two. I have a best friend in her 90s, one I do a podcast with, and then there’s that local best friend, Nancy, the one who introduced me to life here.

Life is too short to have one foot on the brake pedal for the whole drive, especially in the home stretch. If you can find a way to open your heart and life to the chance to make new friends, by volunteering or just joining online groups to start, you open up your life, too. And when you need them, you’ll be so glad they’re there to help clean up the mess after the party.

Thank you if you entered the contest for five glorious enVy pillows through our Gracefully & Frankly contest; it closed on Friday night. Winners will be announced tomorrow, both here and at our Facebook page. In fact, you can listen to the podcast by scrolling up and clicking the G & F image and it’ll take you there.

If you haven’t yet tried listening to podcasts, don’t be scared! These are free and I promise you it’s a whole new world. They’re great company in the car, on your walk, even at bedtime. Which reminds me, we have a new story for you here tomorrow evening on Drift with Erin Davis. This sleep story is the tale of The Travelling Musicians – animals who find companionship, a purpose and a really good time, long after they learn their days are numbered. Gotta love that friendship stuff, huh?

Happy Valentine’s Day tomorrow and Happy Family Day next week. I’ll be back here in two weeks.

So, some journals have to be watched to be really understood – and this week’s is one. 

You can watch it on my Facebook page, or here on YouTube.

It’s about wigs. Um…mine. Some folks may have suspected during Covid that my coif was not my own and today I come clean: say hello to my little friends!

Enjoy – have a laugh (goodness knows I do while I’m ‘fessing up) and remember, we have 5 glorious enVy Pillows to give away to listeners of our Gracefully and Frankly podcast. Details and questions above; it’s also where you can just click a box to listen to the podcast. There are five episodes, each 30 minutes long and the 10 questions (all multiple choice – you’re welcome) that, if answered correctly, get you in the draw for those beautiful silk and copper-infused pillows.

Enjoy the podcast. Good luck! Your odds are pretty darned good, my friend.

I’ll be back next Monday with a written journal – on friendship.