Erin's Journals

Just a thought… You know it’s funny: life just turns out to be a series of disappointments with just enough time between them for the next one to catch you by surprise. [Bradley Jackson, The Morning Show]

You can watch a video version of this journal on my Facebook page, or here on YouTube.

I know, that’s not the kind of cheery start to these journals that you expect, but honest to goodness, when I heard Reese Witherspoon’s character say those words on an episode of Apple’s The Morning Show, I had to stop the show and write them down.

“A series of disappointments with just enough time between them for the next one to catch you by surprise.” Cynical? Indeed. But true enough to be funny, too. You know what’s not disappointing these days, though? The number of people in cities and towns across this globe of ours coming out in support of the people of Ukraine and their brave president Zelensky.

As I write this, everything is evolving moment by moment in Eastern Europe and beyond. But one thing is constant: you. If you’re overwhelmed by a feeling of weltschmerz…

…you are certainly not alone. And, of course, the Germans have the perfect word for it; they gave us “schadenfreude” after all!

You’ve got to take care of you while this is all going on. Like the Serenity Prayer says, “…the Courage to Change the Things I Can…” so make that donation to the Canadian Red Cross, to be matched by our federal government, up to 10 million dollars. And as for the “Accept the Things I Cannot Change” part, this is where your self-care comes in.

NPR had a really great article the other day. To pare it down to almost Twitter-length points, I’ll share the important tips they had on how you can make sure you stay steady and take care of you.

First, breathe. There are many methods for meditation on the go, but here’s a five finger breathing exercise. Hold your hand up in front of you, tracing your fingers as you breathe in, going up the finger, and exhale going down. Some people use this in the dentist’s office. I use it while I’m driving. KIDDING.

Next, get moving! You don’t have to jump on the bike – indoors these days for the most part – just busy yourself with something other than the news and something that makes your brain go down another road. A book? A recipe? A craft? Deep cleaning? (Okay, that was silly – who wants to deep clean?) Have your own cabinet shuffle and move out the spices that came into your house before the new millennium did. True story: yesterday I found a bottle of Sterisol mouthwash in the bathroom that expired in 2010. Did I throw it out? No I did not.

Nourish yourself. Although chocolate is truly one of the food groups and there’s no judgment here, make sure you’re taking care of your body’s nutritional needs.

Stay connected. If you’re worried, chances are someone you love is, too. Or if they’re not, perhaps they’ll be just the person you need to talk to right now. Plus, we’re still taking a lot of Covid precautions, most of us, as the virus hasn’t stopped just because we’re tired of it. So, yes, we still need to make that connection. Phone, email, text, in-person visit – whatever takes you out of your own head and reminds you that we’re all in this together.

And finally – although not this moment please – sign off. It’s okay not to be hooked into the latest news, videos and crystal clear images – some inspiring, some horrifying. Most of us cannot handle a constant stream or a barrage of information and misinformation. Just step away from your device, limit your intake and decide which reliable news sources you will go to.

Have hope. Give if you are able. Change what you can, accept what you can’t and have the wisdom to know the difference. And please take care of you. I’ll be back here on Thursday. Peace.

Just a thought… Baking is love made edible. [Author Unknown]

As always, you can watch a video version of this journal on my Facebook page, or here on YouTube.

Imagine – under one month from now we’ll be in spring. Here on Vancouver Island, the crocuses and snow drops, as well as hummingbirds, have been shivering from a cold snap that came our way. But hey – it’s all perspective: it’s not Winnipeg cold…so on we go.

Despite the insanity around us, and maybe because of it, we consider ourselves lucky. Again, all perspective. (And by the way, if you’re having trouble sleeping, as so many of us are, the newest story free on Drift this week is The Velveteen Rabbit. I know you’ll love it as much as I did in bringing it to you!)

Back when lockdowns began, you couldn’t open a news or social media site without reading that someone was making bread or had a sourdough starter. To me, that might as well have been people talking about building a car from scratch, or even doing Wordle. Not my lane. If you love doing it, then great, but I’ll just move on, thanks.

So I’ll understand if you say, “Oh, that’s old news….” when I tell you what’s been going on in our little insular lives.

I started this year with a purpose: I was going to get acquainted with my kitchen. I bought a set of pots and pans so nice that they have their own tea towel for drying. I got a heavy-duty artist’s apron in turquoise that matches my kitchen. I started looking at recipes and then made a file where I keep the ones that seem possible. I stepped through my fear and aimed at becoming a better cook.

Part of this came from embarrassment: Rob and I were invited to no fewer than three dinners in people’s houses in the last few months of 2021 and I was paralyzed with fear over reciprocating. I mean, it’s one thing to have forgiving family over and meet them with too-chewy scalloped potatoes or a cheesecake whose base refused to form properly, but when you have a few excellent chefs in your slowly increasing circle of friends, and you realize how downright rude it is not to invite them over, you have to decide what to do.

We can pay for restaurant dinners (and have) or step up and learn a few things at long last. Becoming better at cooking was something I’d always said I would do in retirement, and while heating up a bag of frozen pasta and shrimp does fine for a dinner for Rob and me, it just won’t cut it for company outside of family.

A few weeks ago, I decided I’d try making bread. Our favourite kind is focaccia: a cake-like, light bread that you dot with rosemary and sea salt (or many other toppings, as you’ll see in the recipe).

I found one that called for the dough to be refrigerated for at least 24 hours (and can be for up to 48) and I thought, Well, let’s give that one a try. No kneading, very simple.

I’m happy to tell you that the first time I did it, it was a success. Which scared me, because I thought it was a fluke. But I made it again for Family Day. It went from the fridge (after 24 hours of rising) to this…

…and then this…

…and finally, this.

And, yes, it was every bit as good as it looks.

But here was my one last quandary: the first time I made it, the place on which it rose for the afternoon was on a counter over a running dishwasher. That counter gets nice and warm. So I wondered: Was the warm countertop the secret to it rising so perfectly?

Just to be safe, I timed my dishwasher running with the rising bread for the second focaccia I made and, as you saw, it was perfect.

Is this “dishwasher bread?” Or will it be fine without it?

Stay tuned for “As the Bread Rises” or “Erin Gets a Life…Eventually” coming soon to the Food Network.

The recipe is here if you want to try it (there’s even a video guide to it) and, trust me, it has the thumbs-up from everybody who’s enjoyed it at our table. And no, they’re not just being polite! We’re open about what could be improved at every sitting, so I’ll get it right when friends come over…which we all hope will be sooner than later.

Have a good weekend and I’ll be back here with you Monday.

Just a thought… If life can remove someone you never dreamed of losing, it can replace them with someone you never dreamed of having. [Rachel Wolchin]

Well, we can hope. Here we go. You can watch a video version of this journal on my Facebook page, or here on YouTube.

We’re just about on the cusp of the first long weekend of 2022 and it just so happens that Rob and I also mark our wedding anniversary this weekend. Well, actually, “mark” might even be too strong a word for it. It falls on a holiday weekend, so we didn’t bother trying to book any time away, since every place would likely be busier than we’d prefer right now. And it’s not a milestone; next year will be 35 and if we make it ’til then, maybe we’ll do something. Who the heck knows?

I joke about us not being together and neither of us has even the slightest notion of life without the other. Okay, that’s speaking for myself because without me, Rob would play even more hockey than the four games he’s booked for this week and a lot of women would scoop him up in a heartbeat. But you see, I don’t really keep his life running the way he does mine.

Seriously, I can’t imagine going on without him. And that’s why it is so painful to sit and worry one month after my brother-in-law of 40 years walked out on my sister, saying – at 80 – he wanted to live happily the rest of his life with someone else he’d recently met. And no, he didn’t leave for a younger woman. He had one: my sister is 18 years his junior. The new partner? 80. I know age doesn’t matter, but you might have had some notion of why he left.

This one sister hasn’t worked outside the home in decades and now, in her early 60s, doesn’t have any plans to, and you get a whole lot of confusion and despair. Oh – and she lives in Mexico, where their community circle is small. So, what to do?

I’ve always shared with you the personal in our own lives without getting private, and believe me there is a line, even though I blur it every now and then, but you can imagine – actually maybe you’ve even been through it – the anguish that her sisters are feeling on her behalf. Dad doesn’t know; we fear it would confuse him terribly and he’d be paralyzed with concern when there is literally nothing he can do to help. I know the feeling.

A few weeks ago I was ready to clear my calendar, chuck my fears about Covid and get on a plane to be with her, but she decided she needed time alone to figure all of this out. The helplessness one feels so far from family – from my Dad whose gal pal is in hospital and then likely rehab now for who-knows-how-long after a fall and a resulting hip replacement, and of course from an older sister, whose motto – whether dealing with a life-threatening auto-immune disease for most of her adult life, or any of the other challenges thrown her way – has been “get over it” (softened through the years to “it’ll be fine”). Mine is “get through it” and I think that she is doing that as best she can.

I tell you this story, not to air anyone’s laundry, not to garner pity or anger on behalf of my sister – believe me, we’ve got that covered, we Coven of Davis women – but just as a reminder that those of us who are in a relationship that is solid and sometimes blessedly dull cannot for a minute take it for granted.

As a co-worker of mine once said after his ex wrote a book and their break-up was a part of it: “No one knows what’s going on in a relationship except the two people in it – and sometimes even they don’t know.” Bob was absolutely right. And when we feel helpless and don’t know what to do, as in all things, we can be grateful, offer support or, best of all, just listen. And that includes in our own partnerships.

As I say, we won’t be celebrating our anniversary per se, but we will be celebrating family in all its forms. For all the foul-ups and dust-ups, the mistakes and misunderstandings, they’re ours. And if they love us, then that makes us lucky, doesn’t it?

Have a good weekend. I’m going to take Monday off and post on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter now and then (if you care to join me). You have nearly 40 Drift episodes that are free to enjoy here – be my guest! And sweet dreams.

Just a thought… Little by little we let go of loss, but never of love. [Author Unknown]

You can watch a video version of this journal on my Facebook page, or here on YouTube.

And so…it’s Valentine’s Day. I know you know; how could you not, really?

I know it’s a day that a lot of people look down their noses at and that’s okay. Sure, it’s what they call a Hallmark holiday, but if you want to mark it, who does it hurt?

If you’re like me, it mattered most when we were kids; of course, this was before everyone got a Valentine out of kindness and compassion for those of us who could count the ones they received on one hand, and maybe have a finger left over. Oh, but when I was a teenager, I spotted and excitedly clipped an ad out of the Toronto Star, barely bigger than a postage stamp, from their paid Valentines classified section. Remember those?

It was from “His name to Erin.” Now, although it was my boyfriend’s or would-be boyfriend’s name, he definitely hadn’t taken out that ad for me. But I held on to that tiny clipping as if he’d written it. Hey – a girl can dream. And for all I know, it’s all yellowed and tucked into the bottom folds of a long-ignored box somewhere in this house.

Of course, today, paying for a message in a newspaper is about as relatable as putting a message on the foot of a carrier pigeon.

I can tell you now that I did run into that former Valentine, during an event when Mourning Has Broken came out in February 2019. I didn’t notice him in line to get my book signed until “In My Life” by the Beatles, which just happened to be one of “our” songs, came on in the store and someone piped up, “Hey, who’s picking the music?”

I looked up and I couldn’t believe my eyes. I confess to not being totally present for the person who was standing right in front of me and had bravely ventured out in the midst of a raging snowstorm. But this man was someone I’d hoped to run into for nearly 40 years since our relationship ended – maybe at a school reunion, at a dedication at my high school’s “wall of fame” – just anywhere, to see how life had treated him and how much he’d changed. (I mean, aren’t we all curious about how those high school sweethearts aged?)

I don’t think I even noticed what 40 years had done to (or for) him when we met that day in the book store and caught up a bit later while I was on a break; although, as you well know, I am very happily and terminally married, you never forget your first love.

There’s something else though that I remember from that day: besides the Beatles coming on in the store, there was one more nudge from chance. As we said our good-byes back in the book store, I leaned in for a hug, and spotted this over his shoulder.

Yes, the author’s name (except for the middle initial) is Lauren Davis, the same as our late daughter’s – the person whose passing, and the lessons that came with it, brought about this whole book-signing business to begin with.

Do I think Lauren brought us together that day? Oh, heck no. She was saying, “Mom – I see you. Sit down and behave yourself, will ya?”

That’s the thing about Valentines: we remember the ones we got, the ones we didn’t, and then there are ones who really had our hearts but are no longer here – always with us, keeping a watchful eye and sending, not flowers, but occasional messages of love, support and, yes, flicks upside the head to remind us they’re there and to be good. They are here; I know it in my heart.

You have a gentle day, and I’ll be back with you here on Thursday.

Just a thought… As much as you want to plan your life, it has a way of surprising you with unexpected things that will make you happier than you originally planned. [Nikhil Chourasiya]

As always, you can watch a video version of this journal on my Facebook page, or here on YouTube.

Well, I have some exciting news. I mean it is exciting, but it’s also news that’s meant to put you to sleep and even if you think it’s not for you, just read on for a few minutes and you’ll get a link to a little movie that I made. And wouldn’t you know it – I just missed out on the Oscar nominations, too!

So here’s the news. You know how last year I started doing a podcast of sleep stories because it was my dream? Well, here’s what happened: turns out people – you – like to listen to stuff for free. And I can’t blame you; I mean, you don’t pay for this, you didn’t pay to listen to me on the radio all those years, and so…subscriptions to Drift with Erin Davis were not what Apple or Frequency Podcasts had hoped. If you did subscribe (thank you!) rest assured you’ll be getting money back on the remainder of the period, when the next billing date comes up.

At first I thought, Well, that’s that…all that work and time and love and personal expense all up in smoke. But Rob saw opportunity and that’s exactly what this is: a chance to create something just perfect for you, for free.

So, starting now – like right now – you can listen to these sleep stories – gently told fairy tales from Hans Christian Andersen, the Brothers Grimm and other timeless classics, and even a few I’ve written myself – for free.

We’re also excited to be partnering with enVy Pillow. So much more than just a corporate sponsor, it’s a perfect fit for us: enVy Pillow was created and built by two business women (Registered Nurses) Kathy and Kim. They started this now-internationally successful and environmentally conscious Canadian company making really special pillows that I’ve been sleeping on for some 20 years now, and that I’ve recommended to my sisters and friends alike. They have more than just pillows on their site, and are waiting impatiently for their newest shipment right now, so they’re sleepless with excitement, too…but I’m so thrilled with this development.

The best news of all is that this means you’re getting this labour of love of mine, this dream, as a gift. And you can start listening now by going to your favourite source for podcasts and searching for Drift With Erin Davis or just clicking here. (A podcast app is probably better, because you can subscribe for free and get notified whenever there’s a new sleep story.)

Now, to celebrate, I decided to teach myself how to use iMovie even more than I already am putting my video journals together. So give me one minute and here’s a teaser (a trailer as we call it in the “movie business” LOL) for a brand new story that’s waiting for you at Drift.

Enjoy it, and I’ll be back with you here on Monday.