Erin's Journals

Just a thought… Expect the best, plan for the worst, and prepare to be surprised. [Denis Waitley]

“It’s just a game,” he said.

“It’s just a day,” I said.

In the end we were both wrong, but here’s how our 37^th anniversary went horribly, wonderfully awry.

As I’ve shared, I’m in Palm Springs, California ’til Saturday, at a house booked and prepaid: a) before the US election and we had our nation attacked economically and rhetorically by the Tangerine Palpatine in the White House – or perhaps more aptly, on the golf course, and b) before the mass boycott of AirBnB began over its owner getting in bed with Musk and his DOGE bros who are systematically dismantling the US government.

Last Thursday was a big day and night in our lives: we were married Feb. 20 in 1988 and Rob was flying down from Victoria specifically to celebrate with me, hopefully over a lovely candlelit dinner at a spot we’d reserved two months earlier, before driving us both home this week.

But when we realized it would be Canada versus the US in the final game of the Four Nations hockey tournament on that night, it was I who suggested that we put off dinner and watch the game together. Rob stoically reminded me that it was only hockey (bahahaha – nice try), but I knew we’d both spend dinner wondering what was happening on the ice. So we moved our reservations and anticipated our reunion.

WorstJet had other ideas. Rob got to Vancouver from Victoria and then had to wait through a six-hour delay (caused by a shortage of planes, according to the pilot????), which got him to the Palm Springs airport an hour AFTER the end of the game. Ugh (although not the words I used; if you’re familiar with FFS, you know).

Well, couldn’t you just PVR/DVR the game, Erin?

Ah, that’s a good question, clever reader! But you see, this rental house has no cable, only internet streaming. So no DVR, no way to record. I figured out I could watch through the Disney subscription (ESPN is Mouse-owned) but how to capture the game to watch together after I picked Rob up at the airport?

Well, here’s what I invented.

Using a coat/hat rack, I taped my iPad onto it, cushioned and held in place with tea towels and painters’ tape.

And here’s the view from the iPad as I tested it before the game.

Good thing I did the test: my iPad stopped 90 minutes in because I had filled my storage. So I deleted a bunch of unwatched Netflix shows and there was room. Long story short, Canada won, Rob (who had been informed of the score throughout the flight by pilot announcements) got home and watched the overtime, the dogs mauled him the moment they saw him, and Friday we went out to dinner.

All is well. And for one shining night, we scored a big win over the Ayatollah Covfefe and his 51^st state BS. As Prime Minister Trudeau now famously said, “You can’t take our country – and you can’t take our game.” Amen to that.

And please, if you’re in Ontario, make a plan to vote this week. If your riding has always been one colour and you don’t think you’ll have a voice, you DO have one. Here’s a link to how to vote strategically for change – or not, depending on where you sit – to use how you wish. Good luck to all.

Someone wise said, “Friends are the family you choose.” This Family Day I choose to celebrate with my dear longtime friend Allan Bell, and so I’ll blog again next week. May your day be filled with warm thoughts and happy moments.

Just a thought… Individually we are one drop, but together we are an ocean. [Ryunosuke Satoro]

I figured, since the day of hearts is this week, I’d open my mine to you about another kind of love: the sort that has a more sterile name, but can be just as filled with hand-holding, tear-wiping and load-carrying as the other. And sometimes it lasts even longer. I’m talking today about partnership.

Many of us recognize we’re better with someone than on our own. It’s not a knock to our independence, our strength or our abilities; it’s a recognition that as someone wiser than I put it, when we work toward a common goal, achieving success matters more than who gets the credit.

I’ve had several partnerships in my life, and I’ll focus on the ones that were “gold star.” No one wants to hear about the ones that looked fine but were, behind the curtain, far less than ideal or even bearable. We’re going through that on the political stage right now, thanks; no one needs it here today. (That said, if you haven’t seen BC Premier David Eby on stage at the Invictus Games opening ceremony Saturday, find it, watch it, and tear up as I did!)

My near 37-year marriage to Rob is my first. We like to joke that “there’s a lot to be said for inertia” but it’s the partnership – in the best and absolutely worst of times – that will always matter most in my life.

My work partnerships have played out on the public stage. Teaming with Mike Cooper from 2004 until 2016 was the joy of a blessed career, and our friendship was real and endures to this day. As different as we were, we found common ground in our hearts and the way we did a radio show. It worked because we respected, liked and eventually loved each other. How lucky I am!

There were partnerships in which I trusted where I shouldn’t have, hoped for more than they could possibly give (hindsight and therapy are great for seeing that now) and that were doomed from the start. But to focus on them, unless to learn, does no one any good.

When the radio career in Toronto ended, I found a new partnership – one also born out of friendship. Lisa Brandt and I had met through our shared beloved medium of radio, built that friendship through common threads, and maintained it over the years via correspondence and trips. We’ve always lived far apart, but now through our weekly show together, we keep in touch far more often than most old friends, texting/writing daily.

It was during one of her visits that we came up with a solid idea and a name for our podcast. And a few months later on my visit to her place, we laid down our first show, scrapped it, and kept trying until we got it right. 112 episodes and 150,000+ downloads (countless more listens) later, Gracefully and Frankly is only getting stronger. In fact Lisa’s been working tirelessly and patiently to build us our own website. She makes jewelry! She writes books! She puts together a beautiful website! The woman is a neverending wonder. I’ll use the word “blessed” once again.

There’s one more partnership that I hold dear in my heart: the ties that bind you and me. We may never have met, but somehow over the past 30+ years you’ve come to feel you know me, and I hope that you do. When Rob and I suffered the worst loss parents can survive, you were there for us. When I put out a book telling of our love, loss and reclaiming joy, you made it a #1 bestseller in Canada. The fact that it continues to be read warms both of our hearts. When I’ve asked you to consider a cause or donate to something I deem worthy, you’ve done that. You offer advice, comfort and humour. You stay in touch. You even share your deepest thoughts, including about your grief or addiction.

You have given me your trust, and I hope that every day I continue to earn it.

There are a lot of different partnerships. It seems this week is a good time to recognize how vital they can be in our lives, in whatever form they may be. And since unexpressed gratitude is no good to anyone, I thought you might like to know just how much you’ve meant to me. Consider it my valentine to you, a bit early, but definitely in earnest.

Just a thought… Geography has made us neighbors. History has made us friends. Economics has made us partners. And necessity has made us allies. [John F. Kennedy speaking in Ottawa, May 1961]

I want to come home.

I envision driving into Canada at the BC/Washington State border, then pulling over to kiss the cold ground. That’s how I’m feeling down here near Palm Springs, California, the place from which Lisa Brandt and I did our Facebook Live last Thursday for our Gracefully and Frankly podcast. (Thank you if you were among the 6000+ who joined us on our Facebook page, both live and afterward. It’s also up on YouTube if you’re not on Facebook; here’s a link, if you’re interested.) 

If you skipped the small print, I’ll repeat one salient detail: Rob and I rented the house, until the end of this month, and pre-paid way back before the US election, when we were ridiculously sure that a felon would not win. How naïve could we be?

On Saturday night, Lisa and I watched a live feed of Prime Minister Trudeau pointedly addressing both Canadians and Americans about tariffs that will go into place in response to the moronic and heavy-handed penalties being forced on us this week. As we did, I began to feel a heaviness churning inside. That weight became worry, and then…a sick familiarity.

It was almost exactly five years ago to the day, also down here, that we watched a televised address from #45 to the US about Covid. When it was over, I turned to Rob and said, “Change our flights; we’ve got to get out – now.” It took a few weeks due to restrictions over flying with a dog, but we got home on St. Patrick’s Day and I could have cried with relief.

This time, making an early escape is not in the cards. For one thing, I have one last guest who’s booked to visit me next week and who has now offered to cancel his trip if I want to return home early. You see, yesterday I had the urge to load up the car and the dogs and head north, all on my own, right away. (The plan has always been for Rob to fly here on the 20th and drive us all home beginning March 1.)

Yesterday Rob reminded me that my would-be solo trip includes northern states and parts of BC that may require you to carry tire chains. Oh, right! It’s cold and snowy as we head home. That hadn’t occurred to me.

Add that variable to an already-stressful drive that would include locating EV chargers along the way, letting the dogs out regularly, and taking care of them nightly in hotel rooms, and it all adds up to me just staying put until Rob can get here. I really don’t think I’m up to doing the job safely.

As it stands, I’ll try to breathe and savour the last few weeks here in this pocket of blue sanity, amidst a country that appears to be in every bit of the trouble we knew it would be that fateful, sickening election night when over 80 million Americans were either too intimidated or lazy to go to the polls, something Ontarians are being called to do now; Canadians, probably soon.

As the “true north strong and free,” most of us have always been immensely proud of our imperfect but formidable country. The good has consistently outweighed the negative; when we’ve had spats, we’ve kept it in the family, within our borders. But now that the tangerine toddler has set his sights on his friendly allies, there’s a unity and strength the fervour of which we have not witnessed as Canadians – in my lifetime, at least – and, no, hockey tournaments don’t count here.

Another positive: it feels as if we can all fly our maple leaf again without the nagging fear that someone might think we’re in the maple MAGAt crowd.

Canadians are taking back our flag, metaphorically turning the F— TRUDEAU into F— TRUMP. And isn’t it about damned time? It’s a shame it has taken the brutal and insane bullying from below to bring it all to this. But here we are and we’re bracing, hard. ELBOWS UP! as we say in the land of hockey parlance.

Lisa and I will be discussing this more in Thursday’s Ep. 112 of Gracefully and Frankly. We hope you’ll join us as we discuss Canadian boycotts, how far we can realistically go, and so on.

Just a thought… True friendship resists time, distance and silence. [Isabel Allende]

I’m taking a week off journalling this week, and I hope you’ll understand. My bestie Lisa Brandt arrived safely and drama-free on Saturday (last year, you may recall, she was without her suitcase for three days while it “found” her).

Tonight we head out for dinner and then Drag Queen Bingo with our illustrious host Bella D’Ball. I’m sure we’ll have lots of laughs and we’ll share them with you when we do our Facebook Live this Thursday at 7 pm Eastern (4 here).

We know it’s our last trip to the US for a long time, so we’re taking everything in, all in finer detail than ever before.

So as I type this, we’ve just finished a nice long talk – one of many shared and to come – and I know you’ll forgive me for not spending time on my laptop when Lisa’s here.

We hope you’ll join us on Facebook this Thursday! You can let us know you’re coming today on the page and there’s no obligation to show. Just put it in your calendar now and hopefully we have a good hour together.

And thanks for coming by.