Erin's Journals

After arriving safely, and just as the Raptors game ended (One point! Really?), in Kelowna last night, Rob and I were reunited after 10 days apart! That’s a long stretch for us. We bunked down in the guest suite at Dad’s seniors’ residence and look forward to two days here, departing on Thursday to make it back to the Sidney, BC area in time for our semi-monthly Rotary meeting.
 
This is a favourite picture of mine from about five years ago when Dad came to town to visit from Kelowna. As I recall, we had dinner at Baton Rouge at the foot of the CN Tower before hitting a Blue Jays game.
 

 
I loved learning that in the past few months Dad would spend time reading Mourning Has Broken to his lady friend, Dawna. (Can you think of a cuter pair than one named Don and Dawna?) I would like to believe that actually reading about my life, and my perceptions of how things unfolded, has probably helped him to understand me more than he ever has. That’s a nice place to be at this point in both our lives. 
 
Today we celebrate Dad’s 86th birthday. And it is indeed a happy one. After surgery for prostate cancer some 20 years ago, he’s been doing just great health-wise. He’s been an endless source of strength when it comes to watching him do the right thing – including picking up the pieces after his wife of 55 years, my mother, passed away 7 years ago – and he has led more by example than by decree. For that, I am grateful.
 
In a recent interview on David Letterman’s second season of his Netflix show, Ellen DeGeneres said something that made me nod in recognition: she said that her dad wasn’t big with praise or compliments. He’d say things like, “Oh, Mr. Smith said that he really likes your show” or “So-and-So says you’re doing very well…” (and I paraphrase) and that’s a lot of how Dad was with my career as he and Mom watched from Brighton, Ontario and friends would pass along clippings or tell him they’d seen me somewhere on TV. But in the past three months he’s giggled during our phone calls and been excited for the progress of my book, cheering me on. Perhaps part of that comes with Dawna’s added perspective?
 
As we spend this day together in BC’s beautiful interior, I’ll be grateful to have my dad with us in good health and spirits, of mostly sound mind and in the kind of physical shape that makes me grateful for all of the years he would diligently take his daily walk, listening to military marches on his iPod. On top of all of that, my three sisters and I have been lucky to have a father who’s adamant about taking care of his after-life arrangements, even to the point of having his headstone in his front hall closet (engraved with all but a final year)! 
 
Yep – that’s Dad. I love him dearly and am so grateful for all he is, all he’s been and all we get to celebrate today. Because that’s a lot.
 
Back with you here tomorrow.
 

Ahhhhhh…what a weekend! I don’t even know where to start except at the beginning of it: flying into Ottawa on Thursday night and spending three amazing days with a certain little man and his parents.
 
There were trips accompanying a sweet boy on a plastic tricycle to a nearby playground, hours shared in sand and on slides and, of course, storybooks and cuddles. He’s such a happy little boy and I’ll have to hold those sweet, sweaty, sandy memories in my heart for the next several months until we see and hold him once again in the fall, by which time we’ll hope to meet his new little sister.
 
Brooke is holding up well and may be one of the few Ontarians to be wishing away the summer. Bring on October! She and I had long talks that went well into the night (and even the early, early morning), we spent spa time together doing some pampering before she’s doing more Pampering, if you know what I mean, and I continue to count the reasons to be grateful to have her in our, Colin and Phil’s lives. As I said when I announced their great news a few weeks back, she’s proven herself to be a wonderful mother already and we’re so looking forward to seeing a newborn in her already-full arms. 
 
Although we FaceTimed with Grandad Banana every day, we sure did miss Rob. But with a mountain of firewood to split and an equally tall pile of chores to take care of, and with no paying events per se, it just didn’t make practical sense for him to fly with me on this visit. 
 
Today, as I subtly brush away tears during the AC flight’s taxi to the Ottawa runway, the plane will be taking me towards more family: I’ll land in Calgary and then transfer to a flight to Kelowna, where my dad and two of my sisters reside. Rob will be taking a ferry over from Vancouver Island and driving through the mountains to meet me at YLW. Tomorrow is Dad’s 86th birthday and I’m told we’ll have an early dinner and then hit up my niece’s school concert. 
 
In the meantime, both Rob and I have asked what the heck we are going to do about watching the Raptors game tonight! I think I land at about 11 pm Eastern Time and the game and series could well be pretty much over by then…so I don’t know how it’ll all work out. I’m so sorry not to be in a position to witness history tonight, if indeed the Raptors do pull off another big win, but I’ll sure be cheering along.
 
Maybe I can catch some of the game while waiting at the Calgary airport, but I think it’s only an hour-long layover. But poor Rob will be driving through mountains. Wouldn’t you know it? And just when we’d gotten such comfy seats on the bandwagon! 
 
Meantime, this tweet from @dayslikethese sums it all up perfectly. I may have a handful of years on this Toronto Star editor, but I couldn’t agree with her more. 
 

 
Have a great day, GO RAPTORS, and I’ll be back with you here tomorrow. (Oh, and for Lynne P. from Newfoundland who wrote and asked, and to whom I was unable to email in return because of an address problem, those banana sneakers Friday were from Winners.)
 

IS IT FRIDAY YET? Ha! I’m not complaining, but, oh, it’s been a week! One great, busy, wonderful week filled with hugs, laughter, tears and new friends. And, oh, yes, OLD FRIENDS. The best kind.
 
Like the friends we dined with on Wednesday before the Indigo event in rainy Kitchener. At a restaurant near the bookstore, we were joined by Rogers chief meteorologist Jill Taylor (left), my pal Lisa Brandt and, on the far right, afternoon host on CHYM in Kitchener, Adele Newton.
 

 
We laughed so hard that a table of ladies behind us decided to move. We were sorry-not-sorry and glad to have had a little time together to catch up.
 
How lucky I was to have someone as talented and sincere as Adele interview me onstage at Indigo!
 

 

 
She asked probing and heartfelt questions and I felt humbled by the comments and questions from people in the audience who, themselves, are travelling the path of grief. It was a wondrous evening filled with honesty and great compassion and caring.
 
Perhaps the greatest moments came in the office in the back of the store when Kim, the manager of this particular store (to my right in the picture below), told me her story of loss and what Mourning Has Broken meant to her. It warmed my heart and gave Lisa and me so much to think about as we made our way home via the near-empty rainy highways (thank you, Raptors) back to Markham, where we’d made our home base for the week.
 

 
There aren’t enough words to praise the people who helped make this week’s events such successes: from Michelle Butterly on Monday to Mike Cooper, David Blackwell, Julia Suppa and Beverly Thomson (pictured below) at the Markham Stouffville Hospital events on Tuesday…
 

 
…from Adele Newton Wednesday in Kitchener and the team from Matthews House Hospice and Kevin Frankish (pictured below) who helped make yesterday’s event at Tangle Creek such a hit with his “Donahue”-style dashing with the cordless mic. His questions were dynamic, heartfelt and perfect and it was an absolute honour to meet the 200 people who came to hear what we had to say during lunch in the beautiful verdant setting of a sunny golf course yesterday.
 

 
As I finish writing this, I’m folded into a seat on a small prop plane getting ready to take me to Ottawa. If not for this ticket, I’d be wearing these and walking – no, running – to be with Colin.
 

 
Grama Banana’s on her way. It’s been a fantastic week and I am grateful – so grateful – to everyone who made this all possible. Most of all, to Allan Bell, who coordinated Markham and Matthews House, my accommodations and even getting me to the airport! And to Lisa Brandt, Thelma to my Louise this week, who drove, supported, encouraged and laughed with me day after day. How lucky I am to have a sister like her!
 
Have a beautiful weekend and enjoy the sunshine. I’ll be back with a different kind of glow on Monday. And thank you. This whole experience is like a house burning down, but out of its ashes rises a tree that is bearing just the sweetest fruit.
 
Here’s to joy.
 
Oh, and by the way, if you’re planning to take advantage of this super weather with a garage sale, check out what I put together for Walmart this week. Have a great weekend!
 

I’m going to pause in the midst of this week, this frenetic, joyous, travel-filled week, to look at a picture much bigger than the ones I’ve shared with you over the past few days.
 
Tomorrow I’ll be back to bringing you special moments of meeting with people and sharing stories of love and friendship, of common bonds and new connections. 
 
Today my thoughts are with those who lost loved ones and with those who gave so much of their lives on this date in 1944. There can be no way to add to the comprehensive and indelible remembrances of these hours, these days, on a beach in France, where bravery, they said, wasn’t the courage of getting off the boat first, but being the second line to step off after seeing what had happened to your brothers in arms who’d been shot down before your eyes.
 
I’m humbled and in awe of the sacrifices that we mark today and am proud to share with you something I wrote on the 60th anniversary of this day. I’ll be back here to wrap up the week tomorrow.
 
We will never forget. 

This is the first year of my life that I think I’ve had a true appreciation, or have begun to understand the kind of sacrifices that were made by Canadians during times of both war and peace around the world in a military capacity. It was because of the sixtieth anniversary of D-Day, and the fact that there were so many really quality television productions centering on the day itself. Although it was one day of horrors in one war, it gave me a perspective I’m ashamed to admit I never had. Imagine. Me, coming from a military family (father and sister, plus two uncles and a brother-in-law all in the armed forces) and everything. Now, I probably spent more time at the cenotaph in Ottawa than most kids did, but really, the whole experience of war, or marching off to the possibility of losing a limb, a mind, a life or one’s innocence never hit home.

It’s dangerous to generalize, but here goes: generally speaking, few of us under the age of 50 have the knowledge that we should have about Canadians’ sacrifices. There are two generations of Canadians who have never seen their fathers, uncles, husbands, brothers – and yes, their female counterparts – marching off to war. They’ve never felt the personal loss (with the exception, of course, of our countrymen and women who have died as peacekeepers) and therefore have little connection to the tremendous hardships they endured in the defense of their nation. Were it not for the graphic and horrific opening half hour of Saving Private Ryan, it’s very safe to assume that most of us would have even less concept of just what kind of hell war really is.

I was amazed to learn this year that Canadians were not drafted in World Wars I and II until the final year of each war, and for the most part, by the time those conscriptions were processed, the wars had ended. They simply signed up and left because it was the right thing to do. For King and Country, no doubt. Many never returned: over 115,000 Canadians lost their lives in the two World Wars and Korea, robbing a young country of so much promise. But in its place, a different kind of promise was made that we will never forget. For this reason I am opposed to November 11 being turned into a holiday. If not for school assemblies and the efforts made by our schools to give at least an inkling of understanding to their students about the significance of the day, there’s little doubt no heed would be paid to the day at all.

We owe it to the men and women of our grandparents’ and parents’ generations to remember why they took part in wars, why so many gave so much, not for glory, not for medals, but for Canada. For peace. For the sake of doing the right thing and the right thing for us now is to remember them, to learn about their lives, their deaths, their wars, their losses and their triumphs and to be grateful. Ever grateful. 

What a day, what a day. I’m writing to you between shows: we had a 2 pm performance of our Reclaiming Joy program at Markham Theatre yesterday. It went so well and I am so grateful.
 
This is me before the show and during rehearsal – feeling very zen and ready to go. 
 

 
How could I feel anything but comfortable and at home among so many friends and a truly welcoming audience? The 2 pm show – an afterthought that sold another 200 tickets for Markham Stouffville Hospital – was well attended and my former radio partner Mike Cooper and I were delighted to talk, to laugh, to cry a little and to answer questions from the audience.
 
We even had a little dance during the playing of Lauren’s version of “Dream a Little Dream of Me” that closed the afternoon. Then we entered the audience to see people out and hug them on the way. 
 

 
All in all (and I can’t say how last night’s event with Bev Thomson went, but I will here tomorrow) it was terrific. When I’m asked why I wrote the book, events like yesterday’s (and today’s at Indigo in Kitchener at 7 pm with Adele Newton of CHYM) are why: to spread the word that there is hope, there is love and there is always a chance of life after loss and joy. Always joy.
 

 
Lisa and I are having a terrific time spending so many hours together (despite her blog yesterday about the spider who spied her in our room – which was actually a painting LOL – see her blog at voiceoflisabrandt.com for the story) and I guarantee you that before last night was over, we’d all had a lot of laughs in the bar at our hotel. It was wonderful to share some hours and camaraderie with my dear friends Lisa, Allan Bell of Markham Stouffville Hospital Foundation and, of course, Mike Cooper and I am counting my blessings today all the way to Kitchener. 
 
Take good care and I’ll be back with you tomorrow. Thanks for coming along on this wonderful little road trip.