Erin's Journals

Welcome to another day of journaling long distance. While Mike and I are hosting our AMA Waterways Tulip Time Cruise, I’ve written a fresh blog here for you. Today we’re in Middelburg, Netherlands and I promise pictures and stories for you from Europe when we return next week, okay? Thanks for understanding.
 
There are a lot of great sayings about not judging a book by its cover (including that one itself) but one of my favourites has to be the one above. And nowhere was that more evident than some recent challenges for Rob that had people coming to entirely the wrong conclusion.
 
It all began several years ago when Rob had an attack of pancreatitis. In that it happened at the end of the Christmas hoidays while we were at our Minden cottage, the staff at our closest hospital figured he’d overindulged in the alcohol department and they weren’t going to give him any kind of pain killers. He suffered – and anyone who has had pancreatitis knows how terribly, awfully painful it is – while it was just assumed that he suffered from alcoholism.
 
Many, many months (and a few attacks later) a doctor in Toronto diagnosed it for the rare condition it was and is: pancreas divisum, a congenital anomaly, and fixed it, thank goodness.
 
Then just last month – not to dwell on poor ol’ Rob, but this is about him, too – he got some cream prescribed by his dermatologist for his previously cancerous nose. This stuff, called Efudex (which can also be injected for different types of cancers), is to be applied to the place of concern for two straight weeks and – to oversimplify here – if there are cancerous cells there, they are prevented from dividing.
 
In the case of his skin, the cream would eventually cause those cells to flake off. But in the weeks before that happened, Rob’s nose, on which he’d had surgery in the past for skin cancer, became terribly discoloured. It turned a very deep red and he was embarrassed to be seen sporting such a rosy, sore-looking schnozz. Of course, cancer is worse than some embarrassment, to be sure, but Rob knew it looked as though he was a full-time drinker. Again with the alcohol, right?
 

 
Now, I take you to the nurse in the clinic where he was having his colonoscopy. After reading about pancreatitis in his chart and looking at Rob’s nose, she admitted that she right away thought “alcoholic.” It was an easy assumption to make and she was grateful to learn, not only about Efudex, but also about this pancreas divisum condition. She’d not heard of it before.
 
We’re glad to be able to enlighten people at every turn. But it also served as a really good reminder to me and everyone else that not everything is as it appears. I remember my friend Lisa was furious when her dad, who suffered from Parkinson’s disease, was presumed to be driving drunk. Here’s his story in Lisa’s words:

Dad was driving one evening and he swerved to avoid a deer. (Yes, you’re not supposed to swerve, but he swerved.) He landed in the ditch and his pickup ended up against a fence. The fence jammed his door and he was unable to get out. Instead of helping get him out, the attending police officer questioned him while he was trapped, assuming he was drunk. 
 
My Dad was agitated (for obvious reasons!) and his hands were shaking (Parkinson’s) and he was in his 70s at the time. Instead of having any compassion and assisting my Dad, the cop ignored his pleas and acted like he was on an episode of Law and Order. The thought of my Dad, helpless, feeling unsafe in his vehicle, and no one helping him out, still makes me angry. 

I guess if you were to ask the cop, you’d hear that he sees so many drivers who have been drinking that he just put two and two together and made what would most often be a logical connection.
 
But for the rest of us, it reminds me of the old saying (which I still remember from TV’s The Odd Couple because seeing ASS on the television was something I couldn’t wrap my young head around): “When You Assume, you make an ASS of U and ME.” So true. It’s so easy to add things up and, not only come to the wrong conclusion, but find yourself on the wrong page altogether. Just a thought.
 
Glad you’re on this page, though, and I’ll have a new journal for you here again tomorrow.
 

As you read this, we will have just spent our first night aboard the AMAStella on AMA Waterways. As I mentioned here Friday, Mike Cooper, my husband Rob and I are hosting a group of former listeners and future friends aboard this river boat which travels from Amsterdam down to Antwerp, Belgium and back up to Amsterdam. We fly home on Sunday.
 
Today, according to our itinerary, we’re going to Hoorn, where we stop for a few hours. Later we’re off to Middelburg, Netherlands. Wednesday we arrive in Ghent, Belgium for a day of tours and exploring; Thursday we dock in Antwerp and then Friday we hit up three places in the Netherlands: Rotterdam, Kinderdijk and Schoonhoven. Then we return to Amsterdam and disembark on Sunday.
 
We laughed out loud when Rob figured that, according to Google Maps, when you type in our destinations in order, it calculated that it would take us 8 hours 26 minutes to drive! That’s how close everything in Europe is, when you think about it.
 

 
I mean, back in 2004 when I was “between jobs,” we made it a point to see as much of Europe as we could as a little family. Rob, Lauren and I booked two bus trips back-to-back and managed to see 16 countries in a month. (I tell a few stories from that time in Mourning Has Broken.) We’ve counted our blessings repeatedly for having had the finances and the time to take that July trip.
 
Lauren was able to give the subjects she studied in school so much context (she was 13 when we went) while we all got to make memories together in close proximity. How we loved that time with her! While Lauren was weary of cathedrals, churches and museums by the time the trip was over, she’d also witnessed Bastille Day fireworks in Paris and made all kinds of wonderful memories. In fact, she returned to England and Amsterdam on her honeymoon in 2013.
 
Because I’m not entirely sure about WiFi on the boat (although I’m told it’s just great) and time zones are bound to mess me up in terms of posting correctly, I’ve got a week’s worth of fresh journals that are ready to go in the coming days. When we return to Canada next week (actually we fly in on Sunday afternoon), I’ll have pictures and stories for you here – not enough so you’re resentful you didn’t come, but just enough so you’ll feel like you’ve been travelling with us, or might want to do this if we plan a trip together in the future. How does that sound?
 
Take good care and we’ll be back with you here tomorrow with the story of something pretty awful that showed up on Rob…and the lesson that you can never judge a book by its cover – or a man by his nose.
 

Welcome to Friday. Once again our suitcases are open and laid out on a guest room bed; Molly senses something’s up, but we have a house sitter who will be with her from the time we leave tomorrow morning until we get back next Sunday afternoon. As you probably know, Rob and I are joining Mike Cooper for a river cruise with AMA Waterways.
 
It’s called Tulip Time and we’ll be helping to host a 7-night cruise to and from Amsterdam. I’ll have snippets of the itinerary in next week’s journals, but we’re happy to be sharing this time with some 51 former CHFI listeners and journal visitors (and even a few like Mary Larin and Bill & Andrea Bates, who won trips with us back in the day) as we take a scenic cruise through, as the brochure puts it, “Amsterdam’s legendary canals, past elegant narrow buildings and the house where Anne Frank once lived in hiding.”
 
Rob and I had been looking forward to taking the daily cycling excursions (the boat, the AMAStella has its own – and helmets, of course) but the weather’s looking rainy and chilly. However, we’ll make the most of it, wandering the serpentine cobblestone streets of medieval cities like Antwerp, Ghent and Bruges.
 
One of the things to which we most look forward is spending time with our sweet friend Mike Cooper. For a time, when Debbie’s long and valiant fight with cancer was coming to its sad and long-foreseen conclusion, he let us know he just couldn’t see coming along. He was unable to envision a future of doing anything, never mind travelling, without his life’s companion. And yet, here he is. We never gave up hope and, once again, he found his.
 
Mike’s taking part in this river cruise as much for himself and his own spirits as he is for all of us. And I know it’s going to be a good week all around. That’s what friends do for each other; we are there to hold each other when we can’t catch a breath from laughing so completely, or crying so hard.
 
In many ways, you’ve been like that for me here and it’s for that reason that I have a confession to make: I have had to clear out some emails. Actually, a lot of emails.
 
Two weeks ago, Rob and I switched out this computer:
 

 
….for a new one.
 

 
As much as I owed my old one for all it had seen me through over the past several years, I was tired of seeing the rainbow-wheel-of-doom spinning endlessly when I was trying to save or send. We recently both upgraded our computers and, after the migration, I came across literally thousands of messages from the past two or three years, marked as unread. I know for sure there was none that had not been read and I really need to tell you that. But, I’m sorry to say, there are a few hundred where I’m not sure if I responded.
 
Many came in when I announced in November 2016 that I was retiring. More came in the following month when I left Toronto. When Debbie Cooper passed away last October, there was another thick and wide blanket of warm wishes to envelop us, but with travel and the work obligations that followed Deb’s funeral, I simply did not answer all of them; I just wasn’t able to do it in a timely manner. But your support and kindness were appreciated.
 
So here it is: please forgive me if you’re still hoping for an answer to any emails. It’s likely that if you sent something prior to 2019, you will not get a response, and that pains me. But I have to do something to get my head above water. (Perhaps heading out on a river cruise I could use a different term…but anyway….)
 
I have come up with a system of colour coding emails so that people who are writing with their stories of bereavement are first to be answered. That said, there are some souls who wrote to me at the end of February to whom I have not yet written back. It’s not that I don’t know what to say, but I want to take the time to say it right.
 
For everyone else, yes, your emails matter to me as much now as they always have. I do apologize if there are long periods between your writing and my response. As we head out tomorrow to fly from Victoria to Vancouver to Amsterdam, I will be spending less time answering emails than usual. So I’ll beg your understanding and, again, forgiveness if I don’t answer. Know that I have read your note…I always do.
 
Next week: all new journals. Feel free always to comment on my FB page and have a fantastic weekend. And thank you!
 

Before we get into today’s journal, I just wanted to share with you my post for Walmart this week. In our house, April is always brightened by a certain birthday, but there’s no reason why you can’t bring some spring into your place, via the best possible April Showers!
 
One of Rob’s and my favourite birthday memories is when I booked a suite at the then-Skydome Hotel and invited friends over for snacks and to watch an Opening Day Blue Jays game! We had a great time – lots of laughs and fun – until we tried to sleep there that night and had to listen to leaf blowers cleaning popcorn out of the seating area. It was brutal – but still memorable. Suffice to say, I was plenty pooped for the radio show the next day!
 
For lots of wonderful baseball memories told by a man who watched and shared the best moments with us all, I can’t recommend highly enough a new book by longtime Blue Jays radio broadcaster Jerry Howarth. His new memoir, Hello, Friends: Stories from my Life and Blue Jays Baseball, is filled with tales of encounters and conversations with players, as well as his own journey to broadcasting fame (with plenty of pitfalls and tears along the way). Jerry, of course, was one half of the famous Tom (Cheek) & Jerry Blue Jays broadcast duo and he’s an exceptional writer and story-teller. 
 
As both a broadcaster and a fan of Jerry, one of my favourite anecdotes in the book is how, in his minor-league days, he would be joined in his booth by the stadium organist. A big fan of the game, she was visually impaired and counted on Jerry to tell her what was happening on the field, between her stints at the keyboard. From that day forward, Jerry always called play-by-play for Ginny, the baseball fan who couldn’t see the field. If that isn’t a perfect analogy for radio, then what is?
 
In 2015, Jerry reached out to Rob and to me the day after Lauren died so that he could share his own family tragedy – the passing of a niece, also in her sleep – and console us. I’ve never forgotten that vast kindness and generosity. So when we were connected this year by former Jays broadcaster (and now afternoon host on Sauga960 AM) Barry Davis, Jerry and I picked up where we left off – which was with a huge hug and kiss in Seattle two summers ago.
 

 
We decided to send each other’s book (do you know it costs $27 to mail a book to Ontario????) and have been writing back and forth. Jerry’s a hoot – he’ll write to me and cite pages and paragraphs and his jokes and insight about them. As we’ve continued to connect, we’ve had such a lovely experience. And as his book continues to climb the bestsellers’ list, we’re chirping at each other like teammates going for the same record…he’s planning on unseating me, and so on.
 

 
The photo above is courtesy: joseph michael photography / info@josephmichael.ca / instagram @photojoecanada. Now, as much as I would hate for anyone to BUY THIS BOOK for Father’s Day (ahem) and for Jerry to surpass me in sales, I’ll give him this plug and this space! Don’t you dare pass me, Jerry!
 
I’m kidding, of course. We’ve had a wonderful time going through this experience together and I wish him every success. This American-born Canadian citizen left his beloved play-by-play job due to complications from surgery: a tube down his throat during prostate cancer treatment left him with injured vocal cords. 
 
Now he enjoys time on the field, more time at home in the GTA with a beautiful grandson (of whom he sends pictures every now and then) and with his wife Mary. He has two grown sons and I am grateful to Joe for taking that lovely shot of Jerry with both of our books. Thanks, Jerry. Getting to know you – through your book and our friendship online – has been a real pleasure and an honour.
 
With love and thanks (and yeah, good luck with your book)…
 

I’ve never ever claimed this space was a news column and, thankfully, it’s been a long time since anyone wrote in a huff and asked why I wasn’t commenting on this or that. That having been said, I’m at a total loss as to what is happening in Ottawa or at Queen’s Park these days. But especially Ottawa. Rob and I have been reading up on SNC Lavalin to try to understand just what’s happened (and keeping up is a challenge with the daily additions, subtractions and interpretations) and how things have gotten to where they are now.
 
I know we’re not alone in our search for the truth and not the so-called “facts” as one party or another projects them. In fact, when you type “SNC Lavalin” into Google (as I did yesterday to make sure I had the right number of Ls happening here) the sentence was completed by the two words “For Dummies.” One thing this dummy knows for sure: I need to learn more about this from people who didn’t hate Trudeau to begin with.
 
I am trying hard these days to adhere to the wise words of a prayer that I’ve often cited here: 

God Grant me the Serenity to Accept the Things
I Cannot Change
Courage to Change the Things I Can
And Wisdom to Know the Difference.

In the past week or so, Rob has frequently reminded me of these words to the “Serenity Prayer,” as I’ve been really down about the lack of transparency in terms of the Mueller Report. Rob said it again as we watched a teary Kevin Pillar depart the Blue Jays, the only pro team he’s ever known, as management who claim to be building have systematically dispatched any player whose name graced a fan’s jersey.
 
And so I change the things I can. I’ll watch the Jays, but won’t go to another country to do it (as we did two years ago); I’ll cheer, but I won’t cry. Same with the Leafs. I will vote in the next election (even a local one for council that’s happening here in our area next week when we’re away; we will vote in advance tomorrow) and I’ll do the research and read more than just the writers with whom I agree. Truly that is literally The Wisdom to Know the Difference.
 
Tomorrow: a lovely man I’ve gotten to know better since we’ve both had our books published. Enjoy this day.