Erin's Journals

Just a thought… Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for kindness. [Seneca]

Okay – so it’s Monday. I know this for a fact because I have a noon appointment outside the house (first outing that didn’t involve a poo bag in well over a month) and it’s garbage day! This is how we measure our weeks now. The things that used to get in the way are now the only things on the horizon. At least, from here, for now.

Well, what were you doing last night? I’m going to be honest with you: I was almost reluctant to tune in for the #StrongerTogether broadcast/fundraiser for Foodbanks Canada. After all, we’d seen two such shows (one in BC, one in the US) on back-to-back nights, and then last Friday’s beautiful Nova Scotia Strong presentation. I felt a little emotionally exhausted from it all.

But, boy, am I glad I watched! From Sarah McLachlan to Alessia Cara, Pascal Siakam to Tessa Virtue, Mike Myers to Eugene & Dan Levy, the worlds of sports, TV/movies and music came together from coast to coast to coast to bring Canadians, not only some excellent entertainment, but a continuing message to stay home, stay safe.

Of course, the underlying theme of the entire one hour, 34 minute show (made long, I have to believe, by Drake’s last-minute addition – even after the PM’s “lean on each other” tie-in to the terrific finale) was a salute to those who are out every day doing their jobs so that we can stay sheltered and hopefully keep up our end of the deal.

Here’s where you can donate if, like us, you tried to text or log in last night and found the system couldn’t complete the transaction. How wonderful that it was so overloaded with Canadians’ generosity. If you gave up, please try again. Here’s the link.

Foodbanks’ needs will never go away and they’re necessary now more than ever. Remember that they can make a dollar go at least three times as far as each of us can. And thank you. Rob and I will be trying again today, too.

As always, it was wonderful to see our friend Rick Mercer at the top and tail of the show. But it was Jann Arden’s “Sleepless” that made me emotional. Memories of times with her, including her morning performance as we watched a ship on the horizon passing our winners’ resort in Jamaica in 2003. The sincerity and beauty with which she sang then as she did last night.

Just a feeling of joy and comfort, bringing me back to the theme of Saturday’s journal about the power of music. Oh, and speaking of weekend posts….

Thank you to each and every person who commented on FB yesterday about the social-distancing family bubble conundrum I wrote about in the journal. Most people have the same concerns about choice A or B that I did. Thankfully, for a lot of us, it hasn’t come to this.

But, oh, what I wouldn’t do to spend some real time with Colin and his sweet baby sister and parents! Just to cuddle and kiss and do the things we miss. Yesterday, Colin told us that when we come, we’ll watch Toy Story (definitely not called Toy Story 1, he reminds us). This is one of our favourite family traditions already. Thank you, Pixar.

Here at home, we’re wobbling on when to treat ourselves to the just-released second season of Ricky Gervais’ incredible – but far too short – Netflix offering After Life, wherein his character, Tony, has lost his wife of 25 years and decides to be as big a jerk as he can before he takes his own life.

It’s touching, funny, dirty and profane, and – like Ricky himself – definitely not for everyone. But we found ourselves in his character. The one who gradually comes to the realization, thanks to an older widow (played by the marvelous Penelope Wilton from Downton Abbey) with whom he spends time while they visit their respective spouses’ graves, that happiness is a gift.

It’s one that we are obliged to try to share with others to make their lives a little better. And that message is one that Rob and I have taken to heart for the past nearly five years. Every day we find ways to try to reclaim joy and to keep going, just as Tony’s wife encourages him to do through videos she shot without her husband’s knowledge while in the hospital, knowing she was not going to survive.

It’s that urging to go onward for those who remain; that question we often return to that I mention in the book: “Mom, what did you do with your life after I left?” that makes us work to find an answer that makes her proud and helps us find that happiness in every day.

Thanks for being here with me and I wish you a gentle, healthy Monday. Do something that makes you happy. Make your angels proud, too.

Just a thought… Smart people learn from everything and everyone, average people from their experiences, stupid people already have all of the answers. [Socrates]

Boy, does this situation give me questions! Here we go.

Rob was reading me a story yesterday and it got us both to thinking about the choices – and their aftermath – that could arise from this “new normal” for our neighbours down east.

In New Brunswick, they have taken a gradual step into returning to normal socializing. Here’s the move, expected to last some two to four weeks, and I’m going to be curious as to what your reaction is.

This big initiative involves the loosening of physical distancing restrictions with the allowing of two-household gatherings: people can choose one other household to partner with, to establish a “two-family bubble.” BUT it’s more complicated than it sounds: their choice must be mutual and, once they decide, they cannot choose a different household. “No take backs.”

Follow me here: once household A chooses to be with household B, the occupants of B cannot choose to partner or bubble with household C. It’s a two-way only arrangement. And remember, it HAS to be MUTUAL.

So here are some of the Solomon’s Choice issues that come up for us – see if they do for you.

Say we choose our Aunt and Uncle who live fairly close to us, and we ask them to become our B. We love them and they love us, but we don’t know for a fact that we’d be their B, if you know what I mean! They have longtime friends who live nearby and share their history, and are often in each other’s company.

So, if we chose them, it might very well place them in an awkward spot if they wanted to opt for someone else. We’d have to say, “Okay, no hard feelings,” suck it up and promise we’ll get together – which we have – as soon as this quarantining comes to an end.

All right. Then, say we choose our friends in Sidney, the oft-mentioned and much-loved Charles and Nancy. We miss them like crazy! But they have a daughter who lives nearby and she has children. Who wouldn’t choose a daughter and grandkids first? So…we’d get a big “no thanks” from them, too, after also putting them in an awkward position. Best not to ask, really.

Which leaves our solo friend, and who knows if we’d be her B. She would actually be farther up Charles and Nancy’s list than we would, and deservedly so, but she’d likely be pushed down by the aforementioned grandkids, too. So, we might all wonder why we were with someone when we weren’t their first choice.

It reminds me of the feeling in school when everyone had a “best friend.” I don’t think I was ever anyone’s bestie and whether that has to do with my own personality (LOL?) or the fact that I always just seemed to be parachuting into a new school as an armed forces kid, I don’t know.

But for what it’s worth, Rob says he was never anybody’s #1 either. Does this mean there are more people out there like us, or are we a special kind of loser, who happened to be drawn to our own kind? How lucky we are!

The choices being made by New Brunswickers (now marking several days without a new case of COVID-19) could put them in a different kind of uncomfortable situation as they face decisions that may, at worst, leave scars and, at best, need some explaining. Interestingly, this social experiment (which would make for a great book one day by someone, I’m sure, and I’d call it #Awkward) has already begun in New Zealand.

If you want to comment, please go to facebook.com/erindavispage so everyone can share.

Have a gentle day – don’t forget the special on all Canadian TV channels tonight featuring music and messages from homegrown celebrities in support of front line workers during the pandemic. There are sure to be some memorable moments and we join them all in unending – but thankfully not unsung – gratitude.

Just a thought… Music is the moonlight in the gloomy night of life. [Jean Paul Friedrich Richter]

It never ceases to amaze me what power music can have.

I know that sounds simplistic – who hasn’t felt better or sadder when a certain song came on the radio – but at no time has that thought been brought home more often than during the past seven days.

Last Friday here, our local station CHEK put together what they called a “living room concert for Vancouver Island.” Remarkably well done in every way, the 90-minute fundraiser, which was hosted by the news team (which is what seems to be a tight, friendly family themselves) the show featured performances from the names you see below, and a few messages from sponsors, celebrities and political leaders.

It was uplifting, entertaining and – although I hesitate to say it – more touching than the US show the following night for the WHO. We were mightily impressed by our local show; we turned it on thinking it would be a well-intentioned, hastily-assembled telethon (and not of Easter Seals-type quality), but we were flat out wrong. It was a great show and if you have the time, enjoy the show here.

I was struck by the incredible difference in yesterday’s Nova Scotia Remembers event. In theory, the two shows were similar: both were put together to share music and messages in a time of hardship.

But while Rock for Relief was a celebration of hope and inspiration, yesterday’s special nationwide broadcast which emanated from Nova Scotia was a virtual vigil to offer healing and solace in the wake of last weekend’s horrific murders in the province we’ve always known as Canada’s Ocean Playground.

There was one very similar, underlying theme though: gratitude. Here on our island, almost as far as one part of Canada gets from Nova Scotia, the plea last week was for generosity during these hard times for so many. There was also a loud message of gratitude to those who have given so much so that we can be safe and healthy during a pandemic.

But in the vigil yesterday we also saw gratitude: for the lives that each of these souls lived. For the sacrifice made by RCMP Constable Stevenson. For the comfort that Canadians and others around the world are sending at this time of unimaginable pain.

Through it all, the thread that wove each of these special presentations together was the healing power of music. Whether simply picking an acoustic guitar, playing the bagpipes on a sullen shore or singing while sitting at a piano, every person who contributed touched our hearts with their own gifts.

No one who saw – or sees this now – will forget this performance, though. Troy, Nova Scotia’s own Natalie MacMaster – long recognized as a Canadian and international fiddling treasure – played along with Emily Tuck, one of the victims of last week’s madness. You can watch it here.

The original recording of the 17 year-old, whose parents were also murdered, was made during what was called their “COVID Kitchen Party” in Portapique. So recent – and yet literally a lifetime ago. And though Emily now is gone, I hope that her extended family and fellow Nova Scotians find the same comfort in listening to her music that we have felt in the five years of hearing, over and over, our daughter’s sharing of her own gifts.

That is the power of music.

Just a thought… There are three kinds of men: The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves. [Will Rogers]

Today: a few lighter moments, but first, a tale of cautionary measures. One of them is admittedly not scientific but anecdotal and may have just been a thin slice of time that we observed, but I wanted to share what happened with Rob this week.

On Wednesday he went out for a few grocery necessities. He went to a village near us, Saanichton, and there was a lineup outside the store. Given that it was raining and he needed only a few things, he opted not to join those getting wet as they waited. He did notice that the people of Saanichton were observing the hockey stick rule (the distance we should stay from each other) before driving to our closest little town, the beautiful Sidney by the Sea.

Outside one store, he observed another lineup, so chose to shop at a different spot. No line at Save On, so in he went. And what he saw in the store surprised him. From what he could figure, fewer than 10% of people were wearing masks; the only person he noticed wearing one – as he was – was the cashier, who was also behind plexiglass.

Sidney is a small town set on the ocean (as you may have guessed by the name I mentioned above). A great many of its residents are seniors who’ve moved there to enjoy the view, the quieter pace and the small-town joys we have come to love in better times: a weekly outdoor market with live music and farm stands, restaurants with sidewalk dining, piers and fresh fish.

In the past few days, BC has seen another increase in the number of COVID-19 cases. While the island numbers are blessedly low, just the fact that so many of our residents are in the age group that has been hit so hard (albeit in senior care homes) the absence of masks left us baffled.

Are we letting down our collective guard? Why on earth weren’t more people wearing masks? We are and, for the foreseeable future, we will. And the first person who makes a comment ridiculing us will wish they had on a hockey mask.

Anyway, that’s what has been on my mind for the last couple of days.

On a much lighter note: my roots. I could stand my three-month growth no longer – even though Rob kept asking, “Who is going to see you?” – and got busy with my Root Rescue kit from L’Oreal yesterday.

Once again, as it always does between hair appointments, it did its magic. And to answer Rob, I don’t care who sees it: it’s for my own good! Makes me wonder, though, if salons will notice fewer colour appointments when this is over, as people come to realize they can do some of the tricks themselves?

Of course, I’ll say here that I could never do as good a job as the pros who’ve had me in their chairs over the years. But there may be some women (and, yes, men) who decide that they are happy to go natural.

I did have to laugh yesterday as I remembered a snarky dog groomer admonishing me for trimming Molly’s face (and doing an admittedly bad job at it) a few years ago. She said, “Would you cut your own hair?” and now the answer is yes. Yes, I would. Or at least I’d let Rob do it.

I haven’t put on makeup except for a swipe of lipstick in weeks. My skin is grateful, but I miss mascara. (Have you noticed how many makeup ads are popping up on social media websites? I think the cosmetics folks are hurting now, as is most everyone, while the hair product sector is likely soaring. Literally a growth industry.)

The very rare visitor we have – a neighbour, a friend dropping off some surprise or someone coming to get paid for replanting a tree – has seen us in almost every pajama combination we have. And we’re not even embarrassed anymore – no matter the time of day! We do get dressed for dog walks, then it’s back into the PJs. As Rob said to me yesterday, “They’re not jammies, this is a flannel pant suit.”

Luckily, we keep each other laughing. And to pass along the favour, my sister sent me a video that I wanted to share. It’s a duo’s take on Simon and Garfunkel and, although I measure every parody song to Randy Rainbow, they did a really good job: true to the original lyrics and meter, excellent musicality and they even manage to pull off looking like the duo.

So enjoy this. Yes, it’s tRump-themed (isn’t everything these days?) but I thought you might appreciate it. And on that note – or those notes – I’ll bid you adieu and be back with you (yieu?) here tomorrow.

Just a thought… Light as feathers, as fleeting as Zephyr, one moment they breathed pink, the next they faded. Cherry blossoms were as much an inspiration for beautiful verse as they were a reminder of life’s fickleness, she thought. [Alice Poon] 

How slow is life for most of us (except for the frontline workers we so appreciate) these days? It’s big news that High Park in Toronto is going to live stream the cherry blossoms, for those for whom the blossoms are a sign of spring and who’ve gotten such joy from taking in the sweet colours and scents of nature’s glory every spring.

We are gleeful to sit in and watch trees blossom! That’s how slow. (And I’m not making fun, most definitely not; just observing with a smile, not a smirk. Hopefully you know me that well by now!)

Here in the Victoria area, near Sidney, we’re in the midst of a much-needed few days of heavy rain. Already up island there have been fires and we’ve had several weeks of sunshine and dryness. So a few days of rain can’t dampen our already admittedly subdued spirits; we’re grateful for the shelter and, except for a daily dog walk and the occasional careful trip for groceries, we have nowhere to go.

Once again, it’s all perspective. We take nothing for granted these days; the news about the cherry blossom live cams reminds us here to look out and appreciate the blossoms. Like the dogwood tree in our yard that is almost in full bloom. Here it is out our kitchen window.

And the pink petals have begun to litter lawns in the most beautiful way. Here’s a picture from the first spring that we lived here when Molly was truly “pretty in pink.”

Sometimes it’s hard to remember that no matter what happens in our country and our world, inside our homes and our hearts, life does indeed go on. So we look for the rainbows, the blossoms, the birds and the beauty. And we just keep going.

Take good care and I’ll be back with you here tomorrow, my friend.