Erin's Journals

Just a thought… Trouble knocked at the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away. [Benjamin Franklin]

It’s been a few days since I thanked you for visiting this journal – so I’m doing it now. My Wednesday morning began as I read the comments in emails and on Facebook about the poem I posted. So many people remember it, had it framed, posted it on the fridge or otherwise bookmarked it. I’m glad “Children Learn What They Live” sparked so many memories.

You were so kind in your comments about Colin and Jane. They brightened my day, just as that picture did when Brooke so kindly shared it with me.

Then things kind of went straight downhill from there with a message marked URGENT from one of my Kelowna, BC sisters. My dad had fallen; he was walking outside his residence when he tripped stepping from the driveway onto the curb. He had a bag in his hand, but it didn’t break his fall: he sustained cuts, bruises and a bite inside his mouth. Luckily, he suffered no broken bones or teeth, but paramedics were called and they took Dad to the hospital for examination.

It was a scary experience for all of us, including Dad’s Dawna, who was with him when he tumbled. He spent time in Emergency at the local hospital and was checked over (including with x-rays). He was given the okay to go home later in the day, and a staffer at his residence promised to check on him during the night and offer him a walker to make his way to his bathroom, if needed.

My sister, who’s a home care nurse, was not allowed to come and stay with him at the residence (we did ask). But as of this writing, all is well.

It was, as I say, frightening to hear of the fall which happened while he was wearing his ever-loving socks and sandals. Despite our admonitions and pleas that he not wear them, Dad’s gonna do what he wants to do, so that’s that. 

We’re grateful he’s all right and wasn’t hurt worse than he was. He was in good hands all day and even through the night, which thankfully wasn’t spent in a hospital bed. No doubt he’s sore today, but he was joking about it on the phone yesterday, so we know his spirits are intact.

Dad’s going to be 87 a week today. We don’t take a day with him for granted. It was definitely a tense situation for a while as we waited for word from the hospital on his condition.

And now, to the funny part – which, with me, there always seems to be.

Thanks to my sister Heather’s suggestion, I have an app on my phone that allows me to swipe in the general vicinity of letters on my keyboard. It completes words and sentences, but for some reason of late – perhaps the speed with which I’m trying to write – it’s been messing things up. Yesterday was almost a fatal error.

I was writing to Dad’s brother and sister-in-law to let them know of his situation. When I heard that he was back in his own bed, safe and sound, I wrote to Laura to let them know. But one swipe of the keyboard just about sent the entirely wrong message. Here’s what was on my screen:

I heard from sister Heather.

He’s gone.

Nooooooo………! Before I sent the message, I gave it one quick glance and saw what I had written. I gasped and edited…

I heard from sister Heather.

He’s home.

…and then hit SEND. But I laughed about it later. Because you have to. That could have gone wrong in all kinds of ways – but thankfully, it didn’t.

Slow down, Davis! That’s me AND my father.

Have a gentle day. I’ll be back with you here tomorrow.

Just a thought… Not everything that is faced can be changed. But nothing can be changed until it is faced. [James Baldwin]

I’m not including this picture simply because it helped raise my seratonin levels, and may do the same for yours (I hope). No, I’m sharing this lovely shot that Brooke, our daughter-in-law, took yesterday of Colin and his now eight-month-old sister Jane, because to me it is a reminder of the tenderness in children’s hearts. How they are not born to hate or to discriminate.

They see differences, of course, because children can be the most oblivious but also the most observant among us – and often without filters. But they are all basically the same. Those differences don’t matter. Unless they are taught otherwise through word or deed, they hug and share and play. Of course they scrap – so do we all. But children see each other’s hearts. Do I want you to be my friend?

From the time our children are born, they thrive as much on love as they do on nutrition. Love from, and for, their parent or parents, their siblings and all of us who make up the village that helps them grow into good, decent, caring and kind human beings.

That picture that popped up on my phone reminded me of a poem that our grade school class performed for parents one night, many decades ago. I now know it was more of a message to the grown-ups than it was to the students delivering it. Each of us took a line we’d memorized and nervously spoke it from the stage, also singing a chorus with these lyrics: “Children learn what they live, children live what they learn. Teach them the way to love in their heart and they will find love in the world.”

It’s a poem by Dorothy Lew Nolte.

Children Learn What They Live

If a child lives with criticism, He learns to condemn.

If a child lives with hostility, He learns to fight.

If a child lives with ridicule, He learns to be shy.

If a child lives with shame, He learns to feel guilty.

If a child lives with tolerance, He learns to be patient.

If a child lives with encouragement, He learns confidence.

If a child lives with praise, He learns to appreciate.

If a child lives with fairness, He learns justice.

If a child lives with security, He learns to have faith.

If a child lives with approval, He learns to like himself.

If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, He learns to find love in the world.

The sentiment is simple but I felt compelled to share it today. So much of what we see played out around us every single day began in our homes as children. How we treat each other; how we treat ourselves.

In poking around to find the song, I came across it on Youtube. It’s from the Desiderata album and, sure enough, it’s the one that we sang. It may sound like it’s some 50 years old – which it is – but, strangely, it gave me comfort. And these days, I’ll take it where I can find it.

May the darkness of these days be followed by a new, enlightened time. I know, I know – it’s a lot to hope for. But I’ll take hope over hatred every time.

Just a thought… When fascism come to America it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross. [Author unknown; often misattributed to Sinclair Lewis]

My friend, I apologize: I don’t know if I have inspiring words or comforting thoughts today. I’m just sick with anxiety as I write this.

Turning off the news – as some, including myself, have suggested at times – is not a realistic option: history is happening in real time. To our friends, our neighbours, our longtime allies and, for many of us, to our family members just a few kilometres away. In a country I can see from my window (at the risk of sounding like Tina Fey).

This is a horrible time of unrest and dissent, of protests both peaceful and violent. Of looting and lunacy. And it’s happening in a country being led by a cowardly, hateful, racist madman.

We can pray and we can hope that somehow saner heads prevail. But those people supposedly in charge had their chance during the impeachment proceedings just a few months ago. When the hearings ended, Republican Senator Susan Collins said she hoped the president had learned a lesson.

He learned it all right: he is without boundaries. Without morals. Without compassion. Without a knowledge of history or a moment of sober second thought.

Without even mentioning the criminal acts committed by some members of the policing community, he is treating his own countrymen and women as “the enemy.”

Daring to stand in the shadow of a beloved church and holding a Bible in his hand, he is cloaking his hatred for free speech and expression, peaceful demonstration and protest of the desperate state of his nation in an all-caps tweeted call for law and order.

With dog whistles as loud as the sirens in the streets, Trump is calling out his 2nd Amendment supporters: the oh-so-brave weapon-wielding protesters we witnessed outside city and state buildings, screaming about their rights to get chicken wings and haircuts, to go shopping, to be free from the safety guidelines put in place to protect them from a virus which has claimed over 100,000 American lives. They called that fascism.

I’ve said before and I’ll say again: Canada is not perfect. We can always get better. But I’ve never been so afraid as I am watching what is happening in the Divided States of America this week.

If you have words that can bring you comfort, I urge you to keep saying them. I am repeating that Serenity Prayer that I shared here yesterday. But I am also heartbroken and terrified for the good people of America. Because we share more than just a border. Today we share compassion. Love. We share our humanity and a plea to turn this into a time for change and rebirth.

Just a thought… Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time. [Thomas Edison]

God, Grant me the Serenity to Accept the Things I Cannot Change,

The Courage to Change the Things I Can,

And the Wisdom to Know the Difference.

You come here to my journal for many reasons and I am grateful, but if you’re like me today, your heart is full of fear, anger and anguish. There are reasons for peace, but there are also reasons to fight – to stand up and shout “enough!”

Those words to the Serenity Prayer are really all I’ve been thinking of during this desperately sad and dangerous time in American history. Not just because the stress of feeling impotent and unable to help is so frustrating, but because I’m asking what change I can make. What we can do as friends and neighbours.

During the past week we have witnessed the most hateful and worst actions in our fellow humans. And we have been shown the absolute best and most hopeful in people as well. Of course, these elements are within each of us every day, but what we see and with whom we side during these tumultuous times depend greatly upon the filters that we’ve grown to view them through in our lifetime. Children are not born racist. Children learn what they live.

This is a time to re-examine those filters. We in Canada are not blameless when it comes to racism and long held prejudices and hatred. But it is still possible to react in horror as our neighbour’s house burns down, even if our own house is in far from perfect shape and in need of renovation. Just as in the case of a virus, we can close our doors to protect ourselves from the worst of what’s happening outside, but we are not immune to that which festers within. Call it “the courage to change the things we can.”

I will tell you that our spirits were brightened by visits with loved ones yesterday – safely and at a distance in both cases. Our morning began with us sipping coffee and reading Colin a book via FaceTime as he enjoyed his lunch; later my aunt and uncle came by and it turned an awful day around. We caught up on family news, had some laughs and felt our inner sparks being rekindled, instead of drowning in the smoldering sadness and anger we’ve been feeling for our friends and neighbours in the US.

For a time, we felt serenity.

It was the gift of family. Of love. Of connecting with those dear to us or reaching out to make sure that people we know in the midst of the unrest are safe and cared for. It was a time for wishing we could make things better, but having the wisdom to know the difference between what we can and cannot do. We have to start somewhere – and it starts at home.

This prayer is holding me fast these days and not only because it’s a building block of AA. But because it reminds me every day of what is important.

Please, June, be gentle. Enough.

Just a thought… Laugh when you can, apologize when you should and let go of what you can’t change. [Author Unknown]

Since it’s Friday, I thought I’d share a few favourite short videos with you and let you know about something to brighten your Friday evening!

I’ll be going live at 7 pm ET with former BT morning host Kevin Frankish and you can drop in by clicking either of these links: facebook.com/kevinfrankish or twitter.com/kevinfrankish. I hope you’ll put an alarm on your phone, watch, Google Home or Alexa and join us. Email me questions if you have anything you’re interested in. I don’t know what we’re talking about just yet but it’ll be fun, I promise.

If you come here via my FB page www.facebook.com/erindavispage, you’ve seen this video I posted earlier this week but it’s worth watching again: the little spotted fawn making his or her way through our backyard. Finally – a Fawnzie sighting! (Last night we saw a mamma with two fawns wandering through. It was too dusky to get any video, but you know I’ll be on the lookout. Did you know that roughly half of deer give birth to twins, and some 10% have triplets? OW!)

Then…my sis-in-law sent me this one and it’s cute. Married life during self-isolation at its funniest. We’re all doing the best we can and if we’re really lucky we’re learning how good it is to have chosen someone we truly like, not just tolerate or lust after, as our life partner. I can’t imagine being in a small space with someone who drives me up the wall or who can’t stand me. Goodness knows there are people who are in that situation – or worse – and I wish them only strength.

I hope you’ll tune in tonight for a visit and have a safe weekend. I’ll be back with you Monday as we welcome a new month. Or so they tell us….